Skip Navigation

Asklemmy @lemmy.ml

HeyMrDeadMan @lemmy.world

2y ago

Men who piss on the toilet seat in public restrooms, the fuck is wrong with you?

Who hurt you as a child?

152 comments

My guesses:
Intoxication: They're drunk or high enough that they're not neurologically capable of aiming; the fact that they managed to get it out of their pants at all is astonishing.
Narcissism: They're very important assistant sales managers, talking on their phone through the whole transaction, and aren't paying attention to what they're peeing on; just as they don't remove their dirty dishes from the office meeting rooms after a lunch meeting. Aren't the help supposed to do that?
Helplessness and/or disgust: The toilet was already filthy when they came in, and they didn't think they were making it any worse.
Peevishness: They got yelled at by a scary janitor once for sticking gum under desks.
- Don’t forget fragile masculinity and not wanting to sit down to piss because that’s how women do it.
  
  Oh, you've got a behavior there, but the wrong motivation.
  I sit at home, but I don't sit on public toilets precisely because dudes have been whizzing all over the seat.
  
  Ahhh you're trying to culture war this when the actual reason is way more sensible and boring than that. Why sit on a potentially dirty toilet seat when you don't have to? Why even squat above it when you don't have to? It's laziness / efficiency, dear, not.... 🤣🤣🙄... fragile masculinity.
  
  Fuck that, I love sitting down to piss. It's like a free break AND I get to let the boys out for a few minutes?
  The only times I won't are when the bathroom is already filthy, or the toilet water is too high and my junk goes for a dunk if I sit.
  
  removed.
- there's also the legendary twin stream
- You're forgetting misfires can happen soon after ejaculation (and probably other things).
- Could be some sort of health condition maybe? Like, they had to have a spray nozzle grafted to their urethra?
  
  I sometimes switch mine to mist on accident.

Related question, why the fuck do some people feel it necessary to grunt, moan, pant, and otherwise loudly vocalize while shitting? Zero people want to hear you, shut the fuck up, you are gross.
- May you be lucky enough to never find out why. Those are not voluntary sounds.
  
  Amen brother. Hit 35 after gallbladder removal. I'll never poop silently again.
  
  I still don't buy it. I've had shits where I feel like I'm about to pop a blood vessel and still don't feel a need to vocalize it. My brother has severe IBS and shitting is basically torture for him the way he tells it, still never hear any yelling coming from the bathroom.
- People don't do that for fun haha
  Just pray you never have a poop they generates them.
- My guess is humans all have different digestive experiences. I never understood magazines and reading on the shitter. I’m in and out under a few minutes, while I take it some don’t have as flowing of a digestive track?
  
  Apparently people need to eat way more fiber or something.
- They're charging up their ki in there obviously
- I have constipation problems and I can't stop myself from making those noises, they just kinda come out. Very rude you're just assuming everyone who grunts and makes noises while shitting is doing it on purpose just to annoy you
- Most pain I've ever experienced was on a toilet. I could not keep quiet.
- Bro, keep eating good fibre and you'll never know. People do this because they're blind to the consequences of their shitty diet. Every sodie and highly processed white flour hamburger bun provides them with copious energy and almost zero fiber.
- Shut the fuck up and hear me roar mother fucker.

- I've always wondered, how on earth do people manage to put poop in walls? Our assholes literally point downwards. Some people really bother me.
  Edit: a word
  
  It's umm...usually people who run out of toilet paper, or can't find it, or don't want to use it, in whatever state of mind they're in :/
  
  This is taking asklemmy to bold new places. 😂

This is more of a rant isn't it
- I'll admit, I typed it while dropping a deuce in the absolutely filthy restrooms at The Florida Mall.
  
  Shitting in a Florida mall. Some people skydive, others free climb, then there's you.
  
  The things we sacrifice to visit CrayolaWorld 😔
  
  That sounds like playing Russian roulette with a pistol, lol. Only bad experiences allowed. A mall bathroom is already dicy, but in florida? Glutton for punishment, haha.
- I mean we don't have a /c/ for that yet, so might as well be here.

I use the sink so no one can blame me for the toilet seat
- I use the little drains on the floor so I don't have to aim as high

It’s not just men and unfortunately it’s not just piss.

It's not exactly an open-ended question but you seem to be having fun with it. Leaving the post up.
- I've been trying to AskReddit this for seven years, but it always got deleted. It's a legitimate question!
  Not very high brow I'll grant you, but legitimate.

I did a practicum in a federal prison for a year and somehow my supervisor and I got onto the topic of bathroom use (probably just talking about the reality of incarcerated live). I'll never forget it because it was such a candid moment for him when he said: real thugs sit. Nothing else added, just let it be said like that. People that don't clean up after themselves definitely grinds my gears.
- Or just fuckin lift it before you start spraying your pathetic dehydrated weak prostate stream everywhere.
- I don't want to sit on public toilets because people piss on the seat, man.
  
  You ain’t licking your butt. Think about all the other things you sit on and then go sit in your house or touch your pants afterwards. Even wiping your hands on your pants after washing them

I've thought about this a lot over the years, I think it's just as simple as "all care, no responsibility" meaning if the average punter goes into a public toilet and somebody hasn't cleaned up after themselves (mistakes happen) then that dude sure as shit isn't going to clean up but he still needs to go therefore he'll do his best to be clean but if he has to do some sort of gymnastics to keep himself clean then so be it and if the toilet gets messier as a result of those gymnastics then so be it, the cycle continues.
I used to hate urinals and I still don't like them, but I understand the reason behind it, people are animals when it's not their property.

As men get older, it becomes more challenging to initiate urination. As a result, the distance the urine stream travels at the beginning becomes unpredictable.
On the other hand, towards the end of urination, the stream becomes weaker and may cause post-dribbling. This also increases the chances of hitting the toilet seat.
Failing to clean the toilet seat afterward is simply pure rudeness though.
- Why would you need to clean the seat? Does noone else LIFT the seat beforehand?
  
  You should still clean the rim.
- Just sit down.
  
  …on a public toilet seat. I ain’t touching most of them, much less sitting on them, so oh yeah, yeah, no.
- Skill issue, git gud
  
  Seriously, this thread has been a real boost to my ego. You guys suck at peeing.
  
  They must not have the DLC

Are we entirely sure no women are squatting and also creating this problem? Because I have witnessed exactly that phoenomenon occur in a bathroom before while attending the restroom with previous partners.
- Yeah, women's restroom have piss on the seats, too. They squat to pee, and there is no aim.
  Turns out, both women and men can be gross and not clean up after themselves
- No, some of us have piss poor aim, and more commonly sudden bouts of inaccuracy and spread.
  
  No you misunderstand, I didn't say "only." I actually said "also."

true story. my son has a bit of a phobia for public toilets and one day I was out with him and his sister in the city, riding ferry etc. I could see around lunchtime he needed to go, but he refused as he usually does. after lunch it was obvious he really needed to go and wouldn't make it back home in time (1.5 hour train ride plus time to get back to the station). there was a nicish public toilet at Manly Beach and I walked him in, he had agreed to try as he was clearly desperate.
but he decided no he couldn't go.
so we catch the ferry back to Sydney. again I asked to take him into the toilet as it was quite nice, but he refused. as we got to the train station, there was no excuse. he was bursting. had to go and had no choice. took him into the toilet. it was without a doubt, handsdown, the worst I had EVER been into. there was shit in the floors, smeared on walls, on the frikken toilet seats. piss everywhere. he had no choice. thankfully there was toilet paper.
I cleaned the seat as best as I could with toilet paper. he went.
we disinfected the shit out of both ourselves when we finally got home.
As for OPs question, some people are just plain animals
- Worst I ever saw was a porta-potty on China Beach in San Francisco.
  My wife was the one that couldn't wait any longer. I went in there and spent 10 of the most vile minutes of my life arranging to make it usable. I won't try to describe it other than to say it was overflowing with solids and looked as though it had been on its side at some point.
  To this day my wife uses that as the benchmark of what a good husband does for their wife. If she has a girl friend that thinks their boyfriend or husband loves them she'll say "Yes, but would he do this..." and tells that story

It's so universal too, it's like I have to clean every single toilet seat before I use it.

Men? Have you heard about the women's?

Can we not bring over these ranty non-questions from reddit please

Also wash your hands afterwards! The pandemic should have highlighted the importance of basic hygiene.
- The pandemic taught me that 90% of public restrooms will leave my hands dirtier than when I started, and risk further infection than if I just go in, piss, don't touch anything and then front kick that door open.
  
  If take a shit do I still need to wash my hands?
  
  I did this during the pandemic in a crowded public bathroom, and people fucking stared at me like I was insane. Granted I used a stall like a urinal, and might have kicked some stuff, but a lot of them weren't wearing masks so...

Some men will be experiencing problems such as “hesitation” (they step up to wee but nothing happens for a few seconds), a poorer stream than they’re used to and “terminal dribbling” (they think they’ve finished but quite a few drops of urine continue to dribble out - in addition to hitting the toilet seat it might drip into their underwear when they put their penis away). They might even have problems with needing to go very often or all of a sudden.
Symptoms like these can mean that there’s a problem with urine being able to flow out of the bladder easily. One thing that can cause this would be a problem with the bladder, but it could also be a problem with the prostate. You don’t have to be super old for this to start happening.
Regardless it is worth getting symptoms like this checked out with a doctor and making sure it’s not something serious; even if it isn’t, there might be treatment that can help with the symptoms.
Should still wipe the seat when done, or have a tissue handy to catch the drops before they get anywhere.
- If you encounter the said 'hesitation', do some calculation. Solve 3x-4=12 in your head. Flow starts immediately. You can thank me later

Worse than that, we had a guy essentially miss the toilet while taking a shit in our work washroom. It was this larger construction worker and he must have sat down wrong somehow and shit went everywhere on and under the toilet seat. Guess who didn't try cleaning up and left without saying a word? Fuck that was nasty...

i love marking my territory

This is why I think everyone should sit down and pee
- Amen

There was this guy at work that would pee on the floor instead of in the toilet, at a frequency of maybe once or twice a week. Never would own up to it and made everyone else clean it up.
He must have gotten his jollys from it, was on too many rx drugs to notice, or had some malicious intent going on.
Never found out who it was, everytime I had a hunch the guy would quit or get fired and it kept up. Thank God I started working from home. Ugh
- Have you checked your carbon monoxide alarm? Maybe it was you?
  
  Nah. I only leave a trickle down the side at the most. And I ALWAYS make sure to clean it up.
  Unless your incapacitated, it's just not right to leave it for someone else to do.
- That's the thing: it was always a new person. Cut the head off of one snake only for another to appear.
  
  Dude, that would be so beyond. Some ritual offering that has to take place to appease the diety that that keeps our shite company in business. Here, we offer you, o' holy one, some...piss. Come to think of it, it did start after the buyout.
  There would be a special place in hell for those guys.
  Nah, it just shows I'm really just a bad judge of character, and slightly prejudiced. Just cause the guy can't see his dick while he's tinkling, doesn't mean he can't aim.

Already know the answer, but how do women even possibly piss on the toilet seat? It SHOULD be physically impossible, unless I’m an idiot and doing it wrong.
- It’s because some women squat on the seat instead of sitting on it. Which gets the seat dirty which makes women squat so they don’t touch the dirty seat, which gets it dirty, ad infinitum.
  
  Totally. As I said, I always knew the answer. In fact, I said it on the place that shall not be named, and all the seat pissers all got their panties in a bunch. Which got them all trying to flame me.
  Still gross.

I’ve thought about this more than I’m willing to admit. My theory is that men are scratching their bits while urinating and it causes excessive splatter. 😷
- Who the fuck does this tho
  
  People with bacterial infections, or… I don’t know, it’s nasty.
  
  People with itchy balls, who do you think?

It’s not just public restrooms. I work in an SMALL ALL office building where 75% of the workers are remote and the people who don’t are not low-paid workers and STILL men piss everywhere in the bathroom here too. It’s insane how stupid and selfish our society is.

we stand and pee, sometimes it splatters
- Then dry it with a piece of toilet paper. I don't want to clean your piss nor sit on it.
- That's why we clean up after ourselves or sit the fuck down if we can't :)
  
  Sometimes it's not visible plus terrible lighting

There was hair/lint on my dick and I had to go too bad to check before letting rip.
I don't leave the piss there, though.

You should see when someone pisses on top of the urinal. Thats a real treat.
- https://youtube.com/watch?v=bjVNOGEWzv4&feature=share8
  
  Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=bjVNOGEWzv4&feature=share8
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.

it isn't that I do it on purpose but when I put it back, there might be a couple of rogue drops that land on the seat
- Wipe them up with paper, throw in the toilet, flush.
  Do the bare minimum
  
  not my business lol

God forbid a sharp shooter should have to lift the seat or sit down... That's down right in American and communist.

I agree with the sentiment, but this feels like a complaint more than anything.

152 comments