As a passenger in the car, whats the things a driver does that pisses you off, makes you uncomfortable, or terrifies you?
Personally, I find it endlessly frustrating and even terrifying to be in the passenger seat with a driver who jumps in the car and immediately goes.. Then worries about Seatbelts/Radio/AC/Mirrors/Plugging in Phone/etc etc while driving.
Motherfuckers who turn their head to talk to others in the car while they're driving. Keep your eyes on the road, dumbass.
In movies sometimes they do it for freakishly long, obviously because the car isn't actually driving or because it's sitting on a trailer. It's become a trope, some films parody it.
Tailgating, weaving through lanes to pass other cars and get to our destination zero seconds faster, fucking around with their phone. General "bad driver" stuff.
My husband regularly continues accelerating toward the vehicle in front of us while said vehicle is braking. He also tailgates. It's terrifying and I rarely let him be the one to drive.
Granted I'm a lifelong loner but...how do you deal with this? I don't know for sure, but I don't think I could ever have a partner who drives so egregiously dangerous. Not only is it dangerous, but it also indicates a severe lack of empathy for other human beings. I don't know how I could reconcile a severe lack of empathy in a partner like that.
I guess it depends. Does he tailgate out of aggression or because he's not paying attention? Not that one is necessarily better than others, but the intent is different. One just implies stupidity while the other implies lack of empathy.
Not the one you're replying to but my SO was a terrible driver and still has issues. At first I brought it to them calmly but over the years it turned into nagging. That being said, their driving has improved significantly. Much safer than it was but they still get mad at other cars who were being oblivious. They also admitted they have problems seeing at night so I always drive at night now.
They're aware I have a problem with their driving and it is a source of contention in our relationship but not enough to break up over.
I deal with it by being the one to drive more than 99% of the time. It would be a problem if he wanted to be the one driving, but fortunately he doesn't.
I don't know why he tailgates. He doesn't recognize that what he's doing is dangerous. So I guess stupidity....
The last time I was a passenger in my brother's car, I remembered that he tends to drive in a way that makes me feel unsafe, like what OP described. Unreasonable acceleration, tailgating, swerving. He laughed when I was physically bracing myself and said his partner does the same thing. I told him I just won't be in a car when he's driving anymore. Of course, it's easier to do because I don't see him too often.
IMO when I'm driving, I not only have a responsibility to keep my passengers safe, but to make them feel safe. I might feel safe because I know I'll brake in time, but my passengers don't because they're not controlling the vehicle.
Not allowing enough flashes of the turn signal before turning or changing lanes. I aim for three blinks minimum, usually four. One or two blinks just doesn't seem like enough opportunity for other drivers' busy eyes to see the indication.
Oh god, tell me about it.
I know someone who gets absolutely red hulk faced full of rage because the cars beside them wont let them over.
But the problem? THey dont understand that the goddamn indicator is to INDICATE THEIR INTENTIONS to the other drivers... So they don't turn the indicator on at all, until they are in the middle of changing lanes, while screaming adn cussing up a storm about "entitled" drivers who wont let him over..
And trying to tell him to turn on the fucking turn signal so they know he WANTS to get over is like trying to explain pi to a brick wall.
THANK YOU.
It's a turn INDICATOR, not a turn REQUEST. I am signaling my intent, not asking permission. If I have room to make my indicated lane change I'm usually going to follow through, and if the driver that will be behind me after the lane change tries to close the gap AFTER I have signalled, well they better be ready to hit the brakes.
I know someone who gets absolutely red hulk faced full of rage because the cars beside them wont let them over [...] while screaming adn cussing up a storm about "entitled" drivers who wont let him over..
Meanwhile, in the other cars:
Hey, look at that guy in the fast line. That dude is absolutely PISSED at his friend there. What do you think they're fighting about?
My husband when changing lanes would wait until he has space, then indicates while turning. He thinks that if he indicates too early, other drivers would intentionally close gaps and not give him way
In my experience, people do sometimes do what your husband says. Not everyone, obviously, but a lot of people really are shitty. So I get that to a degree.
A thing I do actually is that when I'm the first car sitting at a red light and my intention is to turn right, I actually explicitly do NOT use my turn signal. I use it in every other scenario except this one. Because I've found that if I use it, I run into the occasional asshole that decides to blare his horn at me for not immediately turning right and getting into an accident with oncoming traffic. When they don't know whether or not I'm turning or going straight, they don't honk at me like an asshole.
It's not that I never make right turns on red, it's that I just like to make sure it's safe to do so. I watch oncoming traffic and check the crosswalk for pedestrians. If there is an obstruction to view of traffic (happens occasionally at certain intersections), then yeah I just wait for the green light. But inpatient dipshits don't give a shit because it took them an extra 3 seconds to get to the grocery store.
This happens to me as well, and just like your husband I'm not one to close gaps on purpose to others.
He should cut them off then!
Turn signal before brakes is my golden rule.
I fucking loathe the dickheads who slow down (some slamming on their brakes) IN THE LANE before suddenly turning their signal on as they pull a full 90 degree turn, rather than just signal early and coast while moving over into the turn/suicide lane
So much traffic caused by such basic garbage driving
I like it!
When we're first in line at a red light, and the driver starts doing shit like check their phone.
Wife does this and it drives me nuts - unless it just turned red, you fucking stare at that light so you can GTFO the second it turns green.
...then she gets annoyed when I say "light's green" when it turns while she's distracted. -_-
My husband got a ticket/points on his license doing that and that stopped him.
I wish they enforced that more in my area.
No tolerance for that. Yank the phone from their hand and scold them like a child. That's ridiculous.
Theres plenty of people who complain about drivers who get ticketed for using a mobile while at lights or stopped in traffic (think of the comments on a particular uk cycle cammer who films drivers using their mobiles then reports them) but it plays heavily with situational awareness & drivers ability to "check back in" to the activity of driving.
Being first at a red light is a big responsibility. That shit is not to be taken lightly.
My father in law brakes incredibly late. Consequently, he brakes very hard. Drives me (heh) insane, and causes me to reach for the oh-shit bar and the ghost brake every time.
Add in hysterical, blood-vessel-throbbing shrieks at the person in front, and you've just described my mom's driving. It's terrifying to ride anywhere with her.
My ex gets distracted easily. She always hated that I would ghost brake, but I can’t help it when she’s not reacting to the stopped car in front of us
Omg, I had an ex that did this too and it gave me a heart attack every time. I totally did the same ghost brake thing too, I couldn't help it.
Driving digitally. Gas and brake pedals are analog controllers, not buttons.
ffs people with lead feet need to read this
My wife's family drives like this, not just with the pedals but with the wheel too. Instead of turning it to where it needs to be and holding it they turn it to far then over correct back twords center then back to the first spot they turned it to, then overcorrect, and repeat the entire turn. Thankfully I was able to get my wife to stop driving this way when we started dating and now she hates riding with any of her family driving as much as I do.
My ex would try to maintain an exact speed by slightly ecxelerating then let off the gas over and over, just tap tap tap on the gas. 100 miles of tiny lurches.
I've had uber drivers who do this in an electric car. If you thought it was bad in an ICE, lemme tell you. With that instant torque its a vomit comet
This right here. I’ve known two drivers with this exact habit. Spectacularly infuriating.
Just let me out right here. I’ll walk.
They must have taken driving lessons from a thermostat.
This is how to get your passengers to vomit all over the inside of your car
I used to have a friend who did this and wasn't very good at it, so she would constantly accelerate and brake, so much it made me queasy.
Tailgating and driving fast in parking lots. Some people just do these out of habit, it drives me nuts.
Entering an intersection before they are sure there will be enough space to clear it.
I hate situations where this can happen, because other people can't ever be fucking trusted
Its happened twice in my life that I HAD room, then as I made my way across the intersection someone who wasn't clear in another lane almost hit me to steal my spot, then I look like the asshole
"Look out, everyone, I'm coming!"
Aw man, I hate when I enter an uncontrolled intersection only to realize that my lane is stopped and now I'm sticking out obstructing cross traffic.
Convsersely, a passenger who takes off their seatbelt when I get close to their destination.
Twice I had a Lyft driver (the same one both times) try to sell me a vacation timeshare. It's really awkward being trapped in a car having to hear a sales pitch.
Also, generally don't like when Uber/Lyft cars are heavily scented to cover up the smell of smoke. Makes my skin itch.
I hope you gave him a shit review.
Timeshare (and MLM) salespeople are well-known for their ability to attract and then box-in a potential client. Delivering a pitch while in a fast moving car? That's next-level diabolical, even for those people.
What I do: I interrupt them. “Hey fucknuts I’m not interested in your time share bullshit. Just keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel and your trap shut.”
That works wonders
Never piss someone off while your life is in their hands. Some people are psychos or have a hair-trigger. Ask them to drive safer if necessary, but just give them a bad rating and block them after you arrive safely.
Not keeping proper distance to the vehicle in front or behind them
How does a driver choose how close someone follows them?
The nerve of that guy driving so close to the car behind them!
I was taught to adjust my speed until the distance is safe. Most people eventually either overtake, or get the hint and back off.
Don't break check though! It can cause people to panic and swerve, causing an accident.
People who know damn well they have a right turn coming up in fewer than 30 seconds, but are perfectly comfortable riding that left lane until the last possible second before they violently swoop cut across all lanes of traffic at once to make their turn.
Bonus points if that turning lane is swamped with other cars, but their tunnel vision was so deep they don't notice until they attempt to merge, and they become frustrated that they either can't make it, or they have to aggressively steal the right-of-way to force themselves in.
You write like you've driven the Garden State Parkway.
Sometimes I can't believe I survived driving in NJ for a year
You've met my ex I see
When they try to get into the back of the car in front of us.
Drivers seem to forget that they always must maintain minimum emergency breaking distance from the car in front, which changes with weather conditions, speed limit, and the reaction times of the driver themselves.
Tailgating is frightening, especially when it's very clear that if something suddenly happened ahead the driver could not react without superpowers they don't have.
It's not hard to be a good driver. You can even drive fast. Just blink several seconds before you change lanes, keep a lot of space between you and the car in front, and just don't surprise other drivers in any way.
This includes not breaking hard unless you have to (only when you fail to have enough space in front of you to brake smoothly).
My goal while driving is to ensure that I don't make any other drivers have to hit their brakes unnecessarily.
Accelerate, brake, accelerate, brake, accelerate, brake on repeat when on a wide open road.
Some drivers do this seemingly without being aware and once you notice it's impossible to ignore how irritating the feeling is.
Braking doesn't even have to factor into it, I can't stand the feeling of going on and off the throttle. Cruise control exists for a reason, people.
Basically all of the things I see other drivers doing when I'm not in their car.
The last one is particularly nauseating and terrifying if you're in the car.
Sitting at 60 in the middle lane, and then getting angry because people are tailgating and both over and under taking. Have some fucking lane disaplin.
Where I live 60 is faster than the right lane and slower than the overtaking lane.
Tailgating is never he appropriate response
From experience I can tell you that I really hate it when the driver is doing ten over the limit then announces unprompted that he's not afraid of dying in a car accident because he knows he's going to be with Jesus.
Jesus is gonna laugh at them when they're down below. Dance with the devil and you get burnt -- not a ticket to heaven, lol
Maybe he needs to watch this: https://youtu.be/sSIiqn2v7wE
Tailgating, racing other drivers, quick jerk lane changes, speeding more than ten mph over the limit, last minute braking.
Looking at me when they're talking. I don't care for the politeness of it, just watch the road!
Speeding, texting while driving, calling while driving, overtaking cars when there is a solid line, overtaking when you can't fuckin see what's in front (e.g.: overtaking a semi in right curve), overtaking while going like 2 km/h faster, going fast (even if within limit) when there is a fog and road signs warn about animals frequently crossing the road, unnecessarily loud music, strongly-heated car.
I do about 98% of the driving. I've been driving an ambulance for almost 40 years. I cannot stand almost everything when someone else drives. It takes a lot for me to relinquish the driver's seat when we are doing more than a 4 hour drive.
I'm not a huge fan of my father-in-law falling asleep while driving on the highway and then lying and saying that he was just thinking/meditating. I guess, also add my father-in-law thinking that driving down the highway is an acceptable time to meditate.
Old mate has obstructive sleep apnoea.
My BIL could micro sleep while crossing the GW Bridge. Yikes!
My former boss's wife used to steer very strangely when driving - The Jeep was likely out of alignment, but instead of staying centered and making continuous small corrections, she'd let it drift to one side till it was on the line then quickly correct back towards center and then continue drifting, endlessly until arriving at the destination.
Recently one of my family members got license and a car. Great! However, whenever something happens that person always starts to shout, insult and behave like a child throwing a tantrum.
It made me going from “oh you want to drive to x place? Alright” to “no, it’s okay. I will take the bus” real quick.
Getting on a cell phone.
Pretty much everything. Either I'm driving or I'm not.
Well... Driving a tesla, letting the autopilot do the work, showing off the amazing acceleration and using the karaoke function while driving when it explicitly tells you as you start it up that you shouldn't use it as the driver.
My mate is usually so sound of mind and an absolute delight to be around. But i just don't like driving in his tesla.
Just being a passenger makes me uncomfortable.
Mood.
The only person who I’m comfortable riding with is my partner—they drive very safe.
Using their phone, e.g. trying to snap it into their phone holder, planning a route, that sort of thing.
My wife will not turn off her wipers even when it's no longer raining. Drives me mad.
This is a weird one, but a personal pet peeve. Assuming no one is behind you and there are already some cars at a red light ahead of you, there is no reason to accelerate. Let off the gas. Coast. Sometimes the light turns green by the time your there. If you keep accelerating and stop that's just wasted gas.
When the driver is drunk. Inevitably after a party someone will offer to drive me at least part way to home. I try to resist but when I'm also drunk saying no is hard.
Not braking smoothly / suddenly braking. Literally makes me queezy.
People that want to be pals on the highway. Get the fuck away from me!
Daredevil left turns
Which is basically every left turn in NYC
My brother once drove 60mph down a winding narrow mountain road one-handed while sipping tea. Cool story to tell now that i say it like that, but i can assure you it was not cool to be in the passenger seat at the time
You wouldn't want to ride with me, then.
I generally don't secure the seatbelt until I'm moving forward. Not sure why, but I've always done it.
I'll mess with the rearview mirror often, as my position in the seat may shift, and I can't stand it when the view in the mirror isn't centered.
As for the radio... I channel surf like mad. 40 presets and I'll scan through them all before deciding on something that I never stay on very long. My wife can, not, stand it. lol But, the radio controls are on the steering wheel, so doing so isn't a distraction.
In the past, when I drove any of my vehicles that had a manual transmission, I had a habit of rattling the gearshift at stoplights. People who rode with me didn't like that either.
Adderall my dude
My current car won’t start unless m wearing my seat belt.
You need to get a streaming audio service - you only need one playlist. No commercials. No blather. Just the music you requested. Surfing is no longer relevant
Oh I do. I have quite a few Spotify playlists, including one that contains every track from every album I've ever owned, with a few hundred single tracks thrown in.
It's about 10k tracks in total, played on shuffle, and I still surf.
"Nope, not in the mood... Nope.. Next... Come on, give me something good... Nope... Ah, finally."
Everything!
Dies
Puttimg their seatbelt on after they start driving. Driving the car with the driver begging center of the lane rather than the car being center of the lane.