The First Zombie of a Zombie Apocalypse

The worst part of a viral apocalypse is that it takes a fuckton of stupid, unobservant and selfish people to spread it irreparably before it's noticed. The best part is that, in the West at least, we have witnessed an adequate amount of aforementioned morons who'd do just that in our universe
- Oh, if zombies are very slow-motion slow, blind & death, and you basically have to help them move their jaw to actually bite you - we are stil not surviving the apocalypse.
  We will however have to go to work through all if it.
  
  eSsEnTiAl WoRkErS
- "You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons."
  
  Strangely enough, those "simple farmers" are those who will avoid you because they need to get the work done.
  Unless they happen to be on SocialMedia and the propaganda algorithm wants them to be conspiracy theorists.
- I'm just saying the vaccine to cure zombification is more dangerous than the zombie bite! I could get autism or something!

On lemmy.ml they’d be arguing that the zombie should be supported because a zombie apocalypse will destroy US imperialism.
- And that any evidence of the zombie eating brains is simply Western propaganda.
  
  Like the girl in the comic, for example. The zombie didn't eat her brain and she's clearly very smart.
- And in the US they would claim the zombie was made by China.
- I'd argue the zombies are effective at eating the rich

After seeing how excited some folks got during COVID, that's genuinely somewhat of a worry for me. Kind of like how lonely, young men can be sold on the idea of war, because they think they'll finally be adored as a hero, you can just as well find preppers who think they'll finally be adored, because they bought toilet paper before everyone else could.
In the case of COVID, it was thankfully a disappointment for the preppers, in that the best survival strategy was staying in your cushty home. That will be the case for the vast majority of infectious diseases. But I still bet someone out there had the intrusive thought that maybe they shouldn't help reduce the spread of COVID, because you won't be deemed a hero without a real crisis...
- Teddy Roosevelt wanted a war to make him into a more famous President.

Seems like many people genuinely long for some kind of massive cataclysm that creates a Mad Max world. Kind of reminds me of some notable WWI veteran saying something like he rather enjoyed it. The difference is that he was looking back on stuff he'd actually done, and most of the people fantasizing are wannabees who wouldn't last 5 minutes if the real thing happened.
- my family used to run a business that imported products from american companies specialising in things like hand loading (basically making your own ammunition). just before we got out of the business, around 15 years or so, one of the bigger actors (starts with an H, guy named steve runs it), they introduced a zombie-themed line of products, including ammunition cases, fake blood spattered bandoliers, and targets.
  just... human targets. with zombie print on them. for civilian use.
  to say that they just did this in order to be able shoot people without consequence might be judging too harshly... if we hadn't met steve.

Idea for a horror comedy movie:
A group of teenagers encounter the first zombie and put it down, but the damn thing just keeps getting back up.
- How about one that diverts expectations?
  Like, instead of slow zombies, you get fast ones. Faster than they could run before. Maybe even faster than some vehicles. Because they don't feel pain.
  And instead of dumb zombies, they are smart. They set traps, use tools. Maybe even drive cars.
  Shooting the brain also does nothing. You got to shoot them in the ass since that is the way the parasite entered the body and how they communicate with the hive.
  And like all the zombie preppers die-out quickly because they think the zombies will react like the ones from Hollywood. So they think they can play the hero while being outsmarted by fast zombies.
  Humanity would not last long, and afterwards the world is populated entirely by a zombie civilization that looks eerily similar to our own but like better.
  
  World War Z - fast
  Reanimator - smart
  The Return of the living dead - immune to headshots, make traps
  Dreamcatcher - Alien Ass Parasites
  Zombieland - unlikely survivors
  I don't think you're as original as you think you are, pal.
  
  I like it. Let's do that. But then the twist happens.
  The super fast super genius zombies get infected. And now they have to survive in a apocalyptic post-apocalyst. Directed by M Night.
- Weekend against Bernie
- The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
  
  NGL I did enjoy that film, but it had a lot of invincible zombies not just 1.
  I'm talking about a film with ONE cheesy, campy, animalistic, frothing and gurgling zombie that they run over, stab, burn, shoot in the head, feed its intestines into a woodchipper, cut in half, etc but it just keeps crawling back to find another victim when they're displaying a human moment of vulnerability.
  Specifics can change but I imagine a misty mountainside with lots of oaks and a creek and long winding roads. Put the kids out there as part of their college studies in cooperation with the forestry services. Get a scene where a character breaks their leg from a fall and has to crawl away while being chased by the zombie with only 1 arm, a head, and a torso.
  Possibly have the twist ending be the last survivor find an old torn apart camp with the zombie's camera and personal identifying information and the character realizes he died out there all alone and nobody ever even looked for him, make it a meta-narrative about male loneliness destroying lives, idk, there is options for sure.
  
  Return of the Return of the Living Dead?
- Chop it up so it can't move. Problem solved!
  
  Yeah but then the movie would end. It would be like the Child's Play film if the mom read the instructions on the box.
- loool, that's a great idea!!

Report the zombie to ICE as an illegal immigrant.
- Ahahahaha xD

That's genuinely the reaction when I pointed out how ridiculous it is for the military (or anyone really) to be overwhelmed by a rotting and slow-moving corpse. World War Z and I am Legend made the zombie apocalypse more believable.
- You ought to play Dying Light. Freshly made zombies move fast, then slow down to a crawl. Also some mutate and come out at night to hunt.
  
  I have the game on my backlog!
- World War z had a good section on why conventional warfare vs zombies fails. (Headshot x volume > ammunition)

pretty bizarre to see a zombie pop out and presume kt is the first and only zombie in the world

Probably a net benefit for the environment, too…
- ah yes, ecofascism
  
  But not seriously
- A super-win for biodiversity, the last hail Mary that somehow unexpectedly worked.

I dunno. It'd be nice to mix things up a bit. Find a whole new set of things to worry about.

Could just be a regular necromancy zombie.

It would also be so much very a lot eco friendly.

Accelerationism in a nutshell.
- Literally not. Accelerationism is for speeding up things that will happen anyways, while here there is a choice between it happening and not happening at all.
  
  It is specifically about causing an imagined future crisis to happen as soon as possible to get to the imagined golden age following it