I recently had to stop taking my vyvanse due to some bad side effects and holy shit I forgot how bad this was. I can't do anything. I have so much shit I need to do but I sit down to do it and it genuinely fills me with dread. I am just staring at my computer. Even getting to the webpage I needed took hours of convincing. This is horrible, even caffeine isn't helping. What do y'all do? How do you manage?
Honestly? Forty years of practice, anxiety spikes, external motivations positive and negative, fugue states... and I'm still barely getting by. I just paid $600 of late fees because I forgot to file my state income tax ten years ago. I'm sure I did them when I did my federal, I just... never sent it in? I guess???
I have been raw dogging life without meds almost my entire life. There was a 2 year period in high school I did speed, and then when I went to community college my wife shared her meds with me. The other 40ish years have taught me how to deal.
I have alarms for everything throughout my day. I have a routine. I have specific places to put certain things. When I deviate I am screwed.
Same. Lots of systems and a place for everything. EG if I leave the room and want to remember what I was doing when I got back, it'll be the one thing that's out of place and somewhere obvious. Unfortunately, it's easily thrown off by others who forget to put stuff back.
What's your relationship with travel? I struggle to pack up and mobilize so many systems. It's been getting better as I develop travel-specific solutions (like having a dedicated toiletries bag that remains packed).
If I travel alone I am okay. I list what I need to take with me. If I travel with my family, I am horrible and yell and scream at every little thing that goes wrong as we are leaving. Once traveling I am fine, it is the leaving that is the issue.
I wish you the best of luck, it took me years to get the right diagnosis and then about 7 months to get the appointment with a doc to prescribe me some meds.
My current psychiatrist doesn't want to prescribe me any stimulants because of the potential for abuse. For the record, I have no, uh, record of drug use. I don't even fucking drink. I get the caution, but it's deeply frustrating.
It literally felt like I was try to fill a bucket with sand and the only shovel I had was a sieve.
I'd literally have to wake up 5-6 hours before I had to be anywhere just to make sure I could finish my breakfast and coffee before leaving. And then I'd still more often than not finish eating or drinking my coffee in the car on the way.
I feel you on the "Having to stop a med because of the side effects," before I was diagnosed with ADHD I was diagnosed with anxiety and I tried about a dozen different meds for it ovwr the years before calling that off and just going unmedicated. Funnily enough after my ADHD diagnosis and getting on the meds I am now (Straterra) I've only had 1 panic attack in the last year vs one a week or so. And I'm able to start and finish tasks. It's fucking witchcraft.
I don't. I vaguely function for months on end, eventually get overwhelmed and panicky, then consume excessive amounts of caffeine and giggle to myself till the caffeine crash hits and I'm too tired to think.
Routine, write down EVERYTHING (because anything verbal doesn't register for me), and struggle through it.
I've been trying for years to find the right medication, I don't even know the name of the one I just had to stop due to severe insomnia and dizzy spells. Which has been the theme for every single one where the dizzy spells are so bad, it's no better than my scatterbrained ADHD brain.
Yes, even Vyvanse made me very dizzy; I was so hopeful for that one..
I recently had to stop taking my vyvanse due to some bad side effects and holy shit I forgot how bad this was
FYI you are probably also dealing with withdrawal in addition to being unmedicated. Getting off of meds after having been on them is a very different experience from never having been medicated.
I used to use caffeine but i stopped a few years ago. During the pandemic i went on adderall because i was struggling to help my kids do online school. I stopped adderall because i moved and adhd'd away my therapist.
Mostly i cope with routine. I eat the same foods for breakfast and lunch most days. I work on unmasking and being radically honest about my struggles with adhd to people around me. I setup auto billpay as much as possible and i cycle through the same few hobbies so i dont waste too much money.
I've recently found that sleep is very important to my body's needs. If my sleep cycle is fucked then my symptoms get wild.
caffeine tolerance increases very quickly, so one has to constantly increase the dose for it to be effective. I am currently trying to get a diagnosis after procrastinating for too long on that (why the hell does getting help to overcome my problems require me to overcome my problems). Not sure how caffeine exactly works in adhd brains but for me as how i understand it works in neurotypical also it should be possible to reverse the tolerance for caffeine by spending 2-5 days without any. Having gone through that i can say you need to be prepared to just lay in bed for that time.
Yeah I've been thru a couple periods of avoiding caffeine and you can definitely tell when it wears off. About 5 days seems to reset most of my tolerance.
Lots of coffee in the morning and thc at night is the only way for me. I walked away from actual medication years ago because I couldn't afford it anymore.
Chaining dozens of coping methods together helps a little bit, including:
strictly working with lists. When I do it and it's not on the list & checked off, it doesn't count as done. What's not on the list doesn't get done
implementation intention: Since my brain refuses "must do now" situations, use a trigger like: "If it's not done by 8 p.m., work on it with a stopwatch for 15 minutes"
for the list, turn everything into a module. Instead of "do the kitchen", have subitems like "collect all garbage", "sort by food / non-food", "clean surface 1/2/3/floor". For studying & work, a module is always 25 or 50 minutes of full focus, no distractions. When I have to get up to get water or pee, it counts as failed and is not checked off
Thanks! For my kid, I gamify it up a notch: His life works on "quests" such as 10 minute room cleaning, letter to a grandparent, 10 minute reading, homework etc., for which he gains loot boxes. Those are little physical boxes containing a made-up currency and other small rewards such as candy, 5 cents - $ 1 real money (his only way to get allowance!), stickers etc. The made-up currency can buy prices such as puzzles, books, toys. About 2 - 3 times per year, there is a legendary coin in it which can be traded for a huge price worth $ 50 - $ 100.
Not sure if saving him or messing up his reward system, but the stuff gets done and he's doing great!
Shame External motivation!
A friend stopped by yesterday and i havent cleaned so fast in such a long time. lmao
Im also preparing to invite a woman into my life and i am not able to do so if I'm a disaster. So i still have more cleaning to do but I've made progress!
Therapy? I react badly to all ADHD medications so I am not medicated for it. What has helped me the most is working through things with a therapist who also helped me with implementing coping mechanisms. Things like pomodoro method (this got me through college!), organizers at “drop spots,” and learning how to self talk made a huge difference for me. It is not impossible to do well without meds…it is just harder.
I run on auto pilot most of the time. I can't forget something I didn't remember to do to begin with. Double, triple, and quadruple check. The double check to be sure and the tripe and quadruple check because I forgot I've already double-checked.
As someone who can't medicate my ADHD, even with caffeine because they all either don't help or interfere with my panic disorder which is much, much more debilitating, it is... Not great, but I've mostly found a lifestyle that works for me. I've found careers that I can handle. Maintaining a household alone is... Very rough under the circumstances but it is what it is.
All that said, HIGHLY recommend staying active enough that you are tired at the end of the day and having an alarm clock with a bright light on it, or a dawn simulation ideally with smart lighting, a special alarm clock, or a diy solution with a full spectrum lamp and an aquarium timer (guess which one I did during college). Maintaining a good schedule and waking up in the AM feeling at least reasonably well rested is paramount, everything else goes to hell if that isn't maintained, and if I'm not physically active during the day, no amount of melatonin will get me to sleep within a routine.
Light alarm clock sure is a game changer. Isn't there something that is primarily an anti-depressant, but also works with panic disorder and ADHD? I just know that there are many where 2 of the 3 overlap. But sure, a stimulant would be bad for you.
I have strangely also been in states, over years, where caffeine induces panic. In hindsight, it might have been as simple as a magnesium deficit, but no doctor bothered to check.
I've even had benzo prescriptions over years, and cut it down to 0 with relatively high magnesium supplements. Not saying it is the same in your case, extremely unlikely even, just the general concept that something has been missed.
I suppose I cope by having almost 40 years of coping mechanisms that I use to keep me mostly okay. I let my mind fugue in the morning when I wake up. I have a routine that I try to stick to. I have a job that allows me to hyper focus on problems and get the dopamine hit from solving those problems. I don't have to interact with others for the most part to do my job. I spend a lot of time at home, use ear plugs, or headphones etc. if I can't make my mind focus I try to do something else. I take breaks. I set alarms for just about everything. And reminders. So many reminders. I also have a very supportive partner. I'm sure there's other stuff I had to learn to do to mask that I'm forgetting. But for the most part things just work because I put a lot of work into making them work and even then I am not always successful.
Under fifty, maybe 800+ mg daily. Over 50, maybe 200, depending on other risk factors. Oddly, it seems to affect the femoral shaft, and not notably others. Everyone should do a refresher on Rush factors, but especially AFAB, and small framed people.
I was on vyvanse for years. And I slept about probably 4 hours a night on average. I had to go to adderall. It doesn't work as well, but it does work, and usually I can sleep.
Its a bit embarassing lol but I guess its fine. I was one 70mg and noticed somwtimes it'd be hard to pee, like I really had to strain and all I got was a week stream that cut in and out sometimes. For a few months I said fuck it I guess its a shitty side effect I will have to deal with being at such a high dose so I just ignored it and went on with life. Then a few days ago I felt some pelvic pressure around the bladder and began to leak semen. Like just a dribble but definitely not something I want and the pelvic pressure was pretty uncomfortable. This all occured around the peak of the meds. My guess rn is that I have an underlying issue with my prostate that is exacerbated by these meds for one reason or another. I also lost a 6-10 lbs over the summer (pounds I needed tbh I don't weigh a ton) which might also have something to do with it.
Damn brother, sorry to hear that. When I was on straterra I had some similar issues. Leaked semen, and a couple of times right after I started taking it there was blood in the semen (???). It was not a good medication for me, but many people do well on it.
Wishing you the best in finding something you replace it.
Before i even knew i had it, caffeine. One cup of coffee and maybe a soda per day. No more or otherwise it'd make me tired. Its no replacement for meds but other things helped too like keeping notes, getting enough sleep, excerising, and one of the things i still do today, taking the frustration out of daily tasks.
If something bugs you a lot or stops you from being productive, find a way to make it easier or at least less annoying. Problem solve. Its one of my biggest drivers for dopamine hits and making your life easier by just getting rid of little annoyances makes it easier to function overall.
All that said, like others mentioned, I didn't function well before meds. Honestly i feel like i got off easy but its not really helpful to compare your situation to others.
Childhood trauma, caffeine, nicotine. And some positive feedback I have routines. I have a routine for getting ready in the morning, I have a routine for when I come home, I have a routine for night time. When the weekend comes if I have things to do I just load up on caffeine. My work day is filled with schedules and timelines.
Only way to get through dread is to go through with it. If you want something to stop, finish it. I have pretty light adhd, but for me it was like steeling my mind before base jumping. Sometimes you don’t want to do something. You’re scared or tired but you must FORCE yourself to do it. I have a mantra that kind of helps me. I tell my self that I must do what must be done. And kind of make the action feel like it is inevitable like I will do it even if I don’t want too.
I have had a lot, but I didn't find it very helpful for ADHD, and genuinely prohibitively expensive for someone like me who has no idea how to make money. It felt like I was spending all my money talking about my broken leg, if that makes sense.
Have you been able to try Adderall? The only thing ever found helpful besides caffeine is coffee fruit extract. It’s the active ingredient in Neuriva for instance, but there are alternatives online as well. It’s not a great improvement, but it s something I think.