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JackGreenEarth @lemm.ee

2d ago

How ok would you be if teleported right now into a field in Peru in the 1300s with... (see description)?

A) Nothing, just totally naked

B) What you're wearing and anything you carry with you (even if you're not carrying it right now) like a bag

C) What you're wearing, what you carry with you, and the contents of your home (it will be teleported within a few hundred metres on the surface in an accessible location, but obviously won't be connected to any services like electricity or water)

79 comments

I've played enough RimWorld to know I wouldn't be totally ok in any of these scenarios.
All it takes is a random bug bite or infection and home meds just won't be enough.
- Lucky me I’ve actually got two different antibiotics my house right now lol Won’t keep me alive forever but will at least get me through a couple of bad ones most likely, which drastically increases my odds. Plus all the various things around my house I can use to clean and wrap wounds, emergency sealed water…
  Yeah it’s all limited, but I could survive a few nasty situations with some of the stuff at my house right now.
- Randy is in charge, be prepared to die from 1000 cat bites
- as long as you're okay doing a couple hundred warcrimes, you'll be fine

A. Dead. It's freaking Peru and I'm a tubby weakling from the swamps. The elements will strike me down.
B. Fine. I got an alpaca wool poncho so I won't be that out of place. I'll bring some survival books and a bug out bag.
C. New World Order. "Ok fellas you see all these funky looking codices on multiple shelves? Some of them have your future and the future of the peoples living on the continent north of you. See these maps, accurate to the finger length. All yours for the price of making friends with the altepeme around Lake Texcoco and killing anyone with my skin color immediately for the rest of time."
- Dj PeachCobbler?
  
  Nah but I've seen his videos. I'm a Mesoamerican history nerd (if you click on my profile you'll see Tezcatlipoca) and I do possess a few books about South America. If I'm going to be fucking up the timeline I'm sure as Hell going to be giving the aboriginals a heads up.

A) totally fucked
B) pretty fucked, but if the wildlife doesn't get me I might stand a chance
C) gonna be a learning curve but should be good to go really
- a) “I’ve always relied on the kindness of strangers”

The world is littered with the unmarked graves of explorers from the Age of Exploration who had: D) every piece of equipment that money could buy and experience could suggest.
The ones who survived being stranded in remote environments did so not by virtue of their possessions or preparations, but by throwing themselves on the mercy of the local inhabitants.
- Bit of a mixed bag here: Reading about some of Fridtjof Nansens expeditions is absolutely wild. These are people that wintered in the arctic without support, where no local population exists.
  The story I think is the wildest is when two guys got stuck on Franz Joseph's land for an entire winter, with minimal supplies. The following summer they began travelling towards land using kayaks they built, and were found by a British expedition.
  Besides being some awesome stories, I'm pointing this out to emphasise just how extremely resourceful and resilient some people can be. These guys survived for months, with very little resources, in conditions that can literally kill you in hours.
  Of course, in general, the best survival tactic is probably to try to find local populations and hope for help.
  
  Yeah—I was basing that claim on Joseph Henrich’s survey of expeditions in The Secret of Our Success: How Culture Is Driving Human Evolution, Domesticating Our Species, and Making Us Smarter.

If I have the contents of my home, then I probably have enough scientific knowledge in the form of books to start my own scientific revolution provided I can get enough people to listen to me.
- BURN THIS NERD!
- HERETIC!
- LOUD NOISES!!!
- SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER! SHUUUUUN! SHUUUUUUUUNNNNAH!
- Do you speak whatever language they spoke in Peru in the year 3000?
  Can you learn it before you become the main offering in a ritual sacrifice?
  
  Why would they start sacrificing people out of blue?

Dead Dead Dead
I have a kidney transplant and require medication to live.
- Bro, you should have thought of that before you went to Peru in the 1300s. Totally preventable.

A) I'm very resourceful and have formal wilderness training, but naked and completely foreign environs... Probably not going to do so well, especially if the weather is harsh.
B) Pretty well. My backpack is my bag of tricks and my daily loadout includes my multitool, an IFAK, some clothing layers, and two water bottles. But it's still going to be a challenge because of completely foreign environs.
C) Perfectly awesome, living my best life. My home is my sailboat with solar, 40000Wh battery storage, water makers, extensive first aid, dried food and spices, and more books, movies, and video games than I could possibly finish in my remaining years.
- C)
  If something you can't fix breaks ?
  
  Sure, I'm not going to be replacing any modern consumables or modern tech. And the LiFePO4 cells are ultimately going to wear out. The solar cells will lose generation capacity. But I'll probably be long dead before that capacity becomes a concern. Hopefully the hardcopy books don't get wet, because that's where I keep the stuff I don't keep in my head.
  That said, there's very little I can't fix on my boat. I did all of the work in my complete refit. If you know any open ocean sailors or sailboat delivery captains, we are a ridiculously resourceful bunch. Prepared AF. Kinda like the Eagle Scouts of the sea. Also, our gear is robust, resilient, and fault tolerant.
  We sit around and practice this shit. There's not much else to do out in the ocean. :D "Oh, your refrigerator compressor died." I've got a brand new, spare compressor and a second refrigerator; move the most critical foods accordingly. "The second fridge died." Immediately switch to non-refrigeration food preservation techniques. "You're running critically low on salt." Use the brine rejection from the watermaker. And so on. Because of all the interlocking dependencies on sailboats, we have failover modes all the way down to tarring the hull and weaving hemp lines. Okay, not that far, but you get the idea.
  
  Instant death
- You win.

A) Dead by dawn B) Dead in a month, probably from malaria or other local fauna, maybe from indigenous people C) Probably still dead by the end of the year from disease, but I do have a stockpile of food.
I'm not a survivalist, but I'm also not a meal planner, so having a bunch of canned and dried food makes throwing together meals easier. I have guns. A .308, and a guide gun, some handguns, which will be mostly useless. And a bunch of ammo, because for a few years I'd buy boxes of .308 on sales and bought way more than I shot; and I have everything needed to reload the guide gun because 45-70 ammo is damned expensive. So I could hunt and defend the house reasonably well, although indigenous peoples would still get me in the jungle if I left the house.
But, honestly, disease or wildlife would almost certainly get me sooner rather than later. No penicillin. Limited supply of pain medication, flouride. No knowledge of Peruvian wildlife outside of knowing that there are venemous animals and predators capable of taking humans. I don't speak native Peruvian, whatever the languages were 720 years ago, so I can't communicate with the natives. I don't know what's edible and what's poisonous, so unless I go full Keto, I'm going hungry. It would be absurdly presumptuous to believe I could last any amount of time.

A) totally fucked
B) totally fucked but I might live through the day
C) still totally fucked but I might become a hermit or something if I get really lucky.

I'd be fucked, I don't know how to camp and I don't speak any language that would be spoken then and there.

A) No, I like my jacket too much. Also I'd just die.
B) Also no. All I carry with me is phone, keys, wallet - all of which are useless on their own.
C) I think I'd like to give this a go. I have a couple of weeks of food in the house, I've got all my books. Kinda sucks not having electric once the batteries die - we have solar panels but they're on a shed roof so all I'd get to take is the batteries and inverter! I'd expect to find potatoes in Peru which I could recognise and know how to turn into food, plus I know (in theory) how to test which plants are edible. My main concerns would be not speaking the language and not having the right skin colour. But I often think about whether it would be fun to live in the wilderness in prehistoric times (or I guess 1300s Peru..) and if I get to keep my books too, that sounds great! I'd probably die in a couple of years, especially if I try to stay alone, but why not try it?

If I survive, can I finally get the title of Eagle Scout?

A. Dead within a day unless helped by a stranger
B. Probably still dead soon but at least I have clothes, I normally carry nothing of use
C. There is a chance I live long enough to learn how to survive with knives, a handgun, and some amount of food and drink. If I get the tools from my garage I guess I can build a makeshift shelter. Probably still a betting favorite to die within a week unless I can find and somehow ingratiate myself to some locals by giving them cool stuff.

I'll be okay with it. Dead soon obviously, but I wouldn't be too bummed.

A) Depends entirely on how long the locals put up with my uselessness. I might just die of diarrhea too, considering I have nil immunity to local germs and there's no sanitation.
B) My clothes are now the finest textiles on earth, and I carry a multitool. In some ways, it might actually be better if I was naked and pitiful. Maybe they'll take me seriously long enough that I can build something for them, or find a kind of type clerical work that they actually need. Or, maybe they immediately rob me, kill me and dispose of the body before the other pale giants show up.
C) Hmm, more interesting in a sense, although in many ways it's just a bigger version of the clothes problem. I couldn't really defend my house if they decide not to respect my ownership (and why would they? it was feudal times). And a whole building appearing from thing air is pretty much proof magic is afoot, which can go multiple ways.
If they decide to humour me, I could do serious work for them pretty much immediately. These are people who still do a lot of things with stone tools. I can also introduce them to some new crops.
- The diarrhea is going to be one of the biggest challenges. The differences is food, parasite/microbiota challenges... dehydration and acclimating to the local food supply are going to present problems.
  
  You'll probably be killed for washing your hands before eating or something.

A) Probably okay-ish? I was in the scouts and I'm not completely incompetent at being outdoorsy.
B) Overnight bag probably isn't much help. At least my breath will be minty.
C) Enjoy the new timeline removed, because I am now the 14th century's most powerful military.

To all the people in here saying "I could warn them and help them prepare to take on the conquistadores" while the sentiment is good, the conquistadores weren't the ones that wiped them out, it was smallpox and other diseases. So unless you can synthesize a vaccine, or just expose them to it then so they can recover population in a couple centuries, they're doomed no matter what.

I would travel as far and as long as I could before I died, exposing people to my germs and viruses so they have a stronger immunity when the Spanish arrive.

Totally fucked on all counts. I hope the indigenous Peruvians take me in as some kind of oddity. Although I don't want to start the spread of New World diseases early so maybe I'll go find a cliff or something. It'll be less painful.

Dead you introduce diseases and they introduce diseases from each other and you can't give them immunity. Almost like time travel is just 1/4 of time travel

I have a high-end compound bow, arrows, a few firewood axes, a hatchet, a european style two-handed sword (a proper, functional one), a proper battle axe (both are wall decorations), heaps of rice, canned foods, winter and summer clothing, backcountry gear for traversing and climbing, fishing gear, and a boatload of other useful things for outdoor survival. I even have flint and steel.
I also built and lived in a tiny home on the side of a mountain for 5 years. I chopped wood every day for 5 years and used that to keep myself warm in the winters. While I'm no longer living like that, it taught me that I could hack it (pun intended).
If going for option two and I had 30 minutes to prep before teleport, I'd grab a large bag, fill it with some summer and winter clothes, wool socks, a few bags of rice, a metal water bottle and a filter, a pan to boil water, two camp knives, a hatchet, axe. I'd sling my bow, make sure I was wearing good shoes, pants, and outerwear, a hat, and glasses.
If I got teleported right now? I'm barefoot wearing board shorts, a light linen shirt, and my skivvies. I'd be fucked.
- What is your sword? I have an Albion sharp that I've only cut with once.
  
  It's a Dark Sword Armory Danish two-hander. I love the shape, weight, and appearance. I also have a Vindaris from them that was a second - they sold it for $300 and I cannot for the life of me see what's wrong with the damned thing. :)

With all of them I'm at a real disadvantage due to not speaking any local languages, considering you basically need the locals for long term survival that puts one on the wrong foot to start off with.
Surviving A would require a lot of luck, B would be a bit more achievable as that would give me some clothes and a multitool but still very hard going as I know nothing substantial about the local bush food and dangers.
C is where I might actually have a chance as I have a lot of tools, camping gear, some food, and some books which might help (albeit nothing specifically on Peru except whatever's in the Encyclopaedia Britannica). Given luck I could probably manage solo for a while with this. What'd probably happen is the locals come along and make off with everything though so I wouldn't give good odds on long term survival.

I speak Spanish so I would be fine
- The first Spanish speaker to step foot in the area now known as Peru didn't happen until 1513, 200 years after this hypothetical arrival date for you.
  Do you speak Quecha?
  
  Yep, that's the joke
- I think the important part for you would be, "In the 1300s..."

Hmm.
Absolutely fucked
Still absolutely fucked
Ok for awhile I think. Until I was captured and killed for being some sort of impossible demon, or sacrificed as a prize because of unusual looks. Knives, tools to barter, rope, food. Nothing particularly good for hunting with.
- Eh, cut them some slack. When the Spanish showed up sitting on top of wild animals, covered in metal and on an impossibly, comically large boat, the Aztecs toyed with the idea it was something supernatural, but figured out it was just more assholes pretty quickly. In this scenario, you're merely weird-looking and unintelligible.

For C are the belongings in a cave or hut or just left outside in the rain?
I have a lot of books, clothes and things to cook with so that would be nice.

A) Assimilate with the local people and probably be fine. Eventually use my wide, but mostly shallow knowledge on many subjects to start a scientific revolution and try to repel the Spanish-colonial shithead christo-fascists.
B) Assimilate with the local people and probably be fine. With the help of my smartphone and multi-tool; use my wide, but mostly shallow knowledge on many subjects to start a scientific revolution that will hopefully help repel the Spanish-colonial shithead christo-fascists.
C) Assimilate with the local people and probably be fine. With the help of my smartphone, multi-tool, and various technology examples of the common era, start a scientific revolution that will likely help repel the Spanish-colonial shithead christo-fascists.
In any of these scenarios, I would try to warn people about the Spanish-colonial shithead christo-fascists that are coming to fuck their shit.

FFS, I knew I should have bought those solar panels last week.
Having said that, I'm toast, dead in a week if a Jaguar doesn't get me beforehand

A) Probably dead of heat or dead as I couldn't communicate with anyone B) I would have a translator and some clothes, books ,pen but nothing that useful C) I have a way to charge my devices and have the resources to become a magician.

I'm naked right now so all of these options leave me naked.

A) Completely fucked. Likely dead within days.
B) Less fucked than most I imagine. I do a lot of hiking (multiple times a week) and carry the 10 essentials in my bag, including a water filter. Food would be the biggest issue as I typically only have one meal and some snacks in my bag. I think it's doable though.
C) I think I'd be fine. I have enough food to last for months if I ration it and the knowledge, seeds and tools to grow a pretty robust heirloom garden. I also have water filtration and backups, as well as tents for shelter, solar rechargeable batteries for light at least until the panels and batteries degrade, and hand tools to build a more robust shelter. If the contents of my whole house came though the difficulty would be feeding my dog and cat, so we'd have to quickly start working on figuring out how to get meat regularly. I'd have about 2 months of food for them, but that would go quick. I am not readily equipped for hunting so I'd have to cobble together some snares. I have Wikipedia downloaded to an old Kindle and that would probably help in that department. I think in this scenario I'd be fine until disease got me. I have emergency antibiotics in my house though so I could at least survive a couple rounds of bacterial diseases.

Just give me A I'll live a few peaceful days until I eat something poisonous or something eats me.
- Or until you get speared by the native tribe.

At least with C I have a bunch of hand tools, camping gear, rope, life straws, water filters, medical kits, and alcohol. So I could feasibly live life as a hermit in a self built cabin.
A & B I’m totally fucked. I’ve watched all of Alone, I think I starve to death in weeks.
In all those situations I don’t speak any of their languages to defend or explain myself, so I’m fairly sure the locals will murder me.

Nice I can give them a 192 year heads up about their nasty neighbors across the ocean
- A heads up is not gonna save them from their real killers, smallpox, unless you brought it with you and give them a couple centuries to recover population and gain immunity.
  
  I’ll do my part with the locals—wait shit that’s what they did!

A) Play up my auspicious naked arrival as supernatural and attempt to live as the wisest person in the area. I’ll speak in Spanglish and mystify them!
B) The jig is up, I’m wearing a neon shirt so anyone in the area will spot me and wonder wtf I am doing staring at a little thing in my hand. I’d do the best a pocha can to speak the two or three words of Quechua I learned on vacation, then attempt to make their lives better, and educate them to the best of my abilities.
C) My partner and cats are coming too! Same as above but with the benefit of lots of science, tech, and medical books. I’d be so much happier to have my partner, cats, and my own hovel to retreat to.

Unlimited Rice Pudding
I'd be dead with zero preparation.

A) Fucked. B) Probably fucked, but give me the AR-15 in my closet and a backpack full of ammunition and we might have something to talk about. C) Other than the guns and ammo in my closet I can't think of anything in my house that would actually be useful.

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