I packed cheese, beef jerky and some other stuff y'all recommended...

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This man's gonna shit on day one. Already calling it.
- do not jinx it.
  
  U/mizu I really hope you tell us the dang story after your poopless long weekend
  
  Good luck Godspeed and no poop
  
  Just try to make sure you don't eat a lot of any of these things. All well and good to choose the foods carefully but a gut full exclusively of food that is deliberately geared towards constipation is going to end very badly. Try to eat very little.

I will be following your journey with great interest. This should become Lemmy history. Also, I really wish you stay healthy, dude.
- You should find their post about eating five gummy worms. This will indeed be an epic journey.
  
  Man this is a wild ride already
- Glad to be here for the first true piece of Lemmy history o7
  
  o7

My dude, when your mom said you could be anything she didn't mean constipated.
- But(t) then she'd be lying.

After your 3 (hopefully poopless) days are over, will you pleeease tell us why? I hate the thought of never knowing.
- My best guess is some kind of festival. Three days with access to toilets, and who could blame them for wanting to avoid festival porta-potties?
  
  there are better solutions to dealing with festival toilets than avoiding pooping. my wife has built us our own portable solution that can even handle a shit. of course you have to immediately dispose of the bag if you do but it's a small price to pay for avoiding the public potties.
- Can't tell you why but I'll let y'all know how it went
  
  You were being smuggled out of your country, weren't you

Godspeed and may you succeed on your mysterious quest, poopless hero.

Then he discovers he has lactose intolerance.
- I've been drinking one glass of milk almost every single day for 12 years 👍
  
  Lactose intolerance is not a binary thing like an allergy. Instead, every human is lactose intolerant at a certain level. Meaning, there is a certain level of how much lactose you can tolerate. If you go beyond that, you will suffer the consequences.
  What people usually call lactose intolerance is actually a very low lactose tolerance. Even the most lactose intolerant person will be able to tolerate very small doses of lactose without issue. It's just that these doses might be much smaller than what an average person tolerates.
  So you know that you tolerate one glass of milk's worth of lactose per day. Are you planning to eat more for these three days? Then you are without promise.

Lemmy moment

I don’t know why people are doing this, and at this point I’m afraid to ask!
But I’m here for the chaos - good luck, I guess? o7
- If I had to guess, given the timing of this, he's probably on the Hajj. Around this time 1.5 million Muslims make a pilgrimage to fulfill one of the main tenants of the religion, to make a once in a lifetime pilgrimage to Makkah. This is tied to Eid that's coming in a few days.
  Where I suspect this ties in is, one of the steps in this journey is to stay in Mina, which is basically a tent city outside of Makkah. The bathroom facilities are lacking at best, specially if you are used to clean western style sitting toilets. It's not uncommon for people to walk back to their hotels and take care of business and walk back to their tents. Depending on where the hotel is and where your tent is, this could be a half hour to an hour walk. Let's just say if someone is very particular about the throne and is situated far from the hotel, fasting and going without food to reduce poop frequency seems like a very attractive option.
  In my experience, the bathrooms for the American and Canadian tents weren't too bad to use in a pinch. And I was blessed that my hotel was only a 15 mins walk, so my wife and I would walk over every morning, take a nice shower and freshen up and walk back (there is a recommended time requirement on how much of each day you can spend outside the boundary of the city). The food there was too tempting for me to go with the no poop route this brave soul is embarking on. (For context, they would have fresh squeezed juices, lamb and rice dishes as big as small cars, teas, coffees, and the sweets were amazing.... And it was all free!).
  Eid Al Adha-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eid_al-Adha?wprov=sfla1
  Hajj - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hajj?wprov=sfla1
  
  I just looked into the Wikipedia page and my journey is extremely similar to haj. Both in timing and the actual thing. But nope. Not haj.
- There was a post on asklemmy where someone asked how to go poopless for 3 days. No one knows why, but history has been made.
  
  Not just someone, but the same op as in this thread. I would love to hear (maybe not? ) what this is all about after the fact. As op clear states they do not want to disclose this now.
  
  it's the same guy posting this

It’s all about setting the right intention.
Every morning u go up to mirror.
U say “poop? No. I am bigger than that. Bigger than all poos”.
This will giv u the rectal stamina needed to stay strong. Strong like sphincter.
There is no poo. Loves n kisses.

The fact that I am more invested of the aftermath of this rather than current events says it all. Be safe OP

Good luck mizu6079 we are rooting for you!!!!
- Thanks a lot! I hope i make it out without a single brick escaping my hole.
  
  may your sphincter be tight and your vision clear!