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Is this it? Is there anything more to life, am I missing something?

Currently I am a uni student, working 4 days a week during the summer, moving to about 3 during term time.

Every day I'm not working I feel tired constantly, regardless of amount of sleep. I push through anyways to get the work that needs done finished, then sit down and just collapse basically. I wouldn't even call it relax, just sit and switch off.

I don't have any energy or motivation to play games anymore, even though I used to play avidly. I play guitar but it's been feeling like I'm not getting as much out of it now....

Once I'm out of uni, I'll be in full-time and, if I get into the industry I want, more mentally taxing work.

In short, is there something I'm missing here, or is work-eat-sleep-repeat all there is until I retire? Cause frankly I'm more sure I can be arsed if not...

EDIT

Thanks for the responses, I kinda posted this in a moment of hopelessness for life and I don't really know what I wanted as a response.

Asking for the meaning of life? Lemmy's great and all, but I don't think I'll find it here lmao

Regardless, there's a few things here for me to look into and take further, so thank you again!

If this is to close for comfort for rule 3, feel free to delete mods

95 comments
  • There's no meaning to life. It's a scam of an idea that we all fall prey to. Instead, think of it as just creating new meaning to it every single day depending on what you think and do. It's a liberating feeling, to be honest. Because now you don't have to stress yourself out to figure out some grand meaning [that doesn't exist] and inevitably failing and being depressed over that.

    • Absolutely correct. There is no inherent meaning to life. You get to decide what the meaning of your life is. For me, this is the purpose of my life:

      • Be happy, and make other people happy too.

      This is the objective. Then I try to figure out what steps will best accomplish that goal. Sometimes choosing to do something unpleasant now will lead to overall more happiness in your life, like going to the dentist so you don't lose a tooth. But don't just do a constant stream of unpleasant things just because society or family pressure you to do them. Do what you want to do with your own life.

      • I disagree a bit.

        There is a meaning to life, but too many people are taught that the meaning of life will be foisted upon them by the invisible hand of fate and fail to realize that the meaning of life is kind of like the meaning of lego. You are given all of the pieces, what you make out of it is what is valuable.

        So I agree with you that you do have to make something out of life to have a meaningful life but I disagree that it's a void and nebulous thing that you somehow have to wrest a shape from the nothingness for it to matter, that it has no inherent meaning.

        The meaning of life is that we have the opportunity to create something out of the pieces we are given, not that we have to make a meaning out of something that is meaningless.

  • Yes, there is more.

    You sound like you are experiencing burnout and as a result anhedonia and depression.

    Burnout is a very real clinical condition caused by the demands you are operating under being dysfunctional in some way. It is very real and can lead to a dangerous depression.

    Anhedonia is the loss of enjoyment in things you previously enjoyed. For example, when I had anhedonia video games because uninteresting, boring even, and the effort required to play was too much and there was no reward to playing.

    You need to deal with this before it escalates into full blown depression and burnout. It can take much longer to fix than it will take to stop now, so get started ASAP. Starting an antidepressant may be helpful, it may not, but it is just one tool and I personally would avoid it having done it before.

    The other steps for managing burnout are largely about changing the demands on you, the level of connection to other people, and what you do to relax. Exercise is a really helpful tool and honestly is what makes me resilient against another bout of burnout now.

    Good luck

    • This comment right here.

      With burnout and depressive states your ability to foresee the good in life, or even experiences outside of the grind, is severely curtailed: you essentially develop emotional tunnel vision. A psychiatrist can help you break the negative spiral.

  • Make sure that you're not depressed, this sounds like it. But it doesn't have to be a mental thing.

    Get your bloodwork done at a doctor (tell them you're constantly tired / don't have energy), that's the first check. If that checks out then you might be getting enough sleep, but it's shitty quality.

    For example despite 8+ hours a night I was feeling like crap most of the day. Well, my nose closed in the night and I couldn't breathe properly, which lead to awful sleep (I just had an operation for it, it has already gotten better but is still healing off). If you can breathe well through your nose, maybe do a sleep study to check if you actually get restful sleep.

    If all of that checks out too, then you might have to do lifestyle changes. More fresh air, sun, workouts, eating better, but you know the drill already.

    I'm also like you at times, and have been for a long time, but it does get better. One thing that's a bit crappy though is if you're in the US then vacation time is very limited (here in EU countries we don't have that problem as much). But really first check your health, you might confuse something being wrong with your body with a mental problem.

  • It sounds like you are describing depression. Here are some things that help me when I get to feeling like this. It's not easy to do when battling with low energy and a lack of motivation, but they help.

    • Do more outdoor activities. Normally in the form of walks, or biking to nearby locations instead of driving.
    • Drink more water. Basically, I just have a glass of water before drinking anything else.
    • Eat better. Nothing too extreme, I make an effort to prepare more foods at home and include more vegetables.
    • Change things. I'm not talking about a life change. Rearrange furniture, put up some different wall art, change your lighting, swap out the background images on your computers and / or mobile devices, etc.
    • Spend time with your thoughts. I would try to spend about 15 minutes to an hour each day sitting in silence, with no distractions. I don't force any thoughts. I just wait to see what bubbles to the surface. It usually helps me identify problem areas that I need to focus on.

    It is also possible that you have started down a life path that you feel you are "supposed" to pursue and not necessarily a path that you want to pursue.

    It could also be that you are burned out between school, work, and social obligations. Making more time for yourself or taking some time off, if that is an option, might help.

  • I don’t have any energy or motivation to play games anymore, even though I used to play avidly.

    That sounds like me. You know what was happening to me. I was diagnosed with depression. I'm not a doctor and I can't diagnose you over a internet forum post, but you might want to to see a doctor for potential health issues, or perhaps you might be dealing with a depression issue, like I am.

    I used to write and worldbuilding for my story, but ideas have run out and I just have no energy to continue writing. That's probably due to depression.

    Asking for the meaning of life? Lemmy’s great and all, but I don’t think I’ll find it here lmao

    The meaning of life is what you want it to be. The universe has not given us one.

    Biologically? It's to reproduce. For your DNA to continue existing (or at least part of it).

    Evolutionary? For our species to survive and go on conlonizing the solar system, galaxy, universe... etc. (hopefully doing so peacefully unlike in the past)

    Technologically? To achieve immortality.

    Philosophically?

    To find happiness. Do what's pleasurable to you (Hedonism).

    To be a good person. Make the world a better place (even if only slightly).

    To acquire more knowledge for yourself and share the knowledge to progress humanity. (Eg: Conduct science experiments, find fossils, identify unknown species (there are still a lot of unidentified species, oddly enough), etc.)

    Personally, I just try to find happiness, being happy makes everything else more meaningful for me.

    If this is to close for comfort for rule 3, feel free to delete mods

    There's also another community where you can just talk !chat@beehaw.org about life and stuff.

    Also, I know you are busy with college and stuff, but when I had an existential crisis, I found this show called The Good Place, it helped me process some thoughts regarding existence and stuff. You might want to watch it when you find the time to do so.

  • I was in the same work-eat-sleep-repeat for years and the only advice I have is to go see a psychologist (the one who helps by talking, sorry for my English). Ironically, but you need to work to build the work-life balance, and that's may be hard on start

  • I attribute my loss of interest in things to social media. My attention span is just cooked.

    I’m not depressed. I still deeply want to do the things I love - guitar and gaming are two interests of mine too. I just can’t stay with either for more than 5 minutes without being bored.

    And yes, being perpetually tired is your new adult reality. I negate tiredness by hitting the gym for an hour each day. One hour of working out = 5 to 6 hours of unbridled energy for the day regardless of commitment. As I get older though, I get diminishing returns on this as the week goes on.

    I also think it’s semi-natural to get more bored and tired as you get older. Technically, we’re supposed to grow up, breed, take care of kids, and die. That’s our deal. No where in there are we supposed to have room for a career, a degree or trade, two hobbies, 10 close friendships, annual overseas trips, and weekends partying. Just my two cents in this area. Not a scientist.

  • You've had lots of advice, so I'm not going to give any, but wishing you well mate. It's really hard when things feel like this. I hope it gets better for you soon and I'm optimistic that it will.

  • I hope you enjoy what you're learning, because there's a reason everyone tells you to do what you love. It can be an enormous source of fulfilment or a nightly headache.

    A few years ago working at a convenience store right out of school, I used to park 15 minutes early just to sit and sulk about having to go in for 1st shift. I went through a period that kinda sounds like yours. All I wanted was to go back to college and stay there. I really enjoyed the learning, spending time with my peers, and the drugs.

    Now, 5 years later, I might get a few hours per day where I'm not working on something and I couldn't be happier. Right now you're probably working a college gig. It's probably not entirely fulfilling work. For now, just keep going and keep an eye out on new skills that you can learn. I've learned things from the dregs that has applied to every

    You get new hobbies and pleasures as you go too. Long-term projects become more sexy. Things you can drop in on and leave whenever. I think that's why "the dad with the train set in the basement" is such a trope.

    Do you have a pet? I couldn't live properly without a cat around.

    The Home Depot thing is real. It's quickly becoming one of my favorite places to go. Maybe head over there sometime, think of all the stuff you can build, and learn something new while building it. We have YouTube, we better take advantage of it.

    The responsibility kinda becomes a point of pride. Idk if pride is the word for it. It certainly makes you stand up straighter, with more self-respect.

  • You sound burned out and/or depressed. Are you doing the things you really want to do? Or are you just progressing down a track for the wrong reasons?

    Video games and guitar don't give inherent meaning to life, but they are good examples of things that people do because they want to. Of course work is work for a reason, but It's important to think about whether you have genuine passion for your current path.

  • In addition to what others have said, I think a lot of people would agree that their 20s were the most difficult time in their lives. It’s a stark contrast from your life leading up to it, where everything from nap time to senior prom has been planned out for you, your job is simply to attend. Around your age this changes and you’re “given the keys” and have much more freedom to choose your path. (This is very much an oversimplification and does not apply to everyone)

    This will sound kinda strange but for most people, at ~20 you still haven’t really settled into the person you will be for the rest of your life. Your brain is still developing and changing. It’s a time for turbulence and self-reflection for many, and I absolutely would not take your current outlook as “this is it.” You still have a lot to learn about yourself and the world, and I mean that in the best way.

    It does sound like you could be overtaxing yourself, but others have covered that already. Try not to take things too seriously, and make sure to stop and smell the roses. We’ve heard that so many times that it’s easy to overlook what an amazing piece of advice it is. All of the happiest people I know are the types that do literally, and figuratively, stop to smell the roses.

  • Sorry to say but this is it. If you follow the uni then work path, this will be your life. Getting married and having children will add more stress and expenses.

    That's why I hate money and the setup of the world, is plain satanic if you ask me.

    However you can change the course of your life now. If you're able to find some land somewhere to live, build an initial home out of scraps and farm the land, you might be able to live free, but without money.

    Alternatively you could travel the world, doing odd jobs in each country to make money. Especially in Europe, once you're here, there are no borders and plenty of trains so get a temp job and live in a hostel. See that country, meet people, have fun then move to the next country and repeat. This has worked out well for some people who say it have them a new perspective on life.

    It's up to you.

  • This smells like burnout. I would suggest taking a break. Can you take a semester off? Maybe go travel? Working holiday somewhere?

95 comments