That's rough, buddy.

I feel personally attacked.

As we grow older, our circle of friends becomes smaller. This is natural. For most people, their largest number of friends will be at school/college/military due the nature of the environment. Once you leave, your friends will be your co-workers, housemates, neighbours. As you grow older, many of them will die off. Eventually, you will be left alone, save for your spouse and children. Such is life.

This hit me so hard my phone screen cracked

If these are my golden years I can’t imagine what shit is waiting for me in the future

At best these are pewter years

I didn't have any friends in school, high school or college and of course I wouldn't break the tradition even if I knew how to

This hits me in the feels.

From geek to geek, the transition is complete.

Oh. It's me.

Maury the results are in you are the geek father lady jumps up I told you removed I told you

I found my people.

Good news is that you're almost certainly not the father.

what years are supposed to be golden?

Golden as a golden shower