Dik Piks

I took a picture of a sparrow once. They’re called Spatz in German. In my local dialect, they’re called "Spotz" ʃpɔts in english it’s pronounced like "shpowts" - which is one of the words used for penis as well. Picture in German is Bild and in the local dialect it’s "büdl" ˈbʏdl in English pronounced like "boodle" (you have no pronunciation for ü).
So in my local dialect, a sparrow-pic is pronounced the same as a dick-pick. Spotzbüdl - ʃpɔtsˈbʏdl - spowthsboodle
- Here, have some unsolitised tits and boobys
  
  Those are some nice tits and boobys.
  Looking at them really makes my
  
  Woah woah woah! At least post some SFW Boobies!
- Your spotz is adorable! So short and fluffy!
- We kind of do have a pronunciation of ü The cornish town Bude, would be pronounced by locals as “Büd” It’s how I explained to my kids how to handle umlaut words, if it was the English word “lane“ imagine it’s spelled ‘laen’ and then get rid of the e to make ‘län’. It’s rare but some English words still use æ as a sound not a pair of letters. Spelæological for caving for instance. Often simplified to speleological.
  
  I feel like it’s easier to tell English speakers to make an “eee” sound with their lips and then pronounce the vowel in question (ä, ö, ü) with the rest of their mouth (at least that’s how we do it when we sing in German, I know choral German doesn’t always line up with proper German pronunciation).

This felt like hearing one of those hardcore grannies dropping a truth bomb on their spoilt grandchild in public, and all people in a 10m radius shut up and start thinking if it also applies to them.
Doesn't happen often, but Balkan grannies are like Speed Metal when they hit.

... reply pls
- Rufus!

I sent you my penis pls respond
- Damn, your penis is detachable? I hope they send it back once they're done.
  
  fool, it's mine now
  
  Detachable Penis: King Missile https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4
  
  Always include a self-addressed, stamped envelope.

So, you're not sending noods then?
- I do like to send noods (recipe is adding salt & herbs to the noodle water, then adding cheese to herb noodles)
  
  That's hot.
  For my spotted dick recipe, I like to let the raisins rehydrate in a bowl of lemon juice. Really gives the flavor a little extra pop of brightness.
  
  salted noodle water? well look at mr. fucking gourmet over here, sheesh
  
  Damn, those noods are practically naked! Come to think of it, it's that they are not quite naked that makes them so hot.

The only dick pix I want to see are dik-dik pix.
https://marybatessciencewriter.com/home/2015/08/03/the-creature-feature-10-fun-facts-about-the-dik-dik
How can you tell a male dik-dik from a female dik-dik?
Look for the dik-dik dick
- Dik-diks are tiny....
  
  With a prehensile nose. And fangs. And smelly glands.
  And yes, so tiny they would probably roll coal in a lifted truck
- I don't get it. Trekkies make good campus escorts?

That career bragging tho... Girl that's a red flag
- Yeah, this seems like an excuse to brag more than anything. Men are gross, but all the extra made me think that dick picks weren't the point of this post.
  
  I met girls on tinder who told me how they always get dick picks, and i'm pretty sure most of them is to make them seem more interesting or for attention. I know that sounds like victim blaming, but i asked more than one girl how you send pictures on tinder and they just deleted me or made some things up on how you send pictures.
- I don't agree. To me, it helps to emphasize the ridiculousness of coming in swinging with a dick pic instead of starting an actual human conversation and acknowledging that the person you're talking to deserves respect and has more going on than a hole for you to stick something in.
  
  That goes without saying. But to be clear, we don't know the dick pick timing. Also I think that regardless of the vulgarity and the obvious stupidity of sending your meat to a person who didn't ask for it, there is something positive to be found in any expression of desire towards oneself no matter how crude and idiotic.
- 💯 secretly she loves the dick pics
  
  Oh for sure hahah she's like look at me I'm smart successful AND I get dicks I'm not a dry PhD removed

Fermented omelet

I still have never received an unsolicited dick pic. I’ve never struggled to get men to like me though… I wonder what it is about me that tells them not to bother with the picture.
- It's been 15 minutes since you posted, how many did you receive until now?
  Edit: here's something even better. A dik dik pic.
- rip ur inbox
- You probably attract high quality men
- Wow you are a girl and you've next got one? All of my female friends get them constantly.
  What I get a lot is "young girls" saying they're sooo interested in me. With profiles that were just created. I'm sure they're actually a hairy guy named Pyotr.
- over the many years I have been online, I have received 100s of unsolicited dick picks. I am a guy, and straight. meh, just letting me know to block them I guess.
  
  Maybe your username has something to do with it

Umm technically by ignoring them she is the opposite of a slut. Just saying.
Not that there's anything wrong with sluts. I'm very slutty myself.
- Most women learn from a very young age that the real definition of slut is 1) you used to have sex with me and not longer do so you're a slut; 2) I want to have sex with you but you don't notice me therefore you're a slut; and 3) my boyfriend, husband, guy I like thinks you're hot so you're a slut. Doesn't have anything to do with what sex the "slut" may or may not be having. Many women were labelled sluts while they were still virgins.
  
  Good point. It's just a slur. I take things too literally sometimes
  
  I guess it would make sense to counter that slur with a counter-slur.
  I.e., when somebody calls you a slut, respond by calling them a "needy one" or sth. Might hit a spot.
  where the "need" is the need to be an asshole, i mean
- Sure but that doesnt matter. The point is making insults they thing will hurt or humiliate you, because they feel humiliated. People do that by insulting presumed insecurities.
  Women get called fat ugly sluts, men get called small dicked virgin losers. We're just calling each other failures at our gender roles.
- I'm very slutty myself.
  I hope you're prepared for the flood of dik piks you're about to receive from the unwashed masses
  
  OPs got plenty of their own dick pics on their profile.
  I salute you ExhibiCat, fellow uncut person 🫡
  
  Well I'm a guy. Heteroflexible and pretty open though so I don't mind dick pics.
  In fact the instance I'm on is full of them :)

- Spotted

As gross as it is, the people sending dick pics aren't looking for your approval, it's a numbers game. If you're confident enough to hang that dong, someone is gonna be interested. Like I said it's gross but they don't do it because it doesn't work, you catch a fish with enough throws
- If they did that irl they would most likely get arrested in most countries so it's kinda fucked up that they think it's still fine to do online
  
  There was a guy in my fraternity who did this. Every time there was a party of some kind he would swing by all the girls and introduce himself. "Hi, I'm Curry, wanna fuck?" (Curry was his nickname). He always went home with someone.
- We know why they do it. That doesn't make it any less inappropriate. These guys don't care who they make uncomfortable in their quest for validation. It's like a kid that throws a fit to gain attention, uncaring about who they might hurt in the process. Except unlike a developing child, these men should be mature enough to know better.
- So why would they get mad of someone doesn't react? The people asking me to help them get their 50 trillion dollar inheritance out of the country don't seem to mind when I don't reply.
- Does it ever work at all? even 1 in a million times seems too many to me.
  I've only known of that working in Grindr or sites like that where thirsty population is high, and where most people are seeking for that. But in normal social media I wouldn't expect to ever work, at all.
- It is. But the reality of those sites is that for a guy the vast majority of your messages will never be read. You are shouting at the void and hoping for the best. This does not incentivize taking the time and psychological investment to write thoughtful messages, because you will send comparatively few and the lack of response is harder to deal with when you're more invested. It incentivizes sending the quickest messages that you care about the least to as many as possible. The guy didn't send her a dick pic, he sent every woman in a 50 mile radius the same dick pic hoping that with enough sheer volume he'll get a response.
  It's basically spam that wants to fuck you, because non-spam options don't get you anywhere.

I don't see the relevance of her day job here?
- While I agree with the fact that this kind of behaviour [i.e. randomly "hanging brain" (my new favourite idiom), unsolicited, in someone's DMs] is SO many shades of shitty in whichever context it happens, in this case in particular the job description* really does work for building up context and highlighting the dichotomy between the type of people who send dick pics and the type of people they sometimes reach.
  As a bottom line, it should serve as a good enough cautionary tale about keeping one's damned junk in their pants unless someone wants to see it, because one'll most likely end up looking like an utter asshole while also potentially ruining someone else's mood for literally no good reason whatsoever.
  (still me, blahaj is down)
  Edit: to avoid any pointless "but it isn't just men" replies, of course it isn't just men, but women seem to not have such a huge friggin' need to expose themselves to unaware passers-by. This is me, speaking as an AMAB and approximately cishet. And I wouldn't like to see a random centrefold on my phone while checking my messages, either, to be perfectly frank. There's a time and a place, and many more factors before I get to that point.
  
  So apparently if you aren't a fucking scientist, then dick pics are okay to send to you.
  The "type" of people shouldn't fucking matter.
- It's just painting a picture. The story could just as easily been putting together a family dinner and focusing on what everyone's preferences that you've learned over the years. Or something more Lemmy based would be dealing with a production issue as a developer and then BAM dick pic.
  It's just story telling to me.
- Plot twist, some of guys sending might also be similarly educated and employed at her level, but still will exhibit the Neanderthal brain on occasion.
- skill issue

I've never sent a dick pic and I don't know if my anxiety/insecurity would allow me to send one even if it was requested.
I can't fathom just sending one to a stranger without being asked for it.
- I've gotten some on Discord. Men don't send unsolicited dick pics to show off, they show them to harass. I only get them from people I'm not paying attention to. Like if someone messages me and I stop messaging back that's typically when I get them. You can't fathom doing it because you're (hopefully lol) not someone who would sexually harass people. They don't feel shame for doing it. To them, getting any sort of reaction to it is the goal. Telling them "you're disgusting" would be giving them attention and something they want.
  PSA: When you get unsolicited dick pics, block and report. Don't respond. Don't reward their behavior. If you'd like to go on some crusade to tell their mother (I've seen some people do that lol) that's another topic, but never reply to them directly by saying anything.
  It sounds like my experience is a little different from this woman's though, I typically get them after I stop answering. I haven't ever gotten one in the first message. But the "uh, hello??" part tracks with what I've seen. It's attention seeking behavior.
- Me neither I did it once after she pretty much threatened to strangle me if I didn't. 🤣 And yes we still have contact to this day.
  But I will never send one unsolicited, it's so fucking weird, it's the same as the flashers in the park, what 30 years ago, dumb fucks with no common sense or decency.
  And it is so useless, I mean the woman that would like it I wouldn't like, and the woman I would like will hate it. So there is nothing to gain unless you have a really low bar.

I would gladly send a dik pic of my own, provided she appreciates diminutive mammalian ruminants.
- OMG such dorky little elks. I love them

Obligatory Tom Cardy
- This is amazing! Thanks!

i agree with them about men but the rest of this tumbl or whatever the posts on tumblr are called is giving sheldon
- They're called posts.
  
  How original.

Psh, amateurs.
You gotta send multiple dick pics.
When I really like someone, I let them see my big dick.
- You might like this (if you're not already familiar with this masterpiece) https://youtu.be/_-BjC1GHwPY
- There's a Dick van Dyke joke in here somewhere.
  
  Gotta be a Tricky Dick.

Wicked burn. Top tier domination. Would read again.

Send them a random dick pic back.

Couldn't imagine ever sending a dik pik, but if I did, it would be self-deprecating and meant to elicit laughter. Talk about "short" comings.
- This won my Guffaw of the Day Award.

This genuinely made me laugh!

what app?

Is she whinging or bragging?
- both.
- How do you whinge?
  
  They say whinge in Britain for wine

Got any DOIs to share? I'd like to read about some bioreactors and polymer physics.

I can't understand the reasoning behind it. Do they think women like that? What's the success rate? Are women just scrolling when all of a sudden they see a dick pic and are like "wtf I'm so horny now".
Or they just think if they see tits it makes them horny so women MUST be the same way? If so I feel like it's been well established that isn't the case....
- It's probably a mix of throwing shit at the fan, power dynamics, the thrill of the taboo and probably a little bit of a humiliation fetish. It's never about the receiver. It's an aggressive act.
- A picture is worth a thousand words
  "Hi I am...I am looking for sex"
  If you are using a dating website and actually trying. You'd look at a profile, read their bio, and then send a message that had something to do with their bio. (Could also comment on pictures)
  But it is a numbers game to an extent and most messages sent will never see a reply.
  So what is the least effort highest reward thing to send first? Private picture.
  They are hoping that the person opens it and it catches their eye.
  If their first thought is to send a private picture, they are not really looking for small talk. So it has the added bonus of weeding out non-sexual people.
  It's no risk, high reward
- the principle equivalent genital exchange.
  they think if dick pic is send vag/boob pic will be the response
  
  Lol they're trying to transmute their dick pics to gold
- Or they just think if they see tits it makes them horny so women MUST be the same way?
  This one. The problem is that by the time 90% of the hetro cis male population of one generation has figured this out, a new generation of teen hetro cis males are right behind them. A better sex education class would cover this.
- I've never sent one, because anxiety n stuff. But from talking to the few of my friends that do it works quite often on tinder. They basically treat tinder and and instant hookup app. The flow is basically swipe > wanna hook up here's what i got? > ok come over.
  My friend says works 100% of the time on fat women and 15% of the time on the rest. Which is enough to always have a few girls to call over at any time.
  
  There so much misogyny oozing out of your comment, I think I'll go disinfect my screen now.
  Hope your friend gets convicted for sending unsolicited explicit content 👍

You drastically overestimate the share of people's impulses that come from rational thinking, and fail to account for the fact that humans are rationalized beings, not rational beings. That means, people are emotionally first, and secondarily taught to act somewhat rational.