True dat

I just realized that the examples in the meme leave out an important part of the ensemble: calf-high white tube socks with multicolor bands at the top.
If you're gonna rock it, rock it all the way.
- I don't have those, so that. That stops me from doing that.

We grew up watching those dudes get butchered in increasingly-grotesque ways by a diverse conglomeration of psychotic murderers and animals, both natural and supernatural.
I'm good with my plain black t-shirt that's long enough to serve as a dress because I'm fat and need uberlength shirts to make it over the curvature of my Moo Deng pregnancy and still have enough fabric left over to not leave me looking like I'm wearing a cummerbund made from pale hairy human skin.
Fat guy dress > being split vertically, starting at the willy, by an industrial saw because I unknowingly spent a summer afternoon in a swimming hole that once hosted a cruel gang of teenagers who pretended to befriend a lonely man with a deformity and subsequently caused him to drown in it by shoving him off the rocks into the water even though they knew he couldn't swim.

I work IT in a construction yard and dont like the oil and slurry shit getting on my thighs when I have to fix the internet in the wash bay. Weekends are fair game but I'm a twink not a hunk so the pull off is different.
- What exactly do you do on the job? I'm more curious than anything. Doing fiber/Ethernet runs?
  
  This is a special case cause no one listens to me and I document that not listening. But the fuel island terminal needs a wired connection, wireless solutions do not play well. So my company ignores me and buys wireless connectors. They go down. Instead of trenching and running a cable like I tell them, they've bought hundreds of feet of Ethernet and every time a truck runs over the Ethernet cable to the fuel island I run out there and make a new one to run. It happens once a week.

Beer belly
- And my sagging balls.
  
  Eh, just throw them over your shoulder and you're good to go.
- I don't drink or eat a lot of carbs, I am trim and lean. But I still wouldn't dress like that simply because bare midriff doesn't look good on men unless you're fully trying to imitate the 80's movie aesthetic for laughs.

I don't want to look at my disgusting flesh-body and I'd rather nobody else saw it either. Rebuild me shiny and chrome, then we'll talk about showing off.
- Rebuild me shiny and chrome
  Steel and circuits will make you whole.

I mean, my big fat body, mostly.
- There are a lot of women that love fat guys. Ignoring the haters and wearing what you like is hot AF.
  I'm gay, but if I were straight I would be with a fat guy over any other guy, 100%.

I don’t want to disappoint gay guys.
Gents, this is not for you; it’s for her. 🙂
- if i dressed like that, she would probably injure herself laughing.

My wife.
- Your wife is the opposite of mine. She's always trying to get me to wear tighter, skimpier clothing. I'm a product of the 90s; I like my oversized t-shirts and baggy jeans, okay?
  
  She's fine with tighter shirts, but those hot-pants? Nah, she hates them and threatens to cut them into pieces when I talk about buying a pair, even though they look so comfortable.

I'm from the 80's and nobody wants to see someone my age dressed like that.
- I have also traveled here from the 80's and I'm here to tell you one thing:
  That sounds like their fucking problem. If that's all that is stopping you then you get your tiny gym shorts and crop top, friend.
- Ugh true :(