how's your week going, Beehaw

Really bad tbh, strugging with mental health issues. Starting therapy tomorrow. Hoping for the best.

I cried last night. I had it coming, but I already knew what I have to do. I needed it anyway. I'm just so tired, but I'm feeling refreshed now. The sun's out, the birds are chirping, and it's a new day.

Other than that, it's been the same ol stuff as the days before.

Life is just a beautiful bastard, for me anyway, and I just need to take it one step at a time and flow wherever the river takes me, whether I like it or not.

I mainly don't, but when I do, I live like there's no tomorrow, damn it.

I'm back home after spending a month on what is essentially an extended job interview/training opportunity at a hospital in another part of the country i'm considering moving to after I graduate medical school. It was fun, and I enjoyed it, but I'm so glad to sleep in my own bed. Now to begin the process of finalizing what I wanna be when I grow up, it's agonizing (but exciting too, tbh) to finally have to make a choice that really will decide at least the next few years, but ultimately the rest of my career.

Discovered a couple days ago that the rear brake on my nice road bike was dragging badly. Like, give the wheel a spin and it would stop in half a turn bad. No clue how I never noticed that in the not quite a year I've had the thing.

The insane part is that for a similar effort, my nice bike with a dragging brake still resulted in something like a 2 or 3 mph higher average speed than the still pretty nice gravel bike. I haven't had a chance to ride it since fixing the brake so I'm curious how it does now.

Although, that also would explain some downhill coasting speed weirdness I noticed on group rides.

Poorly. The amount of jobs I've applied to just to hear nothing back is almost impressive. I don't technically have great qualifications but I've shown through doing I can at least learn fast as hell.

It's been going okay I suppose, haven't seen a movie in like two weeks but I did finish Hollow Knight though I couldn't beat the true final boss.

Fucking sucks. Thanks for asking.

I'm traveling to Japan And South Korea this week. I'm looking forward to the trip but mostly excited for my wife who works way too hard and never treats herself to anything.

Ok? I've been applying for every grant that I remotely qualify for (academic stuff). I moved across the world with my family. Trying to get myself started again and not feel worthless has been a challenge.

I am fine, thank you for asking :)