2mo ago

Intrusive thoughts at the airport [Azul Crescent's silly scribbles]

Azul Crescent's silly scribbles

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But think how safe you would be if you did pack a bomb.
The odds of there being one bomb on a plane are tiny enough, but the odds of there being two bombs on a plane are vanishingly small...
- The only way to stop a bad guy with a bomb...
- You really need to pack one bomb for each family member really. Kid's bombs just help lower the odds to virtually zero.

Pack a bomb??
I'm worried about them randomly selecting my bag for drug inspection or the bag being tagged in the X-ray... And the TSA agents judging my bag packing method and skills
- I just wish I didn't have to take electronics out of my bag for security, doing all of this is already stressful.

Me at American Airports: Why the fuck do I have to take off my belt/shoes and throw away my water? They just let me walk into a crowded airport with this shit....
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_Brussels_bombings
  The solution to the airport being bombed right in front of the security line: while they rebuilt they packed everyone even tighter in temporary tents with longer queues. Then they rebuilt everything the same.
  Terrorists and security theater designers operate on the same logic: 30 dead in a security line is nowhere near as big of a deal as 30 dead in an airplane. You only become a high value target when you're 30k feet in the air, even if the end result is materially identical.
  
  30 dead in a security line is nowhere near as big of a deal as 30 dead in an airplane
  I understand your point, but the airplane usually has well over 100 people on it and itself can also fall out of the sky and hurt people that aren't on it
  Security theater is annoying bullshit that doesn't even catch a shocking number of shit, but planes get more attention for what should be obvious reasons
- And all those potentially explosive water bottles are sitting in a trash can at the security checkpoint.
  This indicates that they know full well that their are no explosives among them. It's just theatre.
- Because... Beyond this line, property is threatened. Planes are expensive. You can die in the front, we can rebuild that cheaply. But planes are expensive.
  Remember kids, if you see uniformed authority figures, they are there to protect property above all else.
- At this point, I'm really wondering if it's not a plot to sell water.
  
  They let you dump the water out, keep the bottle, and refill it at the bottle filling stations once you're inside.
- Earlier this year I had a connection in Doha, Qatar on my way to the US. I had to go through security twice even though it was a connection from another international flight (first was after getting off the first flight and the second was right before getting on second flight). Both times they took away all liquids, even those bought in the airport.
- That's not just in American airports.

*Don't say 'bomb'. Don't accidentally say 'bomb'. Don't say 'bomb'.
"Hey, I didn't bring a bomb! DOH!"

"did you pack this bag yourself?"
"Yes?"
"Then why is there a tactical nuclear warhead in the left pocket?"
"Ah shucks"
- It's 26 to 32 kg so it's its own piece of luggage https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/W54#/media/File%3ASADM_carry_bag.jpg

If you're traveling somewhere with extremely restrictive drug laws (e.g. Singapore), you can be sentenced to prison for drug particles on your shoes. i.e. you can accidentally have forbidden substances on you.
- Do they test everyone's shoes or do you just have to be extremely unlucky?
  
  I'd assume they're just doing the rounds with drug sniffer dogs. Those dogs have crazy sensitivity.

I always get concerned that somehow I have packed hard drugs (I don't do hard drugs.)
- For my next trick, I shall pull a condom full of coke out of your ass. I assure you we did not plant it ahead of time.

I have the reverse thing, after the check I'm like "I got away with it once again!", while packing absolutely nothing wrong.

More like "I sure hope I didn't pack a bottle of water by accident" (or any other liquit in a container of more than 100ml).

you're fine as long as you're not using a Galaxy Note 7.

I got tired of worrying about whether or not I packed a bomb and would be caught so I decided to just do so and get it over with.
In reality I just grabbed a 2 pound brick of scrapple wrapped it in wires that I soldered to a watch and stuck it in the middle of my backpack.
Got to enjoy my scrapple on the other side and felt far more confident about my future in scrapple smuggling.

Or just be non-white. Then you will know you are going to be selected for a special screening.

Me when someone is looking through my phone
- sure hope they don't see all the weird sex I've been having with their daughters

Or a knife
- I knew someone that unintentionally carried a switchblade in their carry-on bag to NYC, discovered that it was in their bag when they were unpacking at the hotel, and then intentionally carried it back home to Chicago in their same carry-on. Both times it passed through an x-ray machine without comment.
  This shit is all security theater. Look up how often Red Teams get guns, ammunition, and simulated explosive devices past TSA; you'll be unpleasantly surprised.
  
  simulated explosive devices
  And real ones too
  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FpN_RjIaVw8
- Or nail trimmers or a tennis ball
  
  You're not allowed to bring nail trimmers? I did...
- Or weed

Mine is a knife, reach in to entry pockets at TSA baggage xray, a moment where I'm afraid I'll pull out a giant knife
- I carry a pocket knife everywhere, so this one is a legit concern for me. It is as natural as putting on my clothes for me to put my knife in my pocket, so I'm always concerned that I accidentally put my knife in my pocket, despite being very intentional about leaving it behind. I paid $280 for the thing, so it would be a damned shame to lose it to stupid-ass TSA.
  
  Pack some prepaid package envelopes with your home as the destination. TSA got a problem with your nail clipper? Leave your favorite knife in your pocket by accident? Put it in the envelope and drop it in any USPS box.

There is no need to pack a bomb for a flight. Just buy the parts and ingredients you need to build one in the duty-free shop after the TSA security theater.
- Do they sell electrical switches, or lighters back there, or am I supposed to rub two sticks together to ignite it?
  
  You do not need any of this. You should know some chemistry and physics, but you can get everything you need to make a bang.

people who don't do drugs got it easy
- Here's something that made my life easier: always put it in the same pocket.

I don't care about bombs. I'm just thinking about not seeing my friends for 3 months, and that scares me more.
- The friendpilled visitmaxer

Did this on a flight to Venice. Except it was a large firecracker, but at a glance it looked like a half stick of dynamite. I still have no idea how I got away with it.
- The same way people board planes with loaded fire arms? The TSA is run by dumbfucks and is a waste of money.
  
  Should've specified this was Venice, Italy. Baggage screening was in the UK where they're very much not used to firearms/explosives in hand luggage.

I'm not necessarily worried about actually packing one, but I do feel nervous about saying the word out loud accidentally.
- I am sure Tourette's syndrome sufferers are sweating bullets. Or was it bombs?

Don't read this comic at the airport.

For me, it's all the suck brought on by a pathological fear (trauma) of authority figures abusing their power. In this case: TSA, and their ability to completely screw with your travel plans. To be clear, this is not rational and 100% nothing bad happens.
- As someone who goes through TSA several times a week. Nah fuck that, some of the smurfs are absolutely there to fuck your day up just because they can. I'd say about 60% of the officers are highly mediocre, about 30% are good, but that last 10% are just malicious.
  
  I cross a land border every day and this also describes CBP

More like "Did I really lock my front door?"

That this can and does ever happen to anybody is how you know the TSA is an abject failure of an organization.

Me with f*** ton of lithium ion batteries

Everytime
Not a word!

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