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Need help learning how to read books again

I used to be an avid reader, but years of high school and depression completely ruined that. I haven't been able to complete a novel since senior year six years ago. It's frustrating to me and I want to know how I can overcome my lack of focus and anxiety. I've heard I'm not alone when it comes to this sort of thing at least.

E: I wasn't expecting so many replies. Thank you, all of you, for the ideas.

46 comments
  • In my personal experience, when I do a lot of quickly rewarding things, the pace of my life speeds up. Drastically. It's something that takes weeks to recover from. For example, whenever I hit the road for a few months, away from my computer, using my phone for only a couple hours a day, I find this peace. It's not the sort of peace you feel when you're just chilling during the day. It's lasting peace, on a large scale. And I read a lot when I'm out there. But as soon as I return home, I return to my computer, and suddenly, life is full of opportunities for instant rewards (dopamine) again. And then I lose the patience for the slower and greater dopamine sources. It's like, why would I want to wait hours to receive a lot of dopamine, when I could just have a little bit now, and a little bit then, and a little bit later. It takes willpower. You need to take a step back from the daily rush, especially involving your phone and social media, and YouTube and stuff.

    It will require willpower, because the change will not be instant. Going outside and basking in the breeze is one of the easiest ways for me to just slooow down. Try meditation too. Just sit there, thinking of nothing (or if you have to, think about your breathing, or even think about thinking about nothing), and feel your body relax. You do not need to be doing things all day every day. Boredom can even be your friend. Learning to become one with nothingness is how you're going to start reading again. Be patient, and commit to things without expecting instant gratification.

  • tldr; stopped forcing myself to read + cut social media habit + cheated

    I used to be a voracious reader too, then clinical depression hit, followed by anxiety and my reading habit dropped. I'd still buy books intending to read them, and they'd just go unread. I'd see my increasing pile of interesting yet unread books grow larger and that'd stress me out more while making me feel like a failure. Which would just depress me even more. It was quite a cycle.

    Therapy helped me realize some patterns..

    I realized that whenever i tried to force/ guilt myself into doing anything, I just ended up resenting myself which sent me into a self-hating depressive cycle. So I gave myself permission to not read if I didn't feel like it. It removed all pressure, guilt, resentment, and any negative emotion I had towards myself for not doing something that I thought I should be doing. Which also boosted my mental health.

    I realized that my social media habit interfered with my reading as it lowered my attention span. Plus seeing the world going to hell in a handbasket worsens my anxiety and depression. So I broke that habit. The only way I could do it was by forcing myself to go offline. Took a few tries to get it right but I realized that I naturally gravitated to books when I didn't have social media to go to. I now have monthly SM detoxes where I avoid SM for an entire week, which has also helped my mental health.

    One other pattern I recognised was any stressful event in a book (even fictional) would stress me out and make me too anxious to read anything, which is a bummer since I love murder mysteries and non-fiction. I also realized that when I knew how the book ended, I could it read it with negligible anxiety. So that's what I do, even though it feels like I'm cheating. I read the first few pages and when/ if I start stressing out, I read the last chapter, put the book down and go for a walk/ do some outdoor activity. Invariably I end up grabbing the book and reading it cover to cover while enjoying it, which imho is the most important part.

    A good friend restored his reading habit by making his exercise & diet cheat day as his book day. By associating pleasure (via lazing, chocolates, & whisky) with books, he rediscovered his joy of reading.

    Go with whatever works for you.

    • This is such a good idea. I’m stuck on a couple of books that I just can’t seem to finish because I have to put them down when they get too grim or anxiety-producing. Reading the end would either ease the anxiety or let me know I don’t want to finish them.

  • You most likely don’t have as much free time on your hands. That is a major reason for this. You can start with smaller books of interest to get the feeling of completion.

  • I had a similiar issue (IMO due to the short and diverting nature of social media).

    I decided to read a little bit every evening. In the beginning I skipped a lot of evenings, did a lot of book hopping and, never finished a book either. I also struggled with reading a longer time at a stretch or even whole chapters. But eventually I got better.

    In my case I had to learn again to immerse myself in something that doesn't reward me after five seconds, but after 15 minutes or longer.

  • Audiobooks are a nice middle ground if you are too busy. If you have time to read some books then i would suggest you to avoid any app from the phone. Literally turn off you phone/tab and find yourself some nice, quiet place where you can read your book. Read it slowly at first and choose something you are really interested in and possibly not too " heavy" to digest. Some anthologies of short stories would do great.

  • I've discovered that my brain will only accept certain content certain ways. If I'm really into a fun book, then text is perfect. If it's any kind of "literature" or non-fiction, I need to listen to it at the fastest setting my brain can absorb (usually 2x speed) while doing things that would otherwise not be fun (unloading the dishwasher, cleaning, doing laundry, whatever). And I pay attention to my emotional reactions to stuff. If something is too heavy to be fun (or to handle in general), I don't make myself go back to it. I evaluate whether I want to continue. I have more than 1,000 books on my Libby wishlist, so I feel no guilt about moving on to the next thing.

  • Find a book that makes you want to turn the page because you "absolutely want to know what happens next". Don't think too much about the act of reading itself because it'll make you more anxious. Do it because it's fun for you

  • I went through a long period of not reading any books, not because of anxiety, though. Try reading with something quiet going on in the background, like a white noise machine, a piece of instrumental music (any genre but something calm and not focus pulling), or a sound effects website that offers various types of soundscapes you can test like this one: https://mynoise.net. I found a few soundscapes I liked and usually have one of them running in the background. I find that it relaxes me and makes it easier for me to concentrate and stay focussed on the book I'm reading.

  • Try reading something in a different format, like comic books, short stories, web serials, or audiobooks. Once you've gotten in habit of reading again it shouldn't be too hard to switch back to regular novels. Maybe try out different genres, or revisit some of your favorite stories. And don't be afraid to switch to another book if you find yourself not reading your current one. You can always come back to it later.

  • While I can't speak to the mental health mentioned in this post, I used to read all the time, but by the time high school years hit that dwindled and I could barely read a chapter without wanting to do something else. I think that social media really took a toll on my attention span (though I can't prove that).

    What helped me was making a book club with some friends of mine! When I had a deadline in place where if I didn't finish chapters at a set time (otherwise I wouldn't be able to properly have a conversation about it with them) that really helped motivate me. This also had the added benefit of exposing me to books I wouldn't normally read (this is how I was introduced to House of Leaves). I still don't dive deep into a book as easily as I used to, but it has been improving and like anything else just generally comes with practice.

  • I get stuck because of physical health reasons. My three things I try to kickstart it again are:

    1. dark mode on my tablet, can make a huge difference for me
    2. reading free page turner crap I get from the online ebook store (in dark mode of course)
    3. reading novels I already know the general plot of

    The built in reader on my tablet keeps track of time read. It's set at five minutes, so I try to at least get to that target with the free page turner crap.

    Reading fluff for five minutes is easier than taking on something substantial. And if it doesn't happen on that day, that's ok, I can always try again later.

    This is what works for me. There will be something which works for you, so try and keep trying until you find it. If something doesn't work for you, that's ok. You'll find one that does.

    (Have you tried short stories? Easier to complete than a novel.)

  • This was sort of me. I couldn’t use my eyes to read a book after college. Something about college took that from me. Maybe that’s when I really dove into social media, maybe I never had quiet space to just read. Either way, undiagnosed adhd and some degree of dyslexia went a ways towards breaking my looong time visual reading habit.

    But, I never stopped reading audiobooks. Almost a decade out and I’m still recovering my visual reading, but I downed 13 books and novellas this month via audiobook. (And finally finished an ebook I started in February!) Reading is now an inevitability rather than a goal.

    I read almost exclusively sci-fi and fantasy, but slip in non-fiction or classic fiction every so often.

    So, for me, it’s read what you like and read how you like.

    Side note: books that I really want to ready that aren’t at my library as audiobooks are the sole driver of me getting back into visual reading. Being audio-only locked me out of a LOT of books that I really want to read. So, unless that matches you, I have no idea how to reincentivize visual reading other than that.

  • Short stories is the answer. They do seem to mainly the province of horror and sci-fi but even if that's not a favoured genre(s) it's a way back in. Try Night Shift or Skeleton Crew by Stephen King (give The Mist a miss though, it's not really a 'short' short story). Take it a page at a time, stop reading the minute you start to lose interest, try again 15mins later. Remember it's fun activity not a competitive sport, take all the time you need, the books you want to read are going nowhere :)

  • You are getting a lot of advice on which books to read and strategies on how to read them, but one thing that I feel is often very overlooked, despite how important it is, is to search a proper ambient for a reading session.

    Get yourself a comfy seat and a nice light. Turn off your phone's notifications (except for calls and other important matters) and put your phone away, same with your computer. You can have soft background music (no lyrics, of course) if that is your cup of tea, just make it so you cannot see the screen. Get a cup of coffee or tea if you like that, and put an alarm on your clock: until the alarm sounds, there are no obligations or anything else for you to do other than reading at your own pace.

  • In the name of Krolm, Giant Rat God, I'd love to read a book, but I just can't find a time for that. Audiobooks are also an option, but it's hard to focus on important matters and listen to a book at the same time.

    Help.

46 comments