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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

2mo ago

lemmy.ca user Is this true?

I am supportive of you being Canadian

44 comments

"What's your gender?"
"Canadian."
"No, who do you like?"
"Donuts."
"No no, what's in your pants?"
"Polite manners."
- "No, no, I'm talking about your genitals."
  "Oh, you mean Tim Horton's?"
  
  Fun fact: timbits were named so in honour of his fatal drunk driving car accident.
- "what's in your pants?"
  "a party you're not invited to"
  
  "a hockey knife"
- Doughnuts**
- As a Canadian, I know you are American from your spelling of doughnuts.
  
  Surprise, I'm both!
- I'm sorry
- A Simp, Got It.

We are sorry to hear you are disappointed with the Canadian gender identity. Please hold if you wish to express your concerns to one of our agents. Alternatively, courses on the benefits and challenges of being Canadian and what it means to be hockeysexual are available in English and French. Completion of the course grants access to free-but-slow healthcare and a $25 Tim Hortons gift card.
- Please hold if you wish to express your disappointment to one of our agents.
  I just want to say replacing fig leaves with maple leaves is rough because it leaves a bunch of sticky on your junk.
  
  Maple syrup on your junk is a proud Canadian Thanksgiving tradition.
- pour le service en français, appuyez sur le 2
  
  Why isn't the first option?

No worries

Huge missed opportunity: could have been God made Adam and Eve, not Maple and Leaf

There is no such thing as 'Canadian', it's just a phase!

Pretty sure he did say Adam and Moose.
- Hey, Adam; watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!
  
  I think he said moose and squirrel!
- Naah, Moose came later, he was the chap who came down from a mountain with a couple of iPads, then drove out of the desert in a Triumph, or something like that.
  
  The Book of Mormon is a wild ride.
- Wasn't she on YCDTOTV?

My pronouns are Canadian/Eh
- Buddy/guy here
  
  I am not your guy, friend!

LGBTQIAC
Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer Intersex Asexual Canadian

I'm guessing this is not a required demographic question in Canada.
- Might be a case where Canadian applicants submit another form that has the relevant information in a different format too.

I called out a form and one of the options was for diet. The choices were:
Omnivore, Vegetarian, Vogon.
- those scintillating, jeweled, scuttling crabs are good though.
- Just don’t allow them to recite poetry at you

- I'm an American. I actually like America, for what it's worth. Canada, however, has the superior anthem.

One assumes it's either customary or law not to ask if it's not relevant.

Is this Windows95?

Our country reeks of trees / our Yaks are really large
- And they smell like rotting beefcarcasses.

Probably just a cut and paste error, still funny.

44 comments