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  • Been sick for 13 days, went in to urgent care yesterday because it had progressed to a sore throat in the last few days and turns out it's strep. Glad I'm on antibiotics and hoping to feel better soon.

  • Some good, some more bad. But slowly regaining myself and my free time. Been too damn hectic.

  • had some really icky back pain last week, so i've been trying to do yoga in the mornings before work.

    jean got another title and i fostered a puppy over the weekend.

    picked up a dog bike trailer yesterday from a friend, and i started teaching echo (border collie) how to sit/stand/lay calmly in it this afternoon in the driveway. hoping she will enjoy it!

  • Lil bit of a bummer, feels like I just exercise, work, and sleep. My limited free time has been spent on my family, which.... ughhhh by the time I realized they mistreated me all my life and I hate them, they'd lost power over me, so basically they're not pushing me around anymore and think we're all friends, and I don't know how to tell them that I'm retroactively spiteful. So I play nice.

    Gonna try so hard to get some reading and drawing done in the coming days.

    • feels like I just exercise, work, and sleep

      I feel that. If you have a job that gives you a balance of days off, make sure you are using those! I know i have been bad about that in the past and it contributed to burnout.

      I realized they mistreated me all my life and I hate them...I don’t know how to tell them that I’m retroactively spiteful

      This is really hard. I don't know your whole situation, but this seems like the kind of situation where you will never really get to share your feelings with them unless they realize they made mistakes that they should apologize for. Otherwise, sharing your emotions seems like it'll just lead to more mistreatment. But that's just my two cents, and I'm no professional. I hope that reading and drawing is restorative for you ❤

  • Bleeeh 🤷 Really wishing I could play certain games. Am missing ESO really hard latelish 😅 Money concerns getting real nasty. Bills piling up upon themselves. Local cash assistance stuff has been unhelpful and I don't know what to do about that. Finally got a therapist... who seems to be just kinda going through paperwork with nothing to say of her own and no actually listening/talking to me. Just, y'know, filling out forms kinda stuff. For hours at a time @.@ Idunno if it's really supposed to be like this for the first several appointments but I just feel like I'm not going to get any actual help from her. I think my way forward right now is to get onto SSI and see a psychiatrist and a therapist who's actually good for me, but I'm kinda afraid to say any of that to her (and make myself look like I'm just looking for free money or something, and... Idunno just vibes-wise, I guess, I feel like she's not exactly eager to help) and don't know what else to do 🤷 :-\ So I'm just kinda stuck in this "Well, now what?" spot trying not to think about how unlikely it is that I'll be able to escape more awful messness. Even having debt collectors to look forward to sounds like torture, given some of my problems.

    Bleh. Very bleh! Double bleh with an ugh on top. Also maybe a little grr. frusses noisily, then skitters into a nearby cloud 😶‍🌫️

    Edit: Oh, and I've got some kinda spot like I oopsed up a rib or something and it hurts a lot when I sneeze D: Also hurts when I move some ways. Unfun!

    • Finally got a therapist… who seems to be just kinda going through paperwork with nothing to say of her own and no actually listening/talking to me. Just, y’know, filling out forms kinda stuff. For hours at a time @.@ Idunno if it’s really supposed to be like this for the first several appointments but I just feel like I’m not going to get any actual help from her.

      It is not supposed to feel like that. Sorry to hear that! My first therapist was not the best for me, but even still I remember being excited and energized about therapy after the very first session and many more after. I think your goal of finding a NEW therapist is a smart one! I'm sorry about the struggles you are going through, I hope it turns around soonish ❤

      What's preventing you from playing ESO?

      • Thankies! Calling and going are hugely difficult for me so finding and setting up with a new one is gonna be rough. ... If I can even bring myself to do it :-\ Bleeegh!

        Can't play ESO because I've only got my laptop and it just cannot run the game playably. Had to leave my (rather old but still vaguely capable) gaming box when I fled a few months ago. wobble Something that makes it even worse is knowing I could easily lose interest instantly upon loading the game back up 😅 Something I've put a lot of time into tends to fail to hold interest no matter how much I feel like I'll love getting back into it, once I've left it. ... I lose interest pretty quickly, unfortunately. Have to have new ways of doing things or I have no interest in doing them even if they're new things. Finishing games is hard for me because there's usually no growing or (mechanical) learning left to do at the end :-\

36 comments