4mo ago

I feel hopeless

Edit: I was as to negotiate with the ones organizing the meeting to schedule for another day. I may have been panicked because I stopped Prozac for a while. I'm really sorry for lashing out like that, and thank you for your understanding.

I'm trying to get my diagnosis. Due to my parents not accepting me receiving mental healthcare, I had to do everything in secret.

It made my life so much easier when I finally got Prozac. I could finally sleep. Little to no obsessions or intrusive thoughts. I also stopped having pica.

But I can't get a diagnosis in most places without involving my parents. Until I found someone who could give me one.

Thing is, if I miss tomorrow's appointment, I can no longer have another chance at it. The health system is clogged and all.

I had everything planned out. Told them I was going out and all. But now, I can't, because our basement got flooded and I have to stay in order to help them.

I know this is what I get for wanting the best of two worlds: my parents' support and getting behind their backs. But I just didn't want to keep suffering anymore. I just want it all to stop.

30 comments

Help as much as you can stand to, but do NOT miss that appointment. Lie your ass off if you have to, but get that diagnosis, trust me. It is very much worth it, and you'll be able to get the help you need right away as an adult.
- Do. not. miss. any. appointments. pretty. much. ever. unless. you. have. covid. make. sure. that. you. have. things. lined. up. and. remember. when. they. ask. questions. answer. not. your. median. space. but. from. your. worst. case. scenario.
  (That you've lived through and can remember - because I heard from my shrink that we tend to be modest with our assessments but that these questions are best answered as if we're at our worst.)
  Sorry that was so funkily worded, but seriously don't miss any appointments ever to the best of your ability especially highly-important ones because you will not easily be able to obtain another down the road and missing a certain amount can blacklist you as a whole.
  
  Precisely. Also, unless you're up to shady shit and don't want to leave a paper trail, don't ever pay for your mental health services with cash, maggot. Use a rewards card for those sweet, sweet airline miles.

My first rule in life, look after yourself. You can't help others properly if you don't care for yourself.
If it's a choice between pissing off my parents because I leave when they want help, and missing medical help in a crowded system? I'd go for upsetting parents, they'll get over it.
Look after yourself, go get help. This is coming from someone (me) who has mental health issues. Your future self will thank you if you start the path of treatment sooner rather than later.
Hope you're feeling well now. Take care!
- Oh and tell them you've got a medical appointment, they do not need to know what kind, just say you've been on a waiting list for a long time.
  
  I must specify that our culture is very very different. They think that autism is immediately linked to several cognitive deficiencies. I remember wanting to talk about the subject to my dad, and his face immediately frowned when he thought I suggested having autism. Plus when my initial doctor thought I might have some kind of neurodivergency, like ADHD, my parents immediately turned down the idea, and I haven't heard from the doctors ever since.
  I have to do medical appointments with them by my side, and if not, they must know every detail about it. Doesn't matter if it's private. They'll even go as far as to share it with families and friends. Sure do love gosip.
  Still, thank you a lot. I'm not sure how to express it properly, but I am thankfull that you answered.
  Edit: autocorrect

First, remember that there may be other opportunities to get diagnosed, so this isn’t necessarily the end of the world.
Second, your mental health is a lifelong concern, while a flooded basement is temporary. You can help out before and after your appointment, and realistically, your contribution might not be crucial. If you're young enough to need your parents' consent for healthcare, then you're also young enough that dealing with the mess in the basement shouldn't fall entirely on you.
Additionally, if they aren't willing to support you when you need help, it's understandable to question why you should be expected to drop everything when they need assistance. That might be my oppositional defiant disorder talking, or it could just be that I don't agree with parents who think they can do no wrong, and therefore you don't need mental health care.
Btw, how old are you?
- I am 19 years old.
  I understand how the flood thing doesn't make much sense, but I can't get out. If do something that is wrong to them, I have high chances of getting kicked out. Paired with my inability to get a hold of how things work and be more independent, this would just end up in a slow suicide.
  I'm old enough to not need my parents consent, but they have to know everything. If there's something I don't want to talk to them about, they will take great offense to that, and that might result in me getting ostracized, or kicked out.
  I know there are other opportunities, but for some reason, it doesn't feel like it. I never should've stopped Prozac to save a couple bucks lmao.
  
  Oh well shit then, just don't tell them anything about anything. Make an excuse to leave the basement nonsense (which isn't your responsibility because you didn't cause it, I assume), go get tested, receive your diagnosis, get you medications, and don't say a fucking thing to your parents. Make a plan to get out on your own and live your own life. It's brutal out here, but we're free.
  
  On a scale of 0-10, how religious are these parents of yours?
  I've been in similar positions in my life, mostly because of religious parents, and while I don't recommend you do anything to get yourself kicked out, I would absolutely say, if they aren't taking care of you, you need to take care of you. And getting a diagnosis and medication is a good start.

Help, then when it's time, go for your appointment, say you'll be back soon (give them a time if need be), then do it.

Is it possible to just tell them it's a medical appointment, but it's about something that you don't feel comfortable talking about?
It's the truth, it explains the secrecy about the appointment, but it keeps the secret.
- In here, there are no medical secrets :). I don't even have a doctor yet, so it wouldn't make much sense.
  I also feel conflicted on advice. There isn't anything I could do to fix this, but I appreciate it. Thank you.

Yeah. It's a lot easier to slip out without saying anything, and apologize after if they ask, than it is to risk your appointment being missed.
If you can, just walk out. If you know they're going to ask (after or before) have a quick, simple, and mostly true lie prepared. You're going to grab lunch real quick since you've been busy all day with the basement, you are headed out to get useful stuff for the basement and do they have any ideas for anything specific, etc. Bonus points for actually also doing the thing you said you were doing.

Maybe say you need to buy a specific thing against the flooding (maybe buckets or a pump or something like that idk) and then do both your appointment and getting that thing.
If not I still wish you got look with getting back up to speed on your mental health:)

30 comments