how's your week going, Beehaw

Happy fuckin holidays mfs

Rough 😔 customers are huge removed. So you don't care enough about Christmas to shop in advance, but you care enough to yell at me??

I just find this season depressing, I don't know. I've seen shipping out so many candies and electronics made by slave labor while the radio sings about peace and love. Most of these tacky plastic trinkets are going to landfills or the ocean. Most of these companies are complicit in genocide, or other violence against the global south. I want to do something radical but I've seen other people of my status martyr themselves and change nothing.

I know I'm a downer and my friends are tired of it. I was turned away by my first choice of a therapist, my second choice doesn't work on either of my days off, and the only other therapist available through my job wanted me to sign a really sketchy contract. 😐

I really can't wait for Christmas to be over. I know it won't fix the world, it'll just make it easier for me to ignore the world, and I know that's bad. But I'm only making the world worse by being a downer about it.

My wife and I hosted Christmas this year. Least drama Christmas ever due to excluding a certain someone. Also, wife wanted to do a prime rib, first prime rib she tried and she absolutely knocked it out of the park. Perfectly seasoned, and so perfectly cooked that most people were cutting it with the side of their forks. Also, she did a couple amazing raspberry cheesecakes.

Bad, we aren't a fan of this time of year mostly due to the obligations and expectations forced upon us, it is also cold and we have to spend time with bigots.

We are running into a lot of frustrations both with media and people also recently and just wonder why things cannot be better already.

• Starting to learn Japanese !! The first hiragana I learnt were あ and の; progress is steady. Manga is incredibly more fun, now that I can parse some ideophones.

• Family visited for Xmas. As I only had met 3 out of the 9 people that came over, I was quite anxious. This house has not had visitors during the holidays for over a decade. Everything has been surprisingly chill; I'd even dare saying they're welcome next year !!

• I created another tiny notebook out of old tickets (y esta vez incluso forrado !! uwu). Vivan los mamotretos.

• Cagamos al tío !! Quite cathartic on one end, and a fun jingle on the other. Love my friends.

Meri Kirihimete e te whānau 🎄 About to pop the prezzies under the pōhutukawa and get the cinnamon scrolls started. This year, i made my daughter a new princess dress with a matching one for her goose doll and a doll that looks like our cat.

The reality that I'm moving in six months is really starting to hit. I still think it's the right decision, but all of the incoming logistical and emotional uncertainty that's accompanying it is becoming very uncomfortable.

I've been unimpressed with the Christmas holidays since leaving my first job as a grocery store worker as a highschool student. My family has finally stopped buying me presents except for my mom who insists on buying me some sort of useless novelty item that's functionally impractical. Last year it was a bulky multi-tool pen that was too heavy to write with... Capitalism really sucks the humanity out of everything, especially the holidays.

Not too excited about the family dinner together. My parents and sister will spend the day talking constantly at and over each other while I'll be mostly mute, answering yes/no questions occasionally. I just don't have the energy anymore to correct all thier wildly incorrect assumptions and unnecessary views they have about me based on the useless labels they've applied to me.

The brain has been highly uncooperative over the past weeks but over the last week I've made a lot of progress on a local community project I'm working on. I have most of the groundwork prepared. I've also got a good starting point and mostly clear direction for it as well.

I'm in the process of learning how to self host a lemmy instance. I'm hating every moment of it but I'm making progress. It'll be worth it in the end. After I set up a proper community page I'll be ready to start promoting the idea locally.

I'm still considering creating a related community on another instance. I'm trying to craft this project in a way that is easily accessible and adaptable to the needs of any local community.

At the speed I'm going, and with all the holidays here, I'm hoping to be ready within the first couple weeks of January.

Weird, but not overly bad. Still burnt out from last semester and can't believe that it's already been a week in for winter break. Time passing has been a relief and a stressor, with me contemplating how to best use my time when most of it has been used up by me constantly napping... at least so far.

Met up with two friends. One is gonna be my coworker soon, and we really got along! Hung out for about eight hours chatting... He might be in charge of me and the rest of the interns though, so we'll see how our hangouts go in the future. We plan on hiking before he has to return to work.

Christmas has been interesting. My parents made a croissant filled with Nutella and sausages. Random quips and complaints thrown about. No big fight though, so that's nice. We almost had no gifts because my mom was worried about money, but decided to shop the day before Christmas Eve since I was going out anyway to meet my friend. I reminded her about my wishlist (the third or fourth reminder) because I didn't want her to randomly buy me clothes that I would never wear for the umpteenth time.

I'm beginning to think that I need to slowly take over the cooking and baking in this household. And driving. And cleaning. I mean, it's a household of adults and aging parents. I want things to get better, but I need to create a plan with my siblings — which won't be happening soon, because everyone is having their own struggles with depression and finances. .-.

I didn't mean to make this existential. But Christmas is my reminder of the good and bad times with family. I hope to have a Christmas that reminds me of why I used to love this holiday... I'm trying to make the best of this break without letting my worries get to me.

Edit: I forgot to add in the midst of my rambling. Happy holidays, everyone! I hope y'all are doing well and/or are making it through this time of year.

Going through the holiday motions until I finally get some time for myself.

I'm making a dessert for dinner at my parents today, gonna try to not address any of the family drama or instigate more of it. Although I'm sure the others wouldn't describe it as drama but rather 'just how we talk to each other'. Anyway, day after will be dinner at my wife's dad which is luckily always comfy and unproblematic.

Then finally time to rest 😴

Last week, I got to see a prescreening of the Sonic 3 movie. Then I got a cold that I think is now the flu.

Making the effort to be the upbeat Christmassy one for the benefit of the rest of the family today. We'll see how much social battery I'm left with by the end of it!