What is something good you did or regularly do when nobody is watching?
The Japanese have this term "intoku (陰徳)" which roughly translates to good deeds done in secret. What are some examples of intoku in your own life? Doesn't matter even if it's something minor like picking up trash.
I preload one or two gumball machines with quarters at the laundromat for nosy bored kids stuck there with their parent. I was that bored kid once, and now I'm at a place where I can give back a bit... I'll also try to win toys at the claw machine and leave them in the bottom, but the success rate is bad.
Fyi the claw machine is literally a scam. The owner gets to set how often it will give a prize. Skill is essentially not involved at all. You'd do much much better buying a toy at a dollar store and just putting it into the win chute
Epic! That's so cool
Prob a ton of other little things I can't remember. Thanks for making this post!
I'm so glad I'm not the only one that upvotes people being down voted for their opinion - provided it isn't hurtful to others. I don't want to find myself in an echo chamber, so I feel it's important for other opinions to be thrown into the ring.
Exactly. And usually if I am replying to another comment later, I can see that balance has been restored by others doing the same :)
Contributing to open street map. I have mapped over 400 benches that I won't sit on.
I just like an idea that someday someone will ask a map "where is a closest bench?" And it will just show it.
Most things I don't help in secret tho.
I need this but for bathrooms, along with a quality ranking
that I won't sit on
Because they're dirty or something?
I have mapped over 400 benches that I won't sit on.
Thank you for your service!
I know a few trails that I'd like to add to Open Street Maps because they're not included but I don't know how to do it. Can anyone do it or do I need to be verified in some way first?
Just like Wikipedia, Opens Street Map can be edited by anyone. You just need an account.
There are multiple editors to use but most beginner friendly are iD that can be used on openstreetmap.org under the button "Edit" or Street Complete that can be installed on your smartphone.
also check out !openstreetmap@lemmy.ml if you have any questions.
If someone's card declines I act like absolutely nothing happened and let them have their purchase for free. (Inflight drinks and snacks)
This is beautiful. I always bring candy for flight staff when I'm on a plane. Not an unseen kindness, but it makes everyone happier.
There's an outdoor cabinet in my neighborhood that is used as a food bank. I fill it to the brim weekly with shelf-stable food. I was formerly homeless and know what it's like to go hungry, and I work hard to ensure that no one in my neighborhood has to go to bed hungry.
one time years ago i paid for the guy behind me at McDonald's. he then proceeded to follow me all the way home to thank me. i haven't done it again. lpt: if someone does that for you, just fuckin pay it forward so you don't scare the crap out of a 21 year old.
now I'm a school custodian and i go out of my way in little ways, like watering/turning plants in the classrooms, etc. I'm not sure if they notice but it makes me feel good ☺️
In my case, a lot of it comes from my mountain biking hobby. I like doing unauthorized trail maintenance - sawing fallen trees off the path, laying logs over streams and mud pits so I (and others) can cross with dry feet. In winter, I sometimes ride the same trail back and forth multiple times so my fatbike tires can flatten the snow, which then freezes overnight into a perfect surface for dog walkers to walk on.
In my job, I occasionally spend my own time improving something beyond what the customer is paying me for.
At my gym, I always fill the water bucket in the sauna for the next person.
Once I also bought the supplies and fixed a hole in a fence that's meant to keep moose and deer from walking onto the highway.
On hiking trails, I move rocks and branches, and fix drainage at water bars. Tiny improvements which make the trail easier for all who follow.
In my neighborhood, I pick up trash. Usually I go until I have filled a grocery bag, about 30 minutes. Though people do notice it so it’s only partly secret/anonymous.
Does donating blood count?
I'd say yes, the nurses are not that impressed and the people who receive your blood will never know.
Only if you don't then post about it on social media
I'm more curious about donating cum
TIL men can do that.
Reading through these, some seem self- serving in a way, although still good deeds.
I was going to say that I write a bunch of OSS, but that's mostly selfish since I use everything I write. It's the "scratching the itch." I will rarely write something that I have no intention of using myself. The most selfless aspect of this is that there are a few distributions that I also maintain the packages for - again, for stuff I write, and a couple of them are not distros I use. But when I introspect about this, am I doing it in the true spirit of intoku, or am I secretly hoping this will encourage others to use my software and thereby increase my mana? Is it ultimately self-serving?
I snow-plow the sidewalk in front of my house; the HOA requires it, so although I'd do it anyway, I get no karma. I also plow in front of my neighbor's house, so that he doesn't have to if he's not feeling it. I suppose that counts, although he knows who's going it. OTOH, I used to do the neighbor's sidewalk on the other side, but after two years and not a single recognition or "thanks," I stopped. So I guess it's not true intoku after all.
I pick up trash and bin it when walking through the city if it's convenient - even that's because it makes my experience nicer. Plus, there's the tiny dopamine reward of doing the right thing that can't be discounted.
Nope. I can't think of a single, truly selfless thing I do that isn't in some way self-serving.
I doubt that a truly selfless act of charity exists. Even if you're just giving money away anonymously you're still probably feeling good about it and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. That's not really what my question was about.
Agreed.
Feeling good about oneself shouldn't be guilted.
Oh, ok. I've been binging The Good Place, which is making me think about these things.
I do wonder what connotations intoku has for the Japanese. There must be boundaries, where some things qualify and some things don't. I get a tax break for charitable giving; it's still a net loss, b/c the tax break doesn't recover very much of the donation, but... is that intoku? Does the fact that my neighbor sometimes snowblows my sidewalk if he gets to it first make it transactional - is it still intoku? And the very definition you quoted: "when no-one is watching" - does the fact that I know that he knows it's me doing it make it not intoku?
I'm really curious about the word and what boundaries the Japanese would put around is/not intoku. Or is it like trying to define "art" - it's impossible, really.
Epicurus has entered the chat.
I don't think it counts as "nobody watching" since many people saw it technically, but I will often pull over to ask if people on the side of the highway need help as long as I'm not running late for something.
I helped a Hispanic guy recently change his tire since he apparently misplaced his lug nut wrench and he had a blowout. I let him use mine and I topped off the air in his spare that was a little low. Took me a little while to figure out what he needed since he didn't speak a word of English and I failed Spanish 3 times, but we got there using Google translate, hand signals and grunts haha.
I do it because I hope that if one day I was stranded on the side of the road (and somehow without all the tools I always carry around) that someone would be nice enough to stop and offer assistance.
Be the change you want to see in the world n all that.
I put the toilet seat and lid down.
I park as far away as possible from the store (always to find someone parked right beside me upon return), and will grab a stray shopping cart if there's one.
I live at a beach. I walk it at first light and p/u trash.
I wonder if in a parking lot some people like to park next to an already parked car because it helps them get in between the lines on the first try. So you might be helping someone even though you didn't know it!
I don't get your first two, what does putting the toilet lid down achieve ? and why park specifically far away from the store ? is it so that other people get to park closer ? so you can get some exercise ?
Pick mah nose.
When get one of those long ass side boogies it feels like removing a nail from your foot.
Maybe doesn't count for this thread, but I love donating supplies to local school rooms, because I sometimes get hand-drawn thank-you cards.
I've put those hand-drawn thank-yous in a drawer to be specially part of my kid's inheritance - as a reminder for them of what really matters in life.
donations to trevor project
I pick up trash on the trails, creeks and rivers. All my outdoor bags are pre-loaded with rolled up grocery bags. I'm almost always alone, but the lengths I'll go to to snatch a beer can drives my wife and kids a little nuts.
One time we stopped the canoe under a railroad trestle and the kids saw all the garbage.
"Daddy! Don't go get all that!" LOL, like it would have fit onboard.
My wife seems to have had a change of heart. Last time we were on the creek she kept pointing out possible litter.
"What is this? Go there." (Her English is a little strange.)
which roughly translates to good deeds done in secret.
It seems like posting what I do would violate the intent of "intoku" and it would thereby no longer be a "when nobody is watching".
I'm won't disclose what I do. However, I'll say that by not taking credit for any of my positive actions, it lets society take credit for the actions. It means someone doesn't have to have me or someone like me in their lives, but rather all of us will help you. The person that did the small thing or the hero that saved you from ruin could be right next to you in line at the grocery store. I want everyone to have that feeling that some rando will have your back when you need it in some minor or major way.
The only way that happens is if I never talk about what I do to help. Thats a very small price to pay if it means someone else gets to feel the comfort of knowing others care about them.
I'd say that confessing a good deed anonymously online barely violates the intent of intoku. You don't really get any credit for it because nobody will remember.
I take a loose cart from the lot if one is nearby as I go into the store. I used to have a dog that was pretty good off leash and would have the claw poop grabber and a bucket and would grab any other discarded things as I walked around a park. I was actually a bit conflicted as I could not seperate recyclables and it would all go in the trash but still felt that was better than strewn around the park. Unfortunately my current dog is not that well behaved (and sometimes I had to stop when someone complained about my off leash dog as then I did not have two hands free to casually work the claw and bucket and would instead have to combine them in one hand). I live in a condo complex and my neighbors and I get each others mail. I am always really on the lookout for things I can do that are really convenient that help or improve a place. I hate facebook but get on it to tell folks its slippery on the sidewalks or whatnot.
I donate to charities, mostly ones that pertain to researching serious medical conditions that currently do not have a cure.
I pick up dog poop left by dogs other than mine. And I do it in the name of comnunism and the end of monarchy.
Last week I pulled a piece of shredded truck tyre off the road.
It was a remote 110km/h road, on a corner down a hill.
I saw a road-train pulled over on the opposite side of the road, and then 30 seconds later we passed the chunk of tyre in the middle of the opposite side of the road.
Pulled the car over, put on my hi-vis vest from the back door, and walked back 300m to pick up the 5kg-1m long tyre chunk and throw it off the road. (Its very still and quiet, you can listen out for any traffic before stepping on the road)
I've stopped previously on a remote dirt road to throw a tyre off from a lane, 5 years ago.
It is just something you would not want to see, coming around a corner at speed. They can damage cars, cause people to swerve, etc. Not fun.
I don't murder all the time when no one's around to notice. You're welcome to everyone.
To do good when nobody is looking and to not pride yourself or adknolwedge that you do it is very close to the concept of 'real virtue'. False virtue is what most practice, doing good things to feel morally superior, or to brag about it on social media to look good in the eyes of others, or to earn brownie points with their god for a personal paradise afterlife as a reward, any good that these people do are not truly virtuous.
Anyone sharing their feel good stories here would be practicing false virtue out of definition. A truly good and virtuous person wouldn't even recognize themselves picking up the trash or voulenteering the homeless shelter as 'good' actions or themselves as good people for doing them.
Anyone sharing their feel good stories here would be practicing false virtue out of definition
This is an anonymous board, though...
as 'good' actions or themselves as good people for doing them.
What is wrong with "good" simply meaning that we believe the world would be a better place if other people did it, too? Common sense does not necessarily equate to some kind of sense of moral superiority.
To share these things anonymously doesn't necessarily equal bragging and can inspire other to do similar things. I think keeping those things to yourself can be more about you feeling superior about keeping it "real virtue", when you could do more good by sharing. Sometimes it's better to be practical about things.
Why would I care about being "truly virtuous" when false virtue can be just as helpful? Like, it can be annoying if you brag about doing a good thing, but it doesn't change the fact that you still did a good thing.
Masturbation.