Why IS dating rule for guys

beautiful thank you
~~:.|:;~~
- Ah, the English language's first Kanji.
this hits the funny
Ty very fine addition
- Looks like there's a Celeste Among Us…
i is hard for guys
- Easily the best one. But does that mean:
  
  a. Self-actualization and understanding one's self is difficult for men due to toxic masculinity and social norms.
  
  b. Into guys but with dubious grammar skills.
  
  c. ... both?
Indeed why dating?
I'm at a loss.
Quality content 👌🏽✨

Simple: Guys should just date each other! The girls can then watch with their gfs 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👀👭

I will become the girl instead
I mean, if that ultimately gets me a girlfriend, I'll give it a shot. Seems like a lot of extra steps though.
- Why would you need a gf when your homie is everything you wanted?
Imagine dating men…

Showering everyday isn't actually necessary, excluding obvious situations.

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/09/26/917019912/in-the-era-of-hygiene-clean-author-makes-the-case-for-showering-less

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/showering-daily-is-it-necessary-2019062617193

https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20240423-theres-no-need-to-shower-every-day-heres-why

I would look up an actual academic article, but I don't care that much after being insulted. 🖖

The point is to take care of your hygiene, if showering less is enough for you that's great
“Not strictly necessary”, please stop you’ll sweep me off my feet!
Not at the top of that list are ya
- At least my eczema's getting better, you ass.
While you're right, it's missing the forest for the trees. It's just quippy way of saying "takes care of one's hygiene"

But yes, it's mostly a common myth that you have to shower every day, ideally do what feels right/works for you to have a good hygiene
- But yes, it’s mostly a common myth that you have to shower every day
  
  My armpits would like a word.
Yeah I think there's a difference between having a smell and smelling bad. I've been told many times that I have a smell(musk) and that it's different from when I smell bad. A female friend of mine has borrowed clothes and protective equipment from me. Rain jacket: smells like me, kneepads: smell really bad.
😬
Not everyday if you don't go outside, but if you go outside you need to shower before hand so you don't smell
Okay, but how do you live like that
- It helps with my eczema? What do you mean?

That s not true , of course doing the basic minimum of a normal human IS required but its not enough to have a gf today. The loneliness epidemic is real and not all lonely guy are complete moron. Personally I think one major factor is the privatization of love.

Wow this has a lot of up votes. Of course the loneliness epidemic is real but why blame something nebulous like the privatization of love when capitalism is right there. There's a profit motive in getting people to work longer hours for less pay and have less free time to build community
- Don't forget the commodification of all the 3rd places so now there's no real place for people to interact without having to spend money
- Yes I just wanted to be more precise , in fact I was talking about the fact that more than halft of the meeting are donne thanks to dating app and that the algorithms of those app are made to make you dependent of those app and not for there original purpose . I think I m not clear but basically enshitifaction of dating app are a real problem and one major cause of loneliness that s what I wanted to say. Sorry for my broken english its not my first language
Ask someone out for coffee. Talk about your week. Ask about theirs. Don't treat the interaction as a pass/fail. Repeat. If you have mutual attraction then nature will play out.

Doing the bare minimum hygiene and the appearance of happiness drastically improves your chances.

Dating is for finding someone you enjoy being around. Sex is a result of growing closer.

Obviously some people have it easier than others but I have peers that just refuse to ask people out for coffee or a lunch. I'm a late millennial if that matters.

Be a decent person and if a love interest doesn't personally find you attractive they WILL tell their friends. NEVER talk poorly about your previous relationships. Learn a few jokes.

The privatization of love is a real problem but the classic approach isn't dead.
- Ask someone out for coffee
  
  Who?
- My issue is with your first sentence (cis white man that is about as just barely straight). With all of the talk about equality, equity, and BS gender roles, I'm still expected to make all of the initial moves and decisions in real life and on apps. However, I'm mildly on the spectrum and my natural tenancy is to be very aggressive in my methods (not in a violent way and not just with people, just mean I am very earnest, locked in, and tenacious with most things I do).
  
  I have never been approached, hit on, or asked out by a women in real life, though I have by men a couple of times. When I'm in public or at a bar I am literally invisible, unless I happen to walk into a women's zone of awareness (not personal space, but the point/distance where they then have to make a judgment as to whether I am a threat or not).
  
  The advantage of online dating is that if I match with someone it's reasonable to assume they are interested in me which puts me past the initial barrier in real life of not being able to tell. At that point I'm pretty OK at interacting with a person and flirting etc. However, my hobbies and the things I would like a partner to enjoy doing with me are very male dominated.
  
  The result of this is that I haven't ever had a partner or dated someone who didn't have crippling anxiety and/or deep self-image issues where they use their partner for all of the validation and structure they haven't figured out how to do from within themselves. Which at least to me makes sense, since women with the same interests as mine are surrounded by men all the time everyday, and so the confident well adjusted women have the metaphorical pick of the litter and probably end up with one of the few not problematic men in that space that are also well adjusted.
  
  I am well aware it's far more complicated than that, and that women face a number of other struggles, but Game Theory does still very much apply, and so as I was saying before despite all of the rhetoric about equity, I still have to play by the old rules while somehow also playing by the new ones at the same time.
  
  It's exhausting.
- appearance of happiness
  
  I see now. That is holding me back by a lot.
- Do a group activity which has members of the demography you’re trying to attract. Show that you’re useful in a social environment and you will gain status and thus attract mates.
  
  That can be anything from environmental protection, sports, politics, arts, music, games, organizing parties.
Some people are gay.
- The lesbian harem is keeping me from getting a girlfriend!
- That's okay.

Lol the attractive guy turns into a femboy ;3

The attractive "guy" is a transbian (trans lesbian) :3
- I wanna take a ride on that transbian railway.

Who is temach

Allegedly he's some Mexican bootleg version of Tate.
- Who is Tate
Temach my balls!

No?

I'd like to think I am the guy the arrows are pointing to but I am still chronically single 🥲🥲🥲 its okay, life is good but still I do get lonely sometimes

Be attractive

Don't be unattractive
- shi my bad g
I'm sorry it was me. Now I transitioned so I'm the one in the bottom picture too 😎
- winning fr
Have you tried dating?
- Nope, and at this point I don't feel like bothering. My life sucks for many reasons, but not having a partner is a pretty minor one. Many people's lives suck worse than mine as well.
- on a year streak rn :3
We're trans-friendly here, you can come out

Edit: I interpreted the two pics as a two-panel progression
- this may have been the intention I may be stupid

I'm getting married

Everyone just scrollin' past this post.

Grats!
Congrats friend. Are you happy?
- Yes :)

I'd like to note: neurodivergent people generally only become close with other neurodivergent people (NOT ALWAYS). neurodivergent people are a much smaller portion of society, and a lot of these people will be bullied or put down growing up and lose their self worth. EVEN IF they manage to regain their self worth completely, they generally have trouble communicating with people, and will generally have mild to negative social interactions. Now the people who have the most trouble interacting have to interact with 5x as many people since they likely would only become close with other neurodivergent people. I hope that's obvious how insanely unfair that is.

Stuff like this is pretty hurtful to those people, because if this is all it takes for most people, hey I must really be worthless then because I've already done all this and I tried a hobby and I tried asking people out and none of it works! To those people, sorry you have to deal with this, you deserve someone who will be happy to be with you. I promise there are people out there that will value you specifically for who you are, even if they're more rare. You can try joining things that you think will have people you'd enjoy hanging out with, whether that be playing games at a comic book shop or joining a dnd group, a choir, a band, or any niche interest you have (for me this is learning languages, and I met two of the coolest people I've ever met through that)

This is an important message and a positive one. Thank you.

Misandry is not going to help anyone but misogynists

And what exactly was "misandrist" in this meme?
- I guess it could be read as there are no regularly showering non-incel men, just women, which would not be fair.
Ah, I knew they'd find Lemmy sooner or later. I guess it can't be helped.

Don't make it so obvious....

It's hard enough to find someone already. Like - ok fine I get it, yes, being a lesbian (or bi) feels like the only way anyway, cuz like yeah, how can you not like girls. I find that somewhat hard to imagine.

but that turns into a bad thing, because all of a sudden you have all these super pretty girls in the dating space and they are all prettier, smarter and more comfy cozy than you!!! I feel this is especially the case when transfem (but what do i know)

how can you not like girls. I find that hard to imagine.

https://lemmy.ml/post/19729479
- Yes kinda. But I do feel that generally, people are more attracted to girls than to guys. And I don't like that.

You will never find a man to sweep you off your feet, because sweeping is a woman's job. Mrrowl

Damn, I need to up my opening line game if this is what I'm competing with, smh, sapphics OP, pls nerf

Gotta put maga chuds on there too. There's a literal movement (4B) to not f--- those people.

The top image gave me flashbacks to reddit, r/chodi, and the wave of Indians spamming r/Pakistan complaining about "love jihad"

spoiler

Love jihad (or Romeo jihad)[5] is an Islamophobic[11] conspiracy theory[22] promoted by right-wing Hindutva activists.[25] The conspiracy theory purports that Muslim men target Hindu women for conversion to Islam by means such as seduction,[28] feigning love,[30] deception,[31] kidnapping,[34] and marriage,[37] as part of a broader demographic "war" by Muslims against India,[39] and an organised international conspiracy,[42] for domination through demographic growth and replacement.

It was funny because there actually were several studies and polls that suggested women in India preferred Muslim men because they were well groomed and more respectable than their Hindu counterparts.