"It just crashed pls fix"
"It just crashed pls fix"
Linux users don't trust telemetry, but sending useful information first try is hard too.
Cx. Urgently please do the needful. Website broken to fix. Urgent please
Me. Really the website? Which one? on which server? What was the error?
Me sir that's a dns error you let your domain registration lapse and now you have no dns
Cx fix now
Me .....
Cx Oh wow bad service, I'll sue you, you'll all lose your jobs, I'll destroy your life, your marriage, place Legos in front of your bed every morning
I understand sir. Clearly you're losing millions of dollars in revenue on the site that you barely pay us anything for as it's our smallest most discounted plan. I can see the site has only recorded a few hundred hits per month mostly bot crawlers. It is clear to me this is a matter of life and death requiring my full attention and bandwidth of thought. Indeed a fool. I would be if I did not escalate you directly to my boss's boss's boss to get you the best service possible for your DNS issue.
Heh... I had a fun one yesterday (yes yesterday).
During the week they had a feature request to disable the "duplicate" warning on certain pages for entries that are invalid. We already do it on some pages simply for testing reasons (000000000 is always invalid but still accepted as dummy/test data)...
Yesterday: "We missed this duplicate because we instructed the user to put in the specifically invalid entry. We're out a few hundred dollars now. Can we bill you for that?"
All I could do was copy and paste from the old email that it was literally their own request. Basically a nice "Pound sand".
But to have the gall to request a feature change... Then to turn around and threaten to bill us for your dumb decision? Get the fuck outta here.
That kind of bug report usually comes from a windows user.
I'm stealing this to send to people who make bug reports with no logs.
Or better yet, they are using a ancient version on a EOL distro
Even worse, they use a distro that senselessly repackages your stuff but does it wrong so you get flooded with bug reports.