I've invented a 100% efficient combustion engine

I use it to heat my house.

5 comments

Ive been testing combustion engines made of wood but keep getting more energy out than I put in...
Lisa, in this meme we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
Sorry, I’m a bit dumb for this one.

Could someone please explain?
- There's no such thing as a 100% efficient "engine". But in this case, since the waste heat is put to use (heating the house), OP thinks there's a loophole.
  
  But, house would also need to be soundproof. Any noise leaking to the outside is lost energy.
  
  Ah, but that’s by design: it also acts as a soothing white noise machine.
  
  Then you might point out the exhaust and all it’s associated wastes, but that’s by design: it produces a heady and aromatic product for recreational huffing.
  
  Then you might point out the vibrations, but that’s by design: the engine also provides invigorating massages to relax taut muscles.