6d ago

Me want cookie

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52 comments

Those cookies don't hunt themselves
- This has got to be the most relevant comment. You've demonstrated the advantage of having the eyes on the top of the head with a delightfully relatable image.
  
  I’m 99% sure Cookie Monster hunts cookies like a crocodile in many episodes too
  
  I'm ecstatic to hear that! I will give you eleventy billion imaginary Tooth points if you can find a source.
  
  Also demonstrated the placidity of the prey species (cookies) being oblivious to the threat and just doing their own thing.
  I’m using this as a citation now. You can’t stop me.
  
  The Wild Bite: Chronicles of a Cookie Hunter
  [Scene opens on a lush, crumb-laden suburban living room. A dramatic orchestral swell rises as the camera pans to reveal a large, blue, furry creature crouching behind a toy chest.]
  DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): In the heart of the domestic wilderness, on the edge of a temperate biotic zone known colloquially as “the living room,” we encounter a most peculiar apex predator: Monstrum biscotti, commonly known as the Cookie Monster.
  [Camera zooms in on Cookie Monster, his googly eyes twitching erratically in every direction.]
  DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): Evolved for maximal mastication, this creature’s diet consists almost exclusively of a singular, elusive prey: Biscotus chipicus, or the common chocolate chip cookie.
  [Cut to a plate on the kitchen counter. A dozen warm cookies glisten in the light.]
  DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): Each specimen, a delicately baked blend of sugars, fats, and theobromine-rich morsels, serves as both sustenance and obsession for our shaggy subject.
  [Cookie Monster slowly emerges, dragging himself across the carpet with exaggerated stealth.]
  DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): Observe the hunter’s approach—lumbering, agile, and inevitable. His strategy relies not on speed, but on surprise.
  [Cut to the cookies. One, resting on the edge of the plate, wobbles ever so slightly.]
  DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): The Biscotus chipicus is defenseless—its only evolutionary recourse being brittleness. It cannot run. It cannot hide. It can only crumble.
  [Cookie Monster rises, eyes fixated. A low growl builds in his throat.]
  COOKIE MONSTER: COOOOOKIEEEE!!!
  [He lunges. A flurry of crumbs explodes into the air. Cookie Monster devours with primal ecstasy, bits of cookie raining from his maw like edible shrapnel.]
  DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): With alarming efficiency, the predator consumes his quarry.
  [Cookie Monster slumps to the floor, sated. A single chocolate chip rests on his chest.]
  DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): And so concludes another cycle in this majestic, crumb-filled ecosystem. The hunter rests… until the next scent of freshly baked prey stirs his wild, monstrous soul once more.
  
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  In my mind. I believe you came up with this without Ai help and that’s what I’m here for. Koodos.
  
  I appreciate your benefit of the doubt. As it is, this is AI generated. I did have to edit it a lot. Admittedly, my writing gets a little better as I replace more and more of the AI results I request. Still, I figure it's best to live a slightly honest life and label these things for what they are.
  
  This reads like an AI comment...
  
  Thanks! Since it's become apparent that AI and bots are getting better at blending in, I figure I better learn to hide among them for when they take over. Beep boop.
  
  Haha, that's a good strategy!
  I mean bleep bloop bzzz 🤖 I like breathing air

52 comments