3d ago

Broccoli, cheese, and MILFs

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I sympathize with the bottom part so much. My parents absolutely refused to cook anything ever and bought the worst, most unhealthy prepackaged foods from the grocery stores. I spent the first years of my life thinking that things like apples just weren't sold at my local Kroger because we never had them. I felt like shit mentally and physically for pretty much the first 18 years of my life because of it.
I grew up, moved out, and holy shit I love eating "rabbit food," as my dad used to call it and I never would have learned before is that cooking is fun
- Did you to wish you could fuck your friends mom‽
  
  Yes but that was irrelevant because she never cooked for me, she was just hot. Still is, in fact.
  We always joke that he has a Wine Mom. He thinks that we're calling her a drunk. It means that she gets better with age.
  
  Relevant username if I ever saw one
  
  Man I was tormented with that crap as a kid. “HOLY CRAP YOUR SISTER IS HOT!!! That’s your mommmmmm? Whoa!”
  Same crap with my sister.
  I see them both as living farts.
  
  I had a running joke with this lad in school where he'd say "your sister's fit" and I'd punch him in the arm. No idea why we did it or how it stayed so friendly. Just remembered it for the first time in maybe 20 years. Thanks!
  
  Well now we need to see pictures of your hot mom and hot sis so we can judge for ourselves in the name of science and research.
  
  Commenting to come back to see that guys mom
  
  The good news is if your mother and sister are attractive, There's decent odds your good looking as well. Unless your mother fucked an ogre, and if that's so... Well at least Shrek's your dad?
  
  I’m not ugly, but I’m the least attractive member of my family.
  My brother looked like a Greek god, my sister looked like a model. My dad was so sought after that his name was spray painted all over our town with hearts and love confessions. Bridges, buildings, love for him was everywhere. He was chased by women aged 18-90.
  I was born with crossed eyes and had to have a corrective surgery. Every man in my family is over 6ft tall and I’m only 5’7. I still randomly message my mother to thank her for going through with the surgery.
  I definitely lost the lottery, but it could have been worse.
  
  Well incase no one has told you that you are attractive lately, you're fucking beautiful man. May every road rise up to meet you
  
  Well thank you. :p You’re beautiful too!
  
  We all did. The hot moms anyway. The big milfy moms, I just wanted them to make me some food.
  
  What did you think milf stands for?
  
  Mums insanely lovely food
  
  He knows what he said.
  
  Love the interrobang.
- I feel you. I weirdly did have vegetables and things growing up, but my mom self admittedly hates cooking. So most of what we ate consisted of casseroles made up of things dumped out of a can and any veggies likely also came from a can and we're heated up on the stove. She also over cooked all the meat to make sure people wouldn't get sick. So all the veggies were bland and mushy and all the meat was dry as fuck. I'll never forget the first time I ate fresh pineapple at my inlaws house and it was one of the best things I ever tasted. I'm pretty good at cooking now and I've managed to help my mom improve in all ways as well. She now uses a meat thermometer that I got her for Christmas. I cooked her some fresh broccoli in a pan with salt, pepper, and garlic powder and she loved it and started making hers that way instead of boiling it. Baby steps, but we're making progress.
- Rabbit food? What the fuck
  
  Some dudes live their whole lives afraid their balls will fall off and roll away if they eat anything but brown meat.
  
  Hey, c'mon, there's all kinds of dudes that love going to town on some brown meat.
  
  Enjoying meat and two veg on a daily basis is traditional.
  
  In the 90s people started suggesting eating veggies occasionally and the American populace reacted predictably, i.e. as if someone were threatening to literally emasculate them.
  Kind of like the modern anti-vax/anti-mask freaks.
  
  Fellas, is it gay to eat healthy?
  
  Gays, is it healthy to eat fellas?
  
  I've heard it be said from many men that I knew growing up that the more processed food is, the better, because it kills all the germs that come out of the ground. I've not seen that man eat anything green that wasn't on top of a fast food cheeseburger in all my years alive.

169 comments