Skip Navigation
Autism @lemmy.world
Lobster Bisque @lemmy.world
Vent

I had a debilitating meltdown at work today and had to leave because I couldn't get back on the proverbial horse

I work in a busy cafe atmosphere and everything kept going wrong sensory wise. I had kept mildly burning my hands while making food and felt hypersensitive to everything honestly. It was really busy and I was overwhelmed while trying to prioritize and multitask. Everyone else was reasonably busy, but I felt really unsupported. I try very hard to just let things roll off and go with the flow, but when things got confrontational with a coworker of mine I felt like I just started shutting down. Luckily I had a short break just in time, but the break wasn't enough time to calm down unfortunately. Pretty much just after getting back from my break, I felt sick to my stomach and excused myself from the floor in a rush only to have a meltdown in the bathroom. I couldn't stop thinking about how much time I was wasting and couldn't shrug it off or calm down very effectively. After spending forever trying to figure out what to do and what I needed, I let my manager know I needed to go home and that I was very sorry. I'll likely be reprimanded, but the manager working was very understanding which helped.

I've never been good at "gritting my teeth", bearing through discomfort, or "getting back on the horse" after something like that. I really dislike discomfort and tension (I think most people do lol), but my avoidance and inability to handle some amounts is really starting to hurt me as I get further into my adult life. I'd like to be able to get upset, excuse myself and calm down, and then be able to continue as if nothing happened at all, ideally. I just haven't figured out how to make that happen yet (hence the post).

Additionally, I plan to research possible accommodations and mental health benefits (which include talk therapies) through work for better coping strategies. Hopefully, that'll help, but I'd also appreciate thoughts, suggestions, or just hearing about what has helped you personally if you relate!

Small edit: Thank you so much for the support and advice! Posting was definitely a good idea!

6 comments

  • Mental health is just as important as physical health, but is often ignored because it's harder to see.

    You wouldn't try to keep walking on a dislocated leg even if it's just been relocated. You'd give it time to heal before putting your full weight on it.
    Trying to push through sensory overload is just like trying to walk on an injured leg. It's only going to make the symptoms worse until you stop and take care of it.

    Any reasonable manager would give an employee the day off to recover from a physical injury, so why would mental health be any less valid? You don't need to give the manager a reason to go home other than you weren't fit to work and needed the time off.

    The planning you mentioned can help, as can learning to identify when you start to feel overwhelmed and acting early. Early action often means less drastic action.

    The people who talk about "gritting their teeth" and "always pushing through" have never reached their limits and don't understand that it's terrible advice. When you reach your limit, something has to change.

    Given the circumstances you described, I think the decision to remove yourself from the stressful environment was the best decision you could have made.

    I'm proud of you; both for how you handled the situation, and for how you're learning from it.

  • I think as others here have said, by the time you made it to the bathroom, leaving for the day was absolutely the right decision. In terms of trying to prevent getting there, I have a few suggestions:

    • Telling your manager you need to take your break early, and take a bit more time than usual (even if that extra time needs to be unpaid). I don't know where you are in the world, but if it's safe to do so, tell them you'll need to head home otherwise.
    • Changing up your sensory environment to regulate. What I mean by that is find ways to assuage your five senses.
    • Sometimes that looks like completely removing a senses input, closing your eyes, or keeping some earmuffs in your bag.
    • Sometimes it's doing something that is sensorily pleasing. Something soft that's comfortable to touch, or a small snack that you like the taste and texture of.
    • Smells can also help. I don't want to sound like an essential oils saleslady, because most of it is woo-woo fluffery, but sniffing from a bottle of lavender oil can be really calming for me. It can be like a sensory reset.
    • Most importantly is finding the things that work For You, and that can take some time and experimentation. I like putting on music with a heavy beat that's not too fast, it helps me regulate my breathing.
6 comments