What's a societal expectation you're glad you didn't meet?
There's a lot of societal expectations for women, and often we totally understandably end up meeting them cos we feel we have to. They also sometimes just don't happen for us. What's one you're glad you didn't meet?
For me it's having kids. I never wanted them and people kept saying I'd change my mind, needed to meet the right person, my feelings would change if I had one etc. I always flat out refused and would point blank tell people this. I've never had kids, and I'm nearly menopausal and single so definitely won't. And I'm 1000000% happy I don't!
I love my freedom, children and parenting isn't my cup of tea and I've really done what's right for me.
Same here. I've ended relationships with people I otherwise adored over their inability to accept this choice.
Yes it's a dealbreaker. Not something you can compromise on!
So, I did go through a few years when I fancied the idea of having kids, but was never in a stable enough relationship for it to be fair on the kid ... also, being gay would have had to adopt, and you have to be well off financially for that!
I'm glad I didn't - so much would have had to be sacrificed, wouldn't have been able to move to another country, etc etc, and TBH I don't think I would have been a good parent because I would have resented them because of that.
100% you did what's right for you.
Where I live, women are expected to take on all or most of the domestic duties and childcare despite also working full time. While I don’t mind doing these things, I am vehemently opposed to being defaulted to them just because I happened to be born without a penis. I don’t see a value in living with another person if I’m going to be doing everything by myself anyway.
I totally agree. The penis doesn't prevent men's ability to do chores, it just prevents the mindset that they should. Why cohabit if you're just gonna be a live in maid?
I've been with my husband for a long time - it'll be 25 years this September. We only got married 3 years ago, and it was because I needed to go on his health insurance so I could retire. We were both happy with not being married, and also both fine with tying the knot once we saw an actual reason to do it. We didn't have a wedding, we just self-united (something you can do in Pennsylvania thanks to Quaker tradition) and filed the paperwork with the state. We don't wear rings and I kept my name. Literally nothing changed other than my health insurance.
Until we got married, a lot of people seemed really unable to understand why I didn't care about getting married. In the beginning there was a lot of external pressure/expectation on us to get married, which did die off after a while. I'm really glad that we did it on our own terms when it made sense to us, rather than caving to societal expectations.
Similar to me, we'll have been together 10 years in October, married for 4. We married with one witness for each of us, which is the legal minimum here, primarily for the purposes of legal paperwork.
We do call each other "Mrs. Sharkweek" in an annoying cutesy way though, and we do wear wedding rings (stainless steel, 30€ each!)
It has worked really well for us.
Nice and simple, I love it!!
Since not getting married or reproducing have both been mentioned quite a bit (and are for sure my top two as well), I’ll go a bit further down the line.
I’m really glad I stopped wearing makeup at 15., and never started again. I’m just shy of 40 now and on the rare occasion I do wear something, for a wedding or something, everyone gushes about how nice it looks and that feels good, but I am thrilled I don’t waste my time or money on it every day. My skin looks 10 years younger, and I’m not financially contributing to marketing campaigns that make people self-conscious about their appearance.
(If makeup is your jam that’s cool, zero judgement, I’m just very lazy and don’t care how I look enough to spend money and time on it)
I actually started wearing more "outrageous" make-up looks in my 30s eg strong eyeliners, eye shadows etc on a normal day and not for anything specific reason. I think wearing "weird" make-up is on the other end of the same spectrum and as valid as not wanting to wear anything at all; in the mainstream culture of how a general woman should be (in western culture at least), wearing too much or too little make-up is sadly wrong. I am happy you have found the way that you feel the most comfortable to be yourself :)
I wear make-up maybe twice a year at Big Events™ only. Any other day I just use soap and water and keep my skin as clear as possible. It's very liberating, including of the pocketbook.
I quit wearing makeup around 30. I went lighter, and lighter until I just dont wear it. Putting on mascara is all I do, maybe three times a year for a social event, but that is it.
I have some hydrochloric acid, I think it is, the little blue container from Neutrogena, to help with dry skin, but that is the extent of my skincare routine. My skin is almost always clear and perfect.
I put foundation or cover up on my face once, and I run the risk of breaking out.
Staying out that cycle has made me a happy lady with more money/time for other things. I'm ageing fine.
One thing I was always jealous of men for, they wake up throw on pants and walk out the door. Well, I be like that now too. Love it, and I could never go back.
I also don't hate on women who like it either, but I definitely prefer no makeup myself.
Pammy Anderson does the same thing! I totally support your decision.
Not having children. It's a relief. The thought of having to take care of a small extremely vulnerable being, and form it into a good member of society? Fuck that. Also it's going to DIE someday and that would be my fault bringing it into an entropic universe.
No thanks.
I thank Dog every day I never got pregnant, especially with my ex. I'm watching my brother's girlfriend now and the hell she's going through with her abusive ex and custody issues. Also I just really dislike being around small children.
Marriage. Procreation.
That's two.
I'm also childfree and 100% never married. For me, I'd rather be alone than in a marriage that isn't right. Plus marriage is just about the legal benefits to me
All of them, basically
Haha I approve
I'm trans, so I'm pretty effing glad I didn't become a man! Does that count?
100% you'd have done what society expected but you would never have been you
Im glad that I was rejected by my community, I wouldn't want to be accepted among awful bigots and transphobes.
Being excluded from the shallowness, grifting and misinformation is such a blessing in disguise.