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18 comments
  • Maybe not smoking so much weed might help with this.

    I quit smoking weed after I had been looking for my phone under the bed for half an hour - using the flashlight of my phone.

  • One time when my kids were little I was at Walmart and I suddenly realized I didn't know where my son was and he was just little. So I was like, oh my god, where's Buddy? Where's Buddy? Where's Buddy? And he busted up laughing because I was fucking holding him.

    Insomnia does weird things to you.

18 comments