Precrime

For those who are confused, it’s a joke from an old Australian YouTube video.

Happened in 1991 but not uploaded until 2009. Mirrors the plot of Minority Report (2002). Like he could see the future.
- If I recall correctly he'd already committed plenty of white collar crime and by my guess assumed making a big show in front of the cameras would help him out, it really didn't.
I've been on the internet for a long time and I'd never seen that one. You're doing God's work.

This is Democracy manifest

RIP "are you waiting to receive my limp penis?" guy. He died a couple of months ago.

“are you waiting to receive my limp penis?”

Since seeing this video clip for the first time, I have spent my life since then awaiting the exact set of circumstances which will make this the line I need to deliver. Alas, it has not yet happened.
- If that's not the perfect motivation to write a screenplay and cast yourself in it, I don't know what is!
- Get real drunk and then go out and do your best to get laid—except don’t get hard and while she’s lying on the bed, watching you…there you go.
He’s now in Aussie Crook Valhalla, enjoying endless succulent Chinese meals with Ned Kelly and Chopper Read.

Get your hand off my penis!

This would make a great movie. Let’s get that really tall guy from Jack Reacher to be the lead.

There's a Futurama episode where they do this!
really tall guy from Jack Reacher

That's Alan Ritchson. I think he can bench a dump truck.
- Alan Richson is from Reacher. Jack Reacher is a movie that starred Tom Cruise (who was also in Minority Report)
  
  Same character but different actors. Notably though, the joke is that Tom Cruise is pretty short.
- Wrong Jack Reacher. 😉
- He's not allowed to do that anymore, after he broke the first three.
You mean Minority Report?
- Thats... that's the joke...
Actually I'm imagining a heist movie where this guy's makes a scene as a diversion while Tom Cruise steals some jewels or something. I'd watch that.

You couldn't stage an arrest video that good. That man could project like a Shakespearean actor.

He actually was a stage actor who did Shakespeare, no joke.
- Fuckin a. It has to be the most theatrical video recorded arrest in human history

I'm seeing the video for the first time and discovered where was the beginning of this song sampled from: https://youtu.be/q07G2_zOEWA (badklaat - judo)

Interesting find.

"Are you waiting to receive my limp penis!?!"

Crime coefficient at 178, non leatal force authorized.

Please aim carefully, and eliminate the target.
- Less lethal just means more practice.
I hope the Agent knows his Judo well

Shoutout to The Chats for helping to finally identify(?) Mr. Democracy Manifest.

Succulent with intent to commit wificide. That's a twelve twenty-seven. Book 'em!

Haha oh my gosh, I was just talking about this the other day. This man is a fucking legend.

This is literally the plot of Psycho Pass. Highly recommend btw

Wasn't this a futurerama episode?

No, it was democracy manifest.
It was, riffing on Minority Report from 2002
- And that memed ~~britsh~~ Australian dude removed to the cops very loudly in a "how dare you sir!" ridiculous voice.
- Which was itself riffing on The Minority Report by Phillip K. Dick from 1956 .

What is this, Person of Interest?

Oh God why do I know this?

He was actually arrested for credit card fraud

Original comic link: https://www.webtoons.com/en/comedy/safely-endangered/ep-925-minority-retort/viewer?title_no=352&episode_no=925 (at a glance, it looks like it was the original artist who adapted it to be in a more social-media-friendly layout)

How is this a joke? It’s literally just a weak book/movie reference.