Memes @lemmy.ml

1y ago

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Late Stage Capitalism @lemmygrad.ml

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I already don't eat breakfast and I'm still poor, what now WSJ???
- Economists hate this one SECRET HACK you can do to avoid poordom. Among investmentology specialists it is a well guarded secret that switching to a making money framework instead of the popular losing money framework has a long term net positive effect on your private economy.
  
  Of course, the answer was right in front of me! I just need to pull on those bootstraps harder
- Just eat once a week. Yuge savings
- Spare lunch?
- Have you tried photosynthesis?
- Find a way to eat negative avocado toast in the morning
- I think to save money you should skip dinner. Breakfast food is generally cheaper. Big breakfast at 10-11am. Late lunch at 4-5pm and a light dinner if hungry at night is more economical
- Time to go one meal a day
- Sleep for dinner

Of course this comes from the wall street journal lmao straight propaganda
- I'm not religious, but I do feel like writing something like this is comparable to selling your soul to the devil. The person who wrote this abandoned their humanity for capitalists and they should be ashamed.
  
  If they had the capacity to feel shame, I don't think they would have penned that article. Disgusts me how quickly people abandon humanity for a few schillings
  
  Not religious, but I do believe the author is pegged by the Mammon for lolz and profit
- Reminds me of the Forbes article about giving public libraries to Amazon.
  
  Lmao what the fucking hell. I hope that guy was let go by whatever college he "teaches" at. I put teaches in quotations because I hope they are drug testing that fucker. He took some flaka or something.
- that's the one Bezos bought?
  
  Murdoch owns WSJ, Bezos owns The Washington Post.
- I really thought this was satire until your comment.
  Who thought this was a good idea to publish...

My prescriptions cost so much too. Maybe I should just stop taking my antidepressants and see how it rides out. .
- "If you spiral into the grave, your cost of living goes down by 100%!" - some jackass at the wsj soon, probably
- Just take 'em every other day, as a treat!
  DON'T do this!
  
  what would actually happen if you did do this... say for money reasons

Tomorrow's headline, "Millenials are single handedly killing the breakfast industry".

Pro-tip: You can save money on living expenses if you just live in a cardboard box by the roadside and die.
- Please not by the roadside, noone wants to see your progress to absolute freedom.
- That’s illegal in many places. Illegal to be on a roadside, illegal to kill yourself.

“Instead of seeking happiness, save money with misery”
- Thank you, I’ve finally achieved Capitalist enlightenment! The secrets of capitalism are mine!
  
  I’m not ready for esoteric capitalism
- Struggling to get by? Have you tried forgoing basic needs of survival like food?
- " Instead of seeking happiness, save money on pussy" <-- what my GF read

The Wall Street Journal is just shitposting for rich people.

Aside from being tone deaf, I think this is bad advice. Common breakfast foods are fairly cheap comparatively and I'm pretty sure most nutritionists recommend eating something for breakfast to kickstart your metabolism. If I were skipping/reducing a meal, it would be lunch.
- Gluconeogenesis does that well enough.
  Plenty of people don't eat breakfast. I'll be nauseous for the rest of the day if I have anything before noon.
  
  Did I just find my people? I thought I was alone. Do I need to look that word up now fuck
  
  I’m the other way around, due to some of the medication I take. Gotta eat with it or I’ll have terrible stomach pains all morning.
  
  I only eat one real meal a day and supplement with light snacks and plenty of fluids. As long as that one meal is something of substance and not say, a ramen packet or something like that, I feel pretty good. There are people that do one meal a day with no other food intake at all, too, but that's a bit low for me.
  
  Wait, my condition has a name?
- Best I can do is add some more milk to my coffee.
- Hmm, lunch sandwiches are also pretty cheap compared to supper, maybe have lunch for supper then instead?
  
  Well that would just make supper dinner then wouldn't it?
  
  Have you seen the cost of deli meat lately?

Maybe we should eat billionaires instead
- That can't be sanitary. I mean, who knows what kind of drugs these people take, what kinds of places they have been. People get worried about eating animals that have been given antibiotics, so I can't imagine that billionaire-meat will get approved for human consumption any time soon. We should probably just euthanize the poor souls and recycle the remains... s
  
  We'll get sick either way, so better to just take the short pain.
  
  Turn them into soil. Put them in the ground.
- I feel quite hungry lately
- I could never eat human meat 😔
  
  True, Elon probably tastes like meth

To not get murdered, die right now...

Maybe the WSJ has a point; we could save a lot of money if we stopped buying breakfast and just ate the WSJ staff instead
- Foodborne illness 🤢

They act like most of us even have time to make breakfast like we're living in some 90's sitcom
- It's people like you that make me look like an asshole. Every morning I wake up at 3am to squeeze orange juice, make sausage gravy, biscuits, waffles, 5 omelettes, 40 pancakes, 6lbs of bacon, hash browns, buttered toast, and right after my son comes down the stairs, puts his ball cap on, grabs a single piece of bacon, heads out the door in a rush, I chase him down with a PB&J he inevitably always forgets. But it's not like I want to waste 40lbe of food per day. Some days I just want my son to sit down and eat the 40lbs of food I prepared. He may think I'm overbearing but I'm really overcaring.
  
  What intro was that from? I can't figure it out :-(

"We know life is Hard, but have you tried Ultra Hard by skipping the most important meal of the day and starting out famished?"
- Off topic but I don't think breakfast is any more or less important than a meal any other time of the day. Most days I only eat one big meal around dinnertime and maybe have a few bites of some snack throughout the day. I've been like that for years now it started from doing 12 hour construction shifts where I'd just work all day with a coffee and maybe an apple or something then eat a big meal once I was home. I don't do construction anymore but the way I eat stuck with me. It's probably worth pointing out that I'm very fit and a healthy bodyweight (5'10 152lbs) and I don't suffer any negative effects from living like this. I'd say I'm healthier than 90% of the people I know.
- the most important meal of the day bullshit was invented by america, fuckin milk lobby and shit somene else explain it I don't care enough to

If you don't have enough money for bread, buy cake instead!
- Great advice with almost no historical downsides, probably!

"And while you're at it, do you really NEED to sleep?"
- "In fact, do you even NEED a home? You can just sleep at work like a good little corporate slave! "
  
  might be funny until you know there are actually some people who do this.
- There's a webcomic about a world where almost no one sleeps anymore thanks to a new drug. And they work 16 hours a day.
  
  16 hours a day in a world where no one has to sleep seems wildly optimistic

I hope whoever wrote this trips in their bathroom and gets a severe brain injury.
- Man that's kinda fucked up, who knows if they'd survive getting another brain injury
- Can't get a brain injury if I have no brain...
  taps head
  
  I think something like "taps elbow" would be funnier.
- Same but for the editor who chose that headline
- News sites will do anything to get engagement and attention. ANYTHING.
- AIs don't have a bathroom, or even a brain.
  
  the person who greenlit this article for publishing does

I see they moved on from telling us not to have avocado to toast to just not have any toast.
- One more step and they'll move onto what they actually want us to do.

No need to skip meals, there's plenty of rich to eat

Your life is hard? Add malnourishment and see if that helps.

Maybe I should get more money and live a normal life yea?
- Have you tried not being poor?
  
  I try one day then I’m poor again.

nO bOdY iS bUyInG aNytHinG!!!!
- 17 industries that millennials are killing; #11 will make you shit in your own mouth in anger!

I already skip breakfast, gonna need additional money saving tips...
- No worries, I've got you. Skip lunch to save additional money.
  
  already did. now what
  
  How much additional do I save if was planning on having avocado toast?
- stick to low GI carbs perhaps, so it takes extra time to digest!
  also, drink water right before a meal. turns out brain is pretty shit at distinguishing thirst and hunger... you also get "full" by drinking water so you end up eating a bit less heh.

The headline is as valid as "just stop being poor"

Instead of planning for retirement, consider dying instead!
- That's my retirement plan! Murica! 🇺🇸😏🔫 🇺🇸
- Consider it? I've already accepted it
  
  RIP in peace

It's fun and games, but lately I've seen 2 colleagues eating from the office kitchen the leftovers of extra bread and cream cheese, instead of ordering. It's actually sad.
- Damn, I wish my break room had bread and cream cheese 😋
  
  you guys have break rooms in your offices?

Haha the poors should just eat less food! Problem solved!
- especially if we ate the rich instead!

Skip 1 meal to save money
Skip 2 meals to lose weight
Skip all 3 meals and end world hunger
It's just that simple.
- I think you're suppose to start a revolution after missing three meals. I think the people on wallstreet forgot that.

We need a Marx-as-Clippy emoji for "it seems that it may be time to improve society somewhat. Would you like help with that?"
- Ooh, perhaps also a George-as-Clippy emoji?
- Marx-as-Clippy recommends fixing spelling mistakes by deleting the document and starting over

To save even more money, switch over completely to a diet of things you find on the ground.
To save even more money, stop bathing, showering and brushing your teeth.
To save even more money, stop living in a house and move into the sewers.
To save even more money, stop wearing clothes.
To save even more money, stop communicating with expensive words, settling instead for grunting, growling and maybe barking like a dog. Consider filing your teeth pointy.
To save even more money, stop using tools. Emerge from your sewer hideout only at night to prowl the streets on all fours, feral and bewildered, eyes grown pale and milky from years in the dark sewers darting maniacally back and forth while your filth-encrusted teeth and nails twitch in anticipation of the slightest movement.
This is how I was able to afford a starter house by age 30. This and a $400 000 loan from my father.

Yeahh intermittent fasting bro 💪 /s
- This but unironically. Pretty good life choice lol, regardless of what the reason is.
  
  Just gotta make sure you also excersize so your muscles don't atrophy.

I thought this was a joke, but no, it's real.

Just richest country in human history things

Save money and lose weight with this one easy trick.

i wish poverty diet actually made it easier to stay in shape
instead i just have an eating disorder from chronic food insecurity

No funds? Have you considered refraining from eating as a means of saving money?
- Think of all the weight you can lose while saving money!

I mean, intermittent fasting is legit but not to save money... Ffs...
- You skip breakfast for weight management.
  I skip breakfast because im too poor to eat.
  straightens tie
  We are mot the same
  
  Maybe you could afford breakfast, if you would spent less on your fancy attire!
  
  This does mot make sense

: "The WEF wants me to own nothing and be happy!"
: "You will own nothing and be happy."
: "Oh sorry, of course I will own nothing. There is nothing wrong with literally everything being a luxury good. Hell, make me work for free. Porky knows what's good for all of us!"
- just a reminder that the US just voted no to stating that food is a human right lmao
  
  The only other country to not vote in agreement was Israel.
  They abstained from voting.
  The US literally is the only country that voted against it.
- Sure, because that's exactly how they would respond. Your hatred of the working class is palpable.

If the article matches the clickbait title, fuck anyone involved with it being written and published.
If the article doesn't match the clickbait title, fuck anyone involved with it being written and published for using a clickbait title like that.
If the article is published in the wall street journal, fuck everyone involved with that toilet paper disguised as news organization.
- I remember that paper had an article or op-ed on a subject that is close to my heart and my father was a subscriber. When we discussed whatever it said (this was years ago), I was lamenting to him that they had absolutely no idea what they were saying. Completely off base. They're probably accurate about how to increase existing wealth, but likely not much else.

Humans can live without food for up to 2 months, so to save even more money, just eat food every 1 month and 29 days!
- You'll be a billionaire in seconds!

angry Hobbit noises
- It's ok we still have the 2nd, 3rd and 4th breakfast.

I’d expect nothing less from Rupert Murdoch's little periodical.

To save more money, stop eating lunch and dinner
- Why even bother? Just stop eating
- Just ascend into a being of pure energy
  
  This is what boomers unironically believe.
  :"Don't like climate change? Just ascend to godhood and create your own planet, you nosy busybodies need to learn to live and let live! Muh freedumz!"

What about second breakfast?
- Elevenses?

Clickbait headline for a boring article 😪
- "Save money by avoiding expensive foods."

I read it as monkey, and it didn't make any sense.
- You need less monkey if you skip breakfast. What's not to understand?
- "I'm holding your monkey hostage. If you can go one week without eating breakfast, I will return him unharmed."
  
  Jokes on you I technically skip breakfast for several weeks now, if breakfast is only eaten in the morning. Now, I want monkey in my office until lunch, unharmed.

Here's a nice (non-paywalled) breakdown of the original article and reactions to it. I just managed to get the first few sentences of the WSJ thing (despite disabling Javascript), but between the article and the breakdown, it seems the author picked a baity title to an otherwise uncontroversial (if lacking) analysis of food price inflation.
- Journalists don't write their own heds. It would have been an editor who wrote it. Your point stands otherwise.

Does Texas not refrigerate their eggs?
- Americans refrigerate eggs?
  
  Yes. If I understand correctly, it's because the eggs are washed, which strips them of their natural protective coating and causes them to require refrigeration.
  
  Non-Americans don't refrigerate eggs?
  
  I (UK) also do this. Makes them last longer. Do the same with most fruit and veg.
  They're not refrigerated in the supermarket though.

Greatest country in the world

Maybe fuck that, the stores should take a hit so we can eat.
- Like, why even have a government, if it can’t feed, clothe, and house the people? Shouldn’t that be priority #1?
  
  I agree 100%

"If you want to save money, give up your avocados and lattes. Move into a large beer cooler and make soup out of fallen leaves"-Wall Street Journal's advice next probably.

The masses lack bread? Let them go on a "diet"

218 comments