what advice was great when you first heard it, but has aged like milk since then?

Dutch has a formal and informal 2nd person word (think "you" vs "thou").

I have an intern who will not stop using the formal version, and it feels super awkward. I keep telling her to stop it, but she said she always uses with older people...

She's 23, I'm mid 30s. Ouch.

“You need to keep phoning and sending letters to employers, they’ll give you a job eventually”.

Unless you are in the military or a sex dungeon, I wouldn't use "sir" these days. It's a bit odd in everyday life as culture has changed, haha.

That advice could also be harmful to your career. Being subservient like that will make sure that your boss will never see you as an equal as e.g. a potential successor

Sir Brian of Work

sir doesn't sit well with me either for work positions, I say it to be nice sometimes, but not because you're my boss. and if someone calls me sir, my response is " I'm not your sir, just call me ..."

They didn't. Some Boomers are also in the "just Brian" camp.

How're your TPS reports coming along?

Hobbies always change when they become a job because it transitions from well thought out, interesting and creative projects to mass production and monotony.

As a hobbyist you have the ability to discover and work on unique, novel projects, without stress but professionalism is about consistency and speed.

Usually by running the business you can dedicate some time and resources to the fun and novel stuff. Thats how I run mine at least, as a woodworker. I don't crank out high grossing trendy stuff day and night but take the time to explore new ideas and get creative with it. That and using handtools instead of power tools.

Do you mean you used to like writing software by yourself, on creative projects that you were passionate about?

Sounds like somebody has a case of the "Mondays".

I mean, I 100% agree with this one. If I'm going to be at work eight hours a day, five days a week, I better damn well enjoy it.

I'm a software dev, too, but have always left companies / teams soon after a Lumbergh took over. That was always a very good career move for me, and I am almost always pretty excited to go to work.

Plus, Lumberghs will be there for things you don't enjoy as well. That would just make it harder, at least for me.

Before I post this, I apologize for the content length:

Yeah this one hurts, because I've heard it all my life yet in MOST situations when I research a job and think "Hey that could be alright!"

There's always some nasty hidden majority of it that seems to exist solely to make sure nobody enjoys doing it too much. Like there's some misery quotient to be filled. Misery must be some kind of profit currency as a means of doing business...

As a hypothetical example: You like working with your hands and think assembling widgets or tools might be your thing. You romanticize taking pride in your work and imagining the end user being happy with your efforts.

But you find that once you get there, you're a slave to some Taylorism machine that demands infinite widgets in increasingly unrealistic timespans or else. And you never see the finished product. They also ban music and glare at you like criminals the entire time.

Or perhaps you envision that hardworking but noble slice-of-life-anime vibe, where you and some cool co-workers run a coffee shop and you're determined to earn a reputation for the perfect brew... except it's just you, by yourself, and a long line of grouchy jerks, and some machine is there yelling at you if you're not doing so many transactions-per-hour and your manager is displeased because you aren't selling two-coffees-and-a-plastic-tumbler per customer or something.

Less hypothetical: People tell me I'd make a great teacher. Yeah, I don't need to elaborate on those realities. (God bless you, teachers. Seriously.)

The education system is also just a human conveyor belt at this point.

Where are the jobs that are "just okay" or "fine"? What happened to the humble honest living? It seems like everything can fit under David Graeber's "Bullshit Jobs" checklist anymore.

With job satisfaction it seems either 1:100,000 odds like "career actor" or "beloved artist" or something, or you're just in the soul-grind machine that takes a perfectly human craft or interaction and forces it through a filter of spreadsheets and "KPIs" and "metrics" and "management" that makes everyone want to stop waking up.

I'd say the tasks and role of your job should at least be enjoyable enough to not hate it but what I think is even more important (and makes me enjoy my job) is the work climate, being appreciated by colleagues / customers / management, and a sense of purpose.

Happy spouse happy house is a better version. Both people should be happy.

Yeah old school relationships are insane. Always upset because of the "old ball and chain".

That was my take from the very beginning. I hate that one.

Sure, but in fairness I think that the intent of that saying is not to say that husbands should not be happy but to counterbalance the trend that used to be more historically prevalent in marriages for the wife to be treated as an appendage of the husband and taken for granted. If you view your partner as co-equal then arguably this saying simply does not apply to you at all.

Never go to bed angry is in here too. You can see why if you also know that nothing good happens after 2AM. Sometimes you just gotta sleep whether you're kinda mad or not.

But I guess they didn't have HIMYM...

My preferred edit is "Happy Spouse, Happy House"

Yeah, that doesn't work well anymore. Gotta be a noisy dedicated worker, and be willing to move jobs a few times to start seeing the rewards

This works as long as you apply some level of thought to it. Digging a ditch with a spoon is hard work, it's unlikely to help you get anywhere.

Depends. For someone else? Maybe not. On yourself? Definitely.

Work hard studying and exercising. Self improvement I'd important, and its not related to job opportunities, but rather mastering the art of living.

Sleeping on the couch isnt gping to bed, though...

Alternatively, sometimes a good night’s sleep is good for everyone to clear heads and calmly tackle their issues the next day with fresh perspectives.

Besides couch is superior to bed, those nights when I can't get sleep in the bed the couch provides. Couch best. Even the cushions are for some reason nicer than pillows. Should definitely consider moving to the livingroom.

Remembering which of my devices are old method charging and which are new method is a pain.

I have several camping lamps from like 20 years ago that I almost threw out because they weren't holding charge anymore, before I remembered to be fully draining the batteries and recharging them once a month. They work like new now practically.

What's the opposite of "full empty your battery before charging it again?"

Well that one is still true if somehow you still have Ni-Cd batteries in your life.

Nah, that advice is still correct. The 4-year degree provides a huge benefit over not having it.

It's just that a lot of people don't realize just how much shittier not having a degree in 2024 is compared to not having a degree in 1974.

So while the baseline has gotten worse, and the actual benefit of college has shrunk, it's still easily worth the 4 year commitment and the tuition/opportunity cost.

Oh wow that's a good one! There was a time where it worked out great the vast majority of the time. Not so much now, definitely aged like milk

Skip the line with a blue badge at amazon (not financial advice)

Because drinking "milk" from nuts and oats isn't weird?

People have been drinking animal milk for thousands of years so the weird ones are those pretending some heavily processed industry process isn't weird.

Yeah, finding a career that is acceptable and pays enough to afford the lifestyle you crave is a balance. Usually that advice comes from people who love doing something that is coincidentally also highly paid.

Also, loving something and being actually good enough at it to make a career out of it are also two different things

I always thought that was really dumb. After hearing stories from people then "find a skill in demand that sounds like a fun challenge" is a way better approach. I went for software but mech/civil engineering, carpentry, electrician and architect would all also be great choices.

Depends what part of the process you like. Some people like to be very meticulous in their hobbies, and somewhat of a perfectionist. That rarely exists in a professional environment, where everything is based on getting projects out the door, on schedule and on budget.

I actually like banging out projects quickly, so the professional life of my hobby suits me well (woodworking). I love pounding out big mortises with a sledgehammer, planing big boards and watch chips go flying. I hate fiddling with joinery and slowly fitting them for 10 minutes (slowly learning how to do them faster). For other people, joinery is their favorite part.

I love sleeping.

It's not "don't ever change." It's just saying don't pretend to be something that you aren't. You most likely can't keep that going forever and that's one reason why many people feel like their SO changes after being together for a while.

It can be a great compliment when someone knows you well enough to see that you're overthinking things. Too many times it's just thrown around without thinking it through and that ruins it for everyone

Yeah thanks * adult * for the advice, why don't you try AuDHD and see what you think of it - or rather what others think of you when you just * be yourself *

is myself

gets bullied for being self

attempts suicide from excessive bullying

think I did something wrong back then

"act normal"

"what do you mean act normal? I'm acting!?"

"Just be yourself" always feels like non-advice when it appears as an answer to a question like, "What should I do?" That's because it's secretly negative advice. As in, it doesn't tell you what you should do, it only tells you what you shouldn't do. It's code for, "Don't pretend to be something you aren't". Don't pretend, don't lie, don't put on a facade you can't keep up.

Technically good advice, yes. But it's the equivalent of being behind the controls of a plane you don't know how to fly and the pilot is incapacitated, and your question of "How the hell do I fly this thing?" being met with, "Well, for starters, don't jerk the stick and flip the plane over." Wowee gee, thanks for the tip.

just because you were that person doesn't mean you are now. the advice still holds

Bro, won in life, now doing sidequests

I'm happy for you. :)

One of the things I’ve learned from my favorite psychology professor is that paying attention to my conscience, doing what my gut tells me is the right thing to do, is the most effective treatment for depression I’ve ever found.

I used to be enamored of basically financial success and exploration. Now I most highly value the lack of things nagging at my conscience.

I’m pretty poor, but I’m happy.

I used to make a lot more money making software. During that time, I kept maybe 25% of the promises I made to people professionally. I would very often say “This’ll be done in three weeks” knowing I’d have a better chance of landing this or that contract, also knowing the three weeks was extremely optimistic.

I did that all the time. Very bad character in retrospect. No wonder I was anxious and depressed. Always feeling like some kind of hunted animal. Somehow, I thought of myself as a good person because I lied to myself.

Now I do work where I keep approximately 97% of my promises (I track this). I make less money. Honestly the work I do is easy. But the payoff in terms of my serotonin and dopamine levels is huge. I feel solid. I rarely have trouble getting started with my day.

I’m hoping to take on slightly harder, slightly more meaningful work. But now that I have a taste of being reliable, I never want to go back.

Real estate can be a good investment, even pre 2008 crash. What can be dangerous is over leveraging. A primary residence isn't really an investment, still worth buying though.

I mean, if you had money at the time and bought a house in one of the larger cities or their suburbs, you would probably be loaded by now, even though you would regret it for about 5 years after the crash

he was a terrible teacher.

the wealthy have always considered real estate to be a liability that requires constant upkeep. they are money pits.

this is why they truly own nothing but physical assets(gold, paintings,etc) and leverage any liquidity on acquiring assets.

I mean, if you don't try at all you're far less likely to succeed.

That infuriates me. “Oh but anyone can edit”. Yes, but see for how many seconds your stupid edit will last. It’s the single most rich and accurate encyclopedia humanity has seen, ffs.

Haha, no.

When you first move in you see all the flaws that the previous owners got used to living with. Fix them while you're still motivated to.

Don't make any improvements is a crazy proposition. But I agree with living in the place 6 months before doing anything drastic unless it is obvious. I live in a very old house. It took us a while to see the reasoning behind some of the features in our house. We were tempted to scrap anything that wasn't typical in new constructions, but that would have been a waste of money.

I was happy saving up for a few months and observing the house to see where my money was best spent.

Why is it not good advice?

Just as casual conversation, what items or categories of goods do you usually deal with? Just wondering, as I myself have noticed "the boat" rocking back and forth between different online buying options for years. I live a pretty minimalist life now (used to be heavy tech) so I don't buy much anymore and am pretty out of the loop now.

I thought eBay in this context meant second hand? Because here's the thing: i think second hand means you save a lot of money but you get less choice and less convenience; but platforms are getting good now so both of these factors are mitigated.

Anyway, eBay being 1:1 with Amazon is good enough for me, and i agree that AliExpress in particular is now better than Amazon in terms of price and choice. I don't even know how risky it really is, they can refun orders right?

"In a negotiation about wearing black vs. brown shoes, compromise is wearing two different colored shoes. Nobody gets what they want and one of you ends up looking like an idiot."

Paraphrased from memory from a book called "Never Split the Difference: Negotiate as if Your Life Depends on it"

Calling that advice is like the opposite of a modern fortune cookie.

What? A buying stock in a company based on selling used media in an industry that is transferring heavily into digital? Thank god they have Funko Pops to save the sinking ship. GME is a meme stock because it's like Bitcoin or that banana duct taped to a wall. It's worth a lot to investors but not a lot to society. Actually I'd say the banana is worth more. If push comes to shove, I can eat the banana.

I mean... If you bought at $350, yeah, but anything less than $60 before the split is still positive.