pics @lemmy.world

5d ago

Steven Seagal these days

191 comments

My favorite Steven Seagal story, from his Wikipedia page:
Seagal has been accused by former stunt performers who have worked with him, including Kane Hodder, Stephen Quadros, and Gene LeBell, of intentionally hitting stuntmen during scenes. Additionally, while serving as stunt coordinator for Out for Justice, LeBell allegedly got into an on-set altercation with Seagal over his mistreatment of some of the film's stunt performers. After the actor claimed that, due to his aikido training, he was "immune" to being choked unconscious, LeBell offered Seagal the opportunity to prove it. LeBell is said to have placed his arms around Seagal's neck, and once Seagal said "go", proceeded to choke him unconscious, with Seagal losing control of his bowels. Seagal bodyguard and stuntman Steven Lambert stated he was present and said that a confrontation did happen, during which Seagal elbowed LeBell before he could lock the hold on Seagal, after which LeBell flipped Seagal.
- A movie producer I worked with in my time in the industry had done a movie with Segal in which Segal was to shoot a gun. Segal said he would only use a very specifically modified AR15. The production purchased the AR with all of the upgrades Segal requested. Segal fired it one time, said it was too loud and had too much kickback and he wanted to use a prop instead.
  
  He said an AR-15 had too much recoil? Is he made of tissue paper, or did they mod it to fire artillery shells? Christ, one of the demos they did for us at our first live fire in basic training was having one of our fellow soldiers hold an M-16 stock UP TO HIS NUTS and fire it downrange to show just how little recoil they had. I'm not kidding, I personally witnessed this. I have also put at least 20,000 rounds through M-16's and AR-15's in my life. They don't kick. Seagal is a pussy.
  
  Do you know what happened to the gun afterwards?
- I'm just using your story as an excuse to promote Bobby Fingers. Check out a diorama on the confrontation.
  https://youtu.be/3aCMTpJx2cs
  
  You can not go wrong with Bobby Fingers.
  
  I'm glad you did. What craftsmanship!
- Lol imagine thinking that aikido training means your brain doesn't need oxygen.
  
  Well, I would have guessed that less brain needs less oxygen, but I'm clearly wrong.
- It's truly a gem of a story. I can only hope Seagal thinks of it frequently, and has yet to accept himself and heal.
  
  On the other hand, when Seagal was asked about the incident, he directly denied the allegations, calling LeBell a "sick, pathological scumbag liar", and offered the name of a witness who could prove LeBell had fabricated the entire story. The claim garnered a heated response from LeBell's trainee Ronda Rousey, who said that Seagal was the one lying, and declared "If [Seagal] says anything bad about Gene to my face, I'd make him crap his pants a second time."
  
  Based on the picture it looks like he vowed to never take another shit for the rest of his life.
- Lost a scuffle to avoid getting choked, gets choked anyway. Shit self in the process. Classic Seagal.
- Haha oh wow... He not only failed to stay concious, but also shit himself in front of everyone. I love that for him.
- Honestly, they both come across as Dumb & Dumber. LeBell surely didn't have to actually prove such claim, but he still wanted to put Seagal to sleep, which could have ended in Seagal's death. It's literally a Jackass situation.

Good to know that I, too, have the body of an action movie star.
- "Star," like that chair, is doing a lot of heavy lifting here

Just remember folks, someone being fat is not a reason to hate them. Theres literally nothing else about him thats a redeeming quality, his being a lardass is the least deplorable thing about him. The fact that he must just shovel empty calories into his maw all day atleast limits the stupid shit coming out of it.
- It's not that it's deplorable, it's that it's comical given the context of him making a career being a self-deluded unconvincing badass.
  
  I think it's fitting
- For him it's not the fact that he's fat, but the absolute tragedy of a personality that excuses themselves shoveling food into his gullet. Cause you just know that in his own head he thinks he could still kick anyone's ass.
  Most people aren't fat for that reason and being fat isn't a reason to make fun. But Steven Segal's pathology makes him being fat a little funny.
  
  As a fatty, I can agree with this sentence.
  
  Yeah and like I know fat people who could kick the average ass, they tend towards being more in the longshoteman body type. But segall isn't one of them. They know they're no action hero.
- Him being fat is the only relatable thing about him.
- Well.
  Being addict isn’t inherently bad but we ought not celebrate or normalize their overt addiction.
  Willfully ignoring that its addiction and being ok consuming more resources than you need has historically been considered one of the more cruel and selfish things you can do.
  
  Historically, food wasn't as abundant as it is today. Gluttony as a sin, at least with food, isn't the same today as it was 200 years ago. That's a ridiculous argument to make. If you really want to speak 'historically', it was advantageous for our hunter gatherer ancestors to exploit any opportunity for extra food because they never knew when the next meal would be. We're still hardwired for that, except food isn't rare anymore it's abundant for most people on the planet.
  Besides, food addiction isn't the same as other additions, an alcoholic can obtain from drinking alcohol, an opioid addict can too, no one can stop eating food. Unlike other additions, someone who's obese because of their eating habits can't quit food. The thing their addicted to is in front of their face every day.

People these days just don't appreciate a strong and healthy frame when they see one.
You may not like it, but this is what peak male performance looks like.
- People these days just don’t appreciate a strong and healthy frame when they see one.
  You may not like it, but this is what peak chair performance looks like.
  
  Lmao that chair is hanging on for dear life 😂

This is my sign that I should get on my rowing machine
Update: I did 20 minutes of moderate exercise today!
- You know this isn't a mirror, right?
  
  Then why do I see myself in it?
- Hey do you actually have a rowing machine? I've been looking at them for over a month and I just have no idea what to get. Curious what you have and if you like it.
  
  I have one and I love it. I went with a concept2 and it's great.
  
  Dont cheap out too much, really cheap ones have terrible mechanisms which will make you not want to use it. They are big, heavy and kick your arse exercise wise so they tend to get sold second hand quite often. Much better off buying a used higher end machine than a brand new cheap one.
  Concept 2s are very popular in gyms.
  
  I got this one from Mr. Bezos, though it appears discontinued.
  I really like the workout I get from it, since it does my arms, shoulders, abs, back, and legs all at once. The only issue I’ve had is that I have to wear shoes because the foot things hurt my bare feet, but that’s minor. It was really easy to set up and you get a free plastic water pump with it.
  Also, I’m tall and my partner is short but it works for both of us without adjustment which is better than their exercise bike. I also like that it can stand up for storage, which reduces its footprint by like 90%.

I'm surprised the NKs haven't cannibalized him out of desperation yet
- They tried, but he Akidoed them all to death by using their own energy against them and eating them first.
  
  At least that last statement is believable.
  
  So the 10.000 NK troops Kim sent are really just rations to get Segal through the Russian winter then?

Gravy Seal.

He looks like that old fat fuck that washes up at a camping trip who everyone knows and no one wanted them there.

I'd say that chair is Under Seige.
- Under Seige? It's practically Marked for Death.
- eyy fuck you. you just made me laugh and wheeze so hard I think I strained a muscle.
- Lemmying in the bathroom as one does, and you caused me to drop another Seagal by trying to hold my laugh in. I salute you.

Please enjoy. https://youtu.be/BzIHyF7UWY4
- If you like that check out Space Ice
  
  Oh, oh I got one... Seagal VS LeBell, clay diorama
- Exactly what I thought it would be. A real work of art.
- That was wonderful, thank you very much

The Ruskies are getting him ready for Xmas.

to be morbidly obese at 72 doesnt typically end well.
- none of us will end well. 72 is a great run. so many who don't even get that far. nobody gets out of this thing alive.
  
  Yet.
- Imagine we had John Candy until 72 and Steven Seagal only lasted until 43.
- I wonder how old this Pic is? Very possible Steven isn't doing well financially, but hard to imagine he couldn't afford ozempic.
  
  He is so egotistical he probably thinks he is still at peak performance.

He's a piece of shit in the inside, too.

Oh how the turntables

What the hell ate the thing that ate Seven Segal?
- Eight Segal.
  
  Remind me of a joke:
  Why is six afraid of seven?

That looks like a badly AI generated image of Steven Seagal that Steven Seagal would use as his profile picture on social media as a bit.
If he isn't so full of himself.
- As you can see he is certainly full of something
  
  Not acting skill, that's for sure.
  
  Donuts and potatoes?
- Oh wow! Welcome back! I've been wondering where you went!
  
  Contrary to popular belief, I do have to do work for a living and can't spend all day on social media.
- I gave it a try
- Steven Seagal would gladly give away his likeness rights for AI generated slop movies, but no one is asking for his likeness rights :3

Lemmy: Torn between making fun of Segal for being fat and not being fatphobic. 😂
- There's plenty of other things about Seagal to make fun of. Tom Segura has a whole bit about it.
- It's less that he's fat, but more that he presents himself as some kind of martial arts grandmaster, all around tough guy, deputized law enforcement officer, warmaster because he was in action movies but now he's fat.

Aikido’d the fuck out of some hamberders.

From Space Ice - Steven Seagal Movie Out For A Kill Is So Lazy He Fights Sitting Down
Edit: Fixed link
- You just linked to the channel filled with videos shitting on his movies and not the specific video about him fighting sittingly. Was that on purpose to make me watch them all?
  
  I just fixed it.
  
  That channel has some videos that are both enjoyable and not about Segal. I enjoyed the one on Blade: Trinity.

I understand how he turned fat, but how did he turn asian?
- The Vapors already explained this years ago.
- Maybe he underwent the reverse of the procedure Colonel Graves had in Die Another Day.
- It must be all that aikido training. It's turning him into a japanese.

I'd have an easier time laughing at his sad state if I wasn't already mad that the guy is objectively a traitor and a goon of Vladimir Putin.

I think that's more than Seven Seagulls

That's a tactical kitchen chair, he does his best shooting from there.
- You can tell because the chair is on deadly ground.

that's one sturdy chair. look at the destruction around him. Jesus Christ Almighty, he sat down and did all that?

One of the funniest videos on YouTube is cumtown talking about segal movies
- Fatly walking around corners
- I know! I had to watch it again after I posted this 🤣
  Essential viewing
- Space ice is also good: https://m.youtube.com/c/SpaceIce/videos
- Link pliss....
  
  https://youtu.be/BzIHyF7UWY4
  "that's supposed to let you know her pussy isn't ruined" - possibly one of the funniest things anyone has ever said

I’m surprised he isn’t in a helicopter because I heard he has been flying those for like 45 years.

Is that real?
- Apparently so…
  
  Russian economy doing very well, look how much food they can afford!

Well, he's ugly as fuck on the inside too so I guess that just checks out now.

https://pca.st/episode/59c2b425-e7b2-46b2-8c9f-2c9fe609fe6c
He's worse than you think. Way worse.

More like Steven Sealgal.
- Steven Seatgal
  
  Steven Meatpile

I liked the South Park episode that featured him and Whole Foods.

Fits the MAGA crowd

Oh its really him

He looks like the guy that only appears in the final picture of a married woman's tinder profile

that guy is the spitting image of a guy i see every day

Sumo counts as martial arts! 😤

How do I know that isn't Will Sasso doing a Stephen Seagal impersonation?
- Sasso isn’t that fat.

He better hope his profile is high enough no one (mis)takes him for a spy or a Donbas Cowboy.

That poor chair.

I can finally say to have a body like ab action movie star, woohoo!

McDojo final boss

Standard American of his age

I watched this video, in Russian

I’m sure Space Ice is bookmarking this for later content.

Just keep your distance and he can't fall on you to crush you

Steven Moa

Holy shit when did this site turn into pure reddit?
- Eternal September, my friend
  
  Lemmy is still in March or April if you ask me
- On Tuesday.
- Why is this site made of Reddit's most opinionated refugees doing Reddit things?
  :)

just prepping for his return to hollywood, to be cast as the title character in a free willy remake.

Holy-diabetic-cow... Please please put the Russian jabba on the next Expendables. He can just sit on Statham while he slaps fights Stallone!

He must have found himself one of those remotes from the movie Click.

You may not like him, but the man's in his seventies. This is what a person in their seventies looks like.
- Fat people in their 70s
  
  Well yeah, if you spend your life doing martial arts of combat sports your joints are probably absolutely fucked, and you've got no hope of getting meaningful exercise in without considerable pain. Hell, I've done BJJ for only ten years and my knees are a wreck. I know Seagal is into aikido and shit, but being rich I don't blame him for being fat in his seventies. It's really fucking hard to stay in shape when you get old.
- He was a piece of nshit in his 30's too.

191 comments