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  • I’m going to meetup with a very handsome man later today; a hookup. He seems very sweet, and checks all of my boxes. I doubt it will go anywhere, but it feels nice to be desired, even if for a fleeting moment. ☺️

    I can see how this may be in conflict with my feminist values. But as most things, there is quite a bit of nuance. It may come across as me seeking validation from a man, and maybe that’s true. But I have needs, and he will hopefully fulfill them. I see it for what it is, an encounter, and an addition to my body count (ugh thanks patriarchy), which does not affect me at all. I am not defined by that. Clearly I think way too much about these things. 😅 That is the conflict.

    • tbh I'm not sure a social critique or movement like feminism makes sense to apply to individuals - it helps us understand the dynamics, but it's not like one person can somehow overcome those dynamics all by themselves ... what I'm saying is, you go girl ✨ 💅 😄

      • Thank you for your reply! I definitely see your point. Perhaps I have some perceived guilt from not standing by my ethos. But you’re right! I should probably get over myself here lol.

        what I'm saying is, you go girl ✨ 💅 😄

        Fuck yeah, thanks for the encouragement ☺️

    • I get that. I get the balance between knowing what we're "supposed" to think as feminists and how we actually feel Being desired is a good feeling, it's validation and it makes us feel good. It sounds like you're being really sensible and practical about the whole thing.

      • I’m trying to be more practical about things now. Especially as I put too much care and thought into what I was hoping would be the start of some relationship with a guy. His words were sweet which made me feel special, but his actions spoke more, and left me confused. “I miss you, and am excited to see you tomorrow”—forgets to set alarm and comes up with a weak excuse to not meetup? Something isn’t adding up. I decided to step back and see what he would do/say, and haven’t heard from him for a couple of days now. It made me realize that I don’t need to hope for something to come from what looks to be turning out to be nothing.

        Now I am looking at things in a more realistic way. I want to have fun; scratch the itch, so to say. And if something ends up developing past that, cool beans. If not, then at least I am not setting myself up to be let down.

22 comments