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JustAManOnAToilet @lemmy.world

2y ago

Three women injured in otter attack in Montana

Three women injured in otter attack in Montana

35 comments

Remember when we all thought how cute it was that that one otter was stealing surf boards? They’re done being cute, now.
- different otters. entirely different species.
  
  Bruh. Don't fall for the propaganda.
  This is just the beginning. I'm getting out while I still can.
- Otters are only cute to people that don’t know anything about otters.
  They’re massive rapists.
  
  If you look at the animal kingdom, you'll see that rape is kind of the norm.
  
  Yeah, but they hold hands when they sleep and break clams on their tummies!!!

Just bite back, your teeth are bigger and your jaws are stronger! You are an animal, act like one!
- Beat it into a pulp. Then have sex with its corpse. Not for pleasure but to send a message to its kind.
  
  I don't have any messages I need to send that badly.
- Mustalids routinely win against larger prey. Stout kill full size rabbits and a wolverine has been recorded to have killed a polar bear. Don't give the otter an excuse.
- Also, your saliva is more infectious.

Otters are apex predators simply because they have the ability of tactical genius working in strike group squads. If you've ever seen the videos of them taking down and drowning crocodiles, then you know. They are not omg adorbs so cute!! They can and will destroy you. Walking navy seal copypastas.
- Zootopia taught me that (Emmett) Otter(ton) is apex predator that can go...Savage.

God damn I didn't know otters were 1.2 meters long, that's a big fuckin' marmot dude
- Giant otters in the Amazon can get to be 2 meters long.
- There's a video on YouTube where otters were housed with monkeys, the monkeys trolled the shit out of the otters for the Lulz... Eventually the otters all sort of snapped, together, grabbed one and absolutely mauled the shit out of it.

Of all the things to get attacked by in Montana. Not a bear, not a mountain lion, or a wolf, or a moose. Nope, a fucking otter is the thing that gets you. Jesus.

By the grace of god you made it out of the river? By the grace of god? You dumb shitheel an otter bit your fuckin' ear off. If anything your stupid ass got smote.

That otter make her think twice.

Alright, Florida Man, you're up.
Call, Raise, or Fold?

Otters are mean

Yikes.

Someone go tell Asst. Mayor Bellweather that she was right! The otters have gone savage!

It ... it bit part of her ear off!!

"... And in otter news!"

Could you please edit the post to have the NSFW tag checked. Thank you (:

That Otter leave a mark!

Now we all know that otters fuck and specifically with YOU.

That otter leave a mark!

- The poor woman got her face fucked so hard that people are telling her she's not safe for work anymore. RIP.

35 comments