JPMorgan Reportedly Ending Remote Work For More Than 300,000 Employees
JPMorgan Reportedly Ending Remote Work For More Than 300,000 Employees
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/35415297
Oh look, another soft layoff…
God I love returning to the office just to jump on zoom calls.
My manager asked me why I expensed a $500 headset and told him it's because I'm on the phone all day and want one that's more comfortable.
He asked me for the model and he bought one as well.
But at least I get free* coffee
2 cup maximum. Additional coffees will be deducted out of my paycheck (JK but sort of not really)
Well don’t leave us hanging, what was the headset?
Oof. My company overpaid. Oh well.
You get free coffee? We have to buy our own machine and run a "coffee club" to pitch in for ongoing costs. I opt to instead nod off at my desk. I don't even care that it's an open office and that people can see me.
So, how many employees remove JPMorgan from their workday and choose a different employer?
Likely quite a few, which is the point of the entire exercise.
Which is fucking stupid, because you lose the good talent and get left with the ones who can't find a place that treats them better. But then again, it's just standard modern day capitalism trying to make the line go up for another quarter, no matter the long term detriment.
When I was there they implemented "high efficiency seating". Fuck that environment, I hope they lose a ton of talent.
I retired from programming because of that "open floor plan" shit, with the added bonus of no permanent desks. It's so insane to inflict that bullshit on programmers in particular, because our productivity (or mine at least) requires a quiet, distraction-free environment.
On call all day? Better gave that person commute an hour each way to site in chair alone.
Companies need to embrace remote work and reduce the foot print. I imagine the buildings cost more than the staff.
That's why RTO. All that corporate real-estate going to waste.
Didn't amazon basically say under the table that this is how they try to lay off people without doing it themselves?
Goodbye talent!
J P Morgan was sort of one of the worst humans in recent history.
I mean, the real reasons have nothing to do with productivity since productivity actually increased with remote and hybrid work. The real reason is they aren't doing as well as expected, partly due to some recent problems, and have a many investments in commercial real estate and they need a boom to make some quick profit for shareholders.
Oh, and to appease Elan...
OIC, it's time for them to fuck around and find out
They actually pay 300,000 people? Are these AIs they made up for some tax reason?
The title is misleading, they have 300k total employees. 60% already are required to work in the office. They are making it 100% now.
