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how badly could a pelican fuck me up in a fight?

DISCLAIMER - I am not planning on fighting a pelican.

there's a brown pelican that hangs out on the railing of a very narrow portion of a boardwalk nearby. the only reason it makes me nervous is because it's huge, but their nails look short, and their beaks are pointed, but curved downwards so they would have to try to bite me with that long thing instead of pecking me.

like, if a bird capable of clawing or eating my eyes out attacked my face, I'd honestly have no qualms about killing it immediately. but if I ever get attacked by a pelican, it looks like I could just kind of hold it off without having to hurt it. am I right in that?

150 comments
  • Most likely the worst it would do is some light scratches and bites, but that beak tip could tear up some skin if it scrapes across the skin like a box cutter knife. Those beak tips are surprisingly sharp.

    But it would all be superficial from the claws and beak. The main danger would be from bacteria and other pathogens causing infections if those wounds aren't cleaned.

  • how badly could a pelican fuck me up in a fight?

    DISCLAIMER - I am not planning on fighting a pelican.

    there's a brown pelican that hangs out...

    Poetry.

    Actually, wait...

    how badly could a

    pelican fuck me up in

    a fight? DISCLAIMER

    .

    I am not planning

    on fighting a pelican.

    There's a brown peli-

  • Can you please write a review on Google or something? I would love to know how you would rate the Pelican's performance in your upcoming battle.

    • does the pelican have a business where i can leave such a review?

      • Maybe that one?

        Edit: They promise this on their website : "We deliver award-winning customer service by empowering our people to recognise the needs of our customers".

  • They could scratch you up for sure, maybe poke an eye, but they're more likely to avoid to than attack unless they're guarding a nest or something. If they come at you, take off your jacket, an umbrella, or grab a tarp or something and open it up to catch their beak/claws and probably scare them away too.

    If you happen to have something like an air horn, that would also probably scare them off.

150 comments