It's too hot to think of why or how

They forgot the 3rd mode. When all the popped kernals are gone, and all you have left are the unpopped kernals that you still eat anyways.
- My parents used to warn me that I might end up cracking a tooth on the kernels. I still eat them anyway. Probably gonna regret that one day lol.
- I never expect my standards to sink that low and yet they always do.
- The partially popped ones are the best. I’d eat a whole bowl of those. No idea how you would successfully cook them that way.
  
  Oh man I love the partially popped ones. I love finding a cluster of them in the bottom of the bag.
- I've broken a tooth filling this way :(

Where's us weirdos that like to eat 1-3 at a time by one sticking to our tongue like a frog
- Present!
- Lol I was telling a coworker about that the other day and they called me a weirdo. Best way to eat popcorn and keep your hands clean!
- https://youtu.be/hC3w0TCG-Yo
- I have to try this the next time!

The secret third phase is scraping the last few kernels across the butter/salt film on the bottom of the bowl.
- What's the phase where the popcorn is gone, so you drag your finger through the salt/butter residue, then lick it off like an animal?
  
  The secret 3½ stage?

I just start with the second mode.
- The transition happens at the exact moment that my fingers first touch the popcorn
- Yeah phase 1 is optional, some of us only wish that we were that sophistumicashiated as all that!

It starts when the popcorn begins to cool enough that both it's safe to ram mouthfuls and it's a race against the clock to finish before it becomes cold.

Didn't know about the first phase.
- Yep, never heard of it.

Remember to always keep at least one kernel or your system won't boot.

My friend introduced me to eating popcorn with chopsticks for practice and I've been doing it ever since.
No buttery fingers, no fistfuls of corn. Just a slow and forced-portioning pace.
- Y'all using tools while I'm over here tonguing these fuckers out of the bowl like a tubby ant eater.
  
  a tubby any eater.
  Anything? Free tonight?
  
  That's a great image haha
- Ugh, you're VERY right, but they don't sell 'em around here. We don't have the pairs we used to have anymore...

Pop-corn enthusiasts, how do you make them? Ready-made microwave shite, or from kernels? If from kernels, do you use a special air-frier, or just pan with oil? I use the air-frier but I find that my biggest problem is getting the butter taste in them afterwards. I'm dripping a butter-tasting rapeseed oil afterwards, but this tends to not reach the bottom layers if I make a lot.
What's your approach?
- Split it in two bowls, apply topping, toss it around, combine bowls
- Just use ghee in place of oil on the stove and use more than you think you'll need. Drown the kernels in that delicious high heat clarified butter.
  
  Unfortunately it's a bit too expensive around here
- I've been looking into this air fryer / self-stirring cooking pot "Delonghi Multifry". Could work to get it mixed with butter while air frying.
  Although I'm mostly thinking about air frying breaded chickpeas, noodles / spätzle, gnocchi and potatoes. Not to save on oil mind you, just to avoid having to get off my ass and stir the pan all the time.
- I use an 8 cup saucepan with a splash of avocado oil. After popping I cover it in melted garlic butter with parmesan and nooch
- Microwave is okay in a pinch.
  Kettle style with the built in stirrer, a touch of canola and salt can be very good.
  I prefer air popped, with a 1:1 ratio of butter tbsp per 1/3 cup kernel batch, and dusted with fine popcorn salt.
- I've had this guy for a couple years now: https://a.co/d/ggaW5BS
  Few butter patties and some kernels then salt once done; works great

Tangential, but anyone passing by this comment and doesn't like popcorn after working at a theater?
Whenever I see a bowl of popcorn it reminds me of that smell of popcorn and coke mixed together in a garbage can. It's not so bad that I don't eat it at all. But if I do, I have very little.
- My first job was at a theatre. The black jeans they had us buy to work there never lost the smell of popcorn butter. I kept them for a few years thinking they'd lose the smell after enough washings, but no.
  I know that coke/popcorn/garbage mix smell, and how stupidly heavy a full trash bag gets when there's too many full sodas in it.
  I don't eat popcorn often, but I remember we got it for free as employees in a small-sized cup. A few of us would make popcorn "parfaits" that consisted of popcorn, butter, and intentionally too much salt for several layers.
  That and the slightly over-syruped coke we'd also get for free worked oddly well together.
  I assume that this will ultimately be the cause of a massive heart attack, but the free snack smell-memory outpaces the garbage memory for me.

I've never done the second.
- It's OK to admit it, this is a safe zone
- Eh, the messiness is wholly dependent on the person. Me? I can get fistfulls in my mouth without dropping a single kernel or breaking any pieces off (that fall away, anyways). The mess comes from forgetting my fingers are fucked over with salty butter...

I'm a fist-stuffing guy. There is also no popcorn left by the time the previews are over. 😔
Also: Is eating all the only slightly popped kernels left at the bottom its own phase? I do that.
- I'm a fist-stuffing guy
  Sure, but how do you eat your popcorn?
  Also eating the half popped kernels is absolutely a phase. Especially if it involves gradually lowering your standards of what a half popped kernel is until youre just biting off the point of the kernels

Same with chips or nuts.

Popcorn + spoon is the way. Clean hands plus high throughput.
- What the fuck
- Probably eat french fries with a fork as well you psychopath.
  
  Chopsticks, unironically. Better than having salt all over your hands.

Popcorn is great and all, but having some piece of popcorn stuck in your throat…
- Luxury! How about getting a piece of a kernel shell stuck between a tooth and the gum, and taking three days to get it out?
  
  Luxury?! Have you ever had that happen at a movie theater? You just start sucking down on the limited coke that needs to last the whole movie, just to try and get that out. And all you wanted was to enjoy the movie in peace.
  Though I will concede. Had some popcorm stuck between teeth during a movie. No fun. Not a kernel, though, and eventually either it was gone somehow, or I got used to it

Honestly depends on how drunk I am

Same as for chips

Same thing happens with fries and pizza rolls.