Skip Navigation

Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

5mo ago

Shart, not fart

202 comments

Condom, never used.
- Used mine twice.

Musk still rich

My Arch broke.
- Use nixos
  
  btw

Back to work.
- Here's our winner.
  
  Back to office.

Reddit still going.

For sale: baby
- shoes never worn
  
  You forgot the comma after shoes but: bingo, that's the one!
- Boy or girl?

Aufenthaltserlaubnisverlängerungsantragsfrist verpasst.
- German is cheating!

In our bed?!

Alarm clock ringing

Liberty is kil
- no

Four more years.

Good dog, stay.
- You fucker :(
  
  I made myself sad writing that.

I loved you
- "She preferred him."
  I don't think I like this game.

Donald Trump exists
- It said a sad story, not a fucking nightmare. There might be kids reading this, don't scare them!
  
  It's a German fairytale. (I wish.)

Actually, it's GNU/Linux
- I love to say this sassily and where it doesn't fit just because "guh noo" sounds funny
- That's not sad.
  
  it's a glimpse into a sad life

endless economic growth
- Malignant profit-driven cancer.

"a sad story"
- And here we have the iq test high scorer.

The condom broke.

Need baby shoes?
- That you, Hemmingway?
  
  Yes, it's an abridgement of the most mundane 6 word story:
  For sale: baby shoes, too small.
  
  then who was shoe?
  
  *Hemmmingway
- Stained baby shoes

deleted by creator

Trump's third term.
- This is more of a horror story

You tested positive.

It wasn't milk
- Non-Milk Substance

We never learn

Squeezing cheeks. Urgent!

Technically not cannibalism!

baby, no shoes
- no shoes, baby....
- Never shoes, baby
  
  baby, never worn

She died first
- Now I'm sad

Tight couch, ouch!
- Humble brag Vance
  (cheating? Using his name automatically makes everything sad)
- Couch with a zipper,
  \ never've been deeper.
  Couch with a spring
  \ will hit you in the thing.
  intellectual thoughts with DJ Vasectomy or whatever some Amurican eyeliner boytoy is called
- Weird intersectional porn.

Can't escape capitalism.
- Where would one go? Socialism?

No more cheese
- No, more cheese!

Cat hates you.
- The worst fate.

Toothpaste orange juice

burnt my toast
- I'm on a toast kick and that hit harder than it should. A couple of other toast themed ideas:
  Toast got cold Toast without butter
  
  Toast without butter is more in the vein of torture porn.

Brown bathroom walls.
- Thai chili curry.
  
  this burns twice

Out of coffee
- Captain initiates auto-selfdestruct.

Still no sleep

The prompt said sad, not horror

Want to KMS?
No, better
Failed suicide attempt
- Suicide attempt 12
  
  If you're on number 12 and still here you're lifes a comedy, not a tragedy
- Task failed successfully

God creates man

War never changes

Dead Harambe timeline

Remembering cringey memories.

Out of tacos

Can't count to three.

Cells dividing uncontrollably.

Mine is autobiographical. It is based on a horrific event that happened to me this morning:
Dog poo finger
- This isn't 3 words, but I know players of Elden Ring would suggest that you:
  Try finger but hole
- Oh no.

Dick went flaccid.
- Been there too

Welcome to Jonestown

You were late

Bent my wookie

202 comments