Parents are often told it takes a village to raise a child. So, where is it?
Parents are often told it takes a village to raise a child. So, where is it?
10 comments
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As a Canadian parent, yes, this is true. The closest we get to "a village" is sending our kids for a playdate at a friend's place.
My grandmother had stories about how she'd keep an eye on all the kids on her street, and the other parents would do the same. That wasn't our experience in downtown Ottawa.
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I think part of the issue is the individualistic culture of Ottawa. Everyone just minds their own business to a fault here.
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We lived downtown, so there weren't a lot of kids around. I'm hoping the burbs will be better.
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What about those parents whose precious children can do no wrong and when part of "the village" tries to discipline them for acting out, or tries to rescue them because they ran willy-nilly into traffic, the parent freaks out and threatens to sue the "helper" for daring to touch/talk to/look at their child the wrong way.
If you want "the village" to help, don't freak out on them and then whine that you've got no help.
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Especially for middle aged men .... my wife and I have no children and I feel I shouldn't go anywhere near anyone's children for fear I might get accused of something - anything. An accusation is enough to ruin my life so I actively, always do my best to absolutely avoid everyone else's children everywhere. It's to the point now where I see children who are not part of my family as dangerous now. If I ever see a child in danger or odd situation ... I'm calling the police and I will never go anywhere near any kind of situation.
I have about 30 nieces and nephews of my own but I don't live near them ... but they are about the only children I spend time with.
Why would I want to be part of your village if an accusation is liable to destroy my life?
Even writing this comment makes me nervous and unsettled ... it's the culture we've created and now no one wants to have much to do with anyone's children, whether they are doing anything good, bad, safe, dangerous, playful or deceitful.
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I feel like you're looking for a reason to be angry here
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Today's equivalent of a village is living very close to at least one set of competent grandparents and having at least 2–3 close friends with kids around the same age who you can call up and drop off your kids at a moment's notice.
It's hard to pull off, but it is possible with a good deal of social skills, luck and a willingness/ability to relocate.
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I would need to relocate my parents for that, because they live in the middle of nowhere and I needed to relocate to a city for work.
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I grew up with great-grandparents and grandparents in my home. I loved always having an adult to play with. That's the only "village" I see possible.
10 comments