4w ago

FDA Bans Captain Morgan Rum After Having Way Too Much Of That Shit In College

theonion.com FDA Bans Captain Morgan Rum After Having Way Too Much Of That Shit In College

WASHINGTON—In a memo that stated they couldn’t even smell the stuff without gagging, officials at the Food and Drug Administration announced Wednesday a plan to ban Captain Morgan rum, citing the fact that they’d had way too much of that shit in college. “Captain Morgan Rum is not suitable for…ugh, ...

16 comments

I still feel the urge to vomit upon detecting the smell of malibu coconut rum.
- It's not just me! The specific night that caused it for me I didn't even drink any. I woke up with the worst hangover of my life to my friend throwing up the full bottle of malibu she had the night before. That smell is permanently ingrained in my brain.
  The hand sanitizer my workplace ordered during covid was coconut scented. Made my stomach turn every time I walked by someone that used it.
- For me it’s Raspberry Smirnoff.
  Oddly enough, I love to eat raspberries…
  
  Funnily enough, my roomate used to drink tons of malibu, but I still drink tons of green apple smirnoff. Smirnoff is literally the only alcohol ive ever had that i would actually claim to like.
- UV Blue vodka for me. It smells like that time I almost died.

This but Jager and not a joke if it was me. It shouldn't even exist. What a terrible alcohol.
- Ah yes. I too remember with...let's say "wincing nostalgia"...my Jaeger years. Brutal.
  
  I didn't even have years, it was just one single 4th of July where we discovered Jager bombs, drank about 45834 of them, then spilled Jager in the backseat of my car when my sister drove us home. Getting in the car the afternoon of July 5th with a raging hangover and some hot licorice smell was enough to put me off it forever.

First thing I ever got drunk on. “Friend” gave me way too much. Blacked out, puked everywhere. Never drank it again and the smell still makes me heave.
- That is me with tequila. A teenage JPSound had no experience with alcohol and went to house party with my own bottle of tequila I stole from my neighbor's dad's massive booze stash. I knew I've seen adults drink many beers before, I can probably do the same with this too. I mean, alcoholis alcohol, right?....nope. That was ~25 years ago and to this day I can't stand the smell of tequila. Instant nausea and smells like poison to me.
  
  smells like poison to me
  Well it technically is
- Same, but McMaster's Canadian Whisky 🤢
  It's funny such horrible memories can also be nostalgic