IT WAS BAD Y'ALL.

Welp, ICYMI [in case you missed it] Trump just had a goddamned meltdown, hollering while he tried to shake down Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy for Ukraine’s minerals like a bully trying to take a kid’s lunch money. Trump was hoping to declare FLAWLESS VICTORY and ART OF THE DEAL over Ukraine’s mineral rights, but tough shit! Zelenskyy left there without signing any deal, not even a face-saving Canada/Mexico kind of one, and apparently nothing was achieved other than Trump threatening to abandon Ukraine and looking like a dick idiot in front of the world. What else is new?

Here’s the full 45 minutes, if you want your eyeballs to melt into your brain. And here’s a transcript for HOLY SHIT.

Quick backstory, when Ukraine gave up the world’s third-largest collection of nuclear weapons in 1994, it was because Russia agreed to stay the fuck out of there and not engage in economic coercion, and the US, UK, and France agreed to come to Ukraine’s aid if Russia didn’t stick to that agreement. But in 2014, Putin declared the deal void, occupied Crimea, and Russian-backed separatist forces began fighting to take the Donbas in Ukraine, too. But the Russians were unsuccessful, and negotiated a ceasefire through the Minsk agreements of 2014 and 2015. However, a Pooty promise is worth jack and shit, and Russia began that full-scale invasion of Ukraine three years and four days ago.

So today Zelenskyy met with Trump, flanked by pile of asshair JD Vance. Trump started off by being a demeaning asshole as soon as Zelenskyy stepped out of the car: “Oh look. He’s all dressed up today!” (He doesn’t seem to have minded when Elon Trump showed up to preside over his Cabinet meeting dressed in a “Tech Support” T-shirt and trucker cap.) It was all downhill from there.

A reporter asked Trump if he was too aligned with Putin. Because yeah, claiming that Russia did not invade Ukraine and that Zelenskyy is some kind of dictator sure sounds like Putin is attached to Trump’s brain like some kind of space slug, even if a few days later Trump denied he said it. (“Did I say that? I can't believe I said that. Next question.”)