Chaos goblins

I currently have a non-functioning coffee machine and a broken kitchen scale right beside me. (Like, literally broken, I keep finding acrylic glass fragments...)
- What if you're currently using a working coffee machine that's the same model of the broken one, keeping it 'just in case' the other one breaks 'in a different way' and you now have the part? Umm, asking for a friend...
  
  That's not only perfectly reasonable, it's also the most sustainable thing to do
  
  I tried that once. Turns out they made some small changes between the different version of the same model and the parts didn't quite fit. I don't keep things around for spare parts anymore.
  
  Just swap the broken parts an you end up with two working coffee machines for your friend!
- With a few mods you should be able to get a functioning kitchen coffee scale machine
  
  Nooo don't give me ideas!

I threw things out once. Then I needed it.
Now I just never throw it out in case I'll ever need it.
- I was raised by hoarders. I was the only one who ever did any cleaning. I was the only one in the house who knew how to operate the washing machines and vacuum cleaner at age 10. I made huge efforts sometimes to keep the place clean and organized, which turned into huge dramas as my parents used the new clean space as a reason to fight and be victims, until they would bring more shit in and leave it piled on top of the old shit.
  To this day, if I could live in a blank, white box with nothing else at all, it would be heaven.
  
  I get you. I don't think my parents were hoarders necessary but they had trouble throwing things out that were still good. I guess them growing up in poverty has changed them in a way. Back when I was young my dad used to be looking for jobs a lot and things were tight. I think that may have influenced me as a person.
  My mom always used to keep things tidy, even with lots of stuff in the house. Even after my dad passed away. But since her brain infarction she started going downhill.
  I try to clean up and at least sort things out and store them together when I get the chance. But due to chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia I am slower with getting things done. But we'll get there. And one difference, we don't save trash and newspapers.
  What I'm saying is, it's not as bad as I made it look. And I'm not complaining. I'm glad you are in a different place now. That must've been hard on you as a child. Probably in more ways than one.
- Holy shit REAL

I think the American dream relationship includes one partner who wants the home cleared and emptied while hoarding "just in case" stuff in the garage vs the other partner rolling eyes at the useless garage supplies while packing the house with doodads.
- This is my relationship and I’m the first one

Ah yes. The cousin to "one partner saves money meticulously for emergencies and rainy days and the other partner uses it for vacations and fun."

I swear this server rack packed with everything but servers is getting us! No! Dont touch that old computer next to the server rack! Thats the server!

Throwing out my stuff that i was saving is a marriage-ending event.
- Growing up my mom and I have friends who's wives have thrown (often expensive) stuff away without asking their spouse and I'm always like "uh.... what?". At least ASK first. I have a decent amount of of PC parts and various screws and whatnot that I've saved for years but they don't take up much space and they come in handy all the time. Just recently I had to fix a broken hold down thing on my PC's motherboard and I would have been fucked If I hadn't had a box of shit to look through to fashion a replacement.
  I understand asking to get rid of stuff if it's in the way but if it's out in the garage with the rest of their tools or something like that and they toss it that's fucked up to me. I have shelves that are designated for this purpose and if more stuff then will fit I toss something to make room. The line for me is it being on the floor or spilling onto horizontal furniture. Which I think is perfectly reasonable.

You should see my face when we needed some obscure thing I hoarded like years ago, that got threatened to be thrown out by my wife multiple times over the pass years.
Some of those occasion that I can recall:
_a clothes patcher I bought from AliExpress (used 7 years after purchased)
_a gasoline syphon (3 years after purchased, used on my wife's car in an emergency. I still bring it up till this day everytime she tried to throw out something I hoarded)
_a couple of self-tapping screws (used 5 years after purchased)
_electric lint remover (lost count of when I got it)
_velcro tape (used 6 years after purchased)
- Velcro tape is awesome. You can do so many pranks with it.

I was asked today what I was going to do with the 12 old bottle teats I'd been saving from my son's milk bottles... I'm not sure any answer would have been satisfactory but the truth is I want to make a weird Halloween costume.
They stayed... for now

The person that throws things out is the real goblin.

And, who is the goblin vs who is channeling Marie Kondo changes depending on context. I will throw out shit that could be considered sentimental all the time, but I have chargers and hard drives from the 90s.
- I’ve tried to cut back on my saved cords, limiting myself to 3 of each kind. Why 3 I couldn’t really tell you
  
  If you need one, it might be for something you got two of (especially if you're married), and because they're old one of them might be broken
  
  I'm not sure why I have even one parallel cable, but I do. Surely I could just buy one online if I ever needed one. 🤔
- You might need one of those drives! You never know!
  
  If nothing else there's nice magnets in there.

Yeah it's all fun and games until you live with an actual horder.

Since I learned I can keep my rock collection(nothing special, just common rocks)outside in the form of garden borders I think I've become less of a garbage goblin?
- You should not need to hide your probably extraordinary nice rock collection in the garden. I'll fight your partner for you if you want.
  
  It's all good! I still keep my favorites inside, it's just the bigger ones that live outside.
  Plus, I have the goal of an all quartz garden border now. It'll be satisfying when I finish it!

... Oh no.

Was I supposed to marry someone who throws things out?
- They didn't throw you out, so what did you expect?

i think i'm just both of these people?
- A well balanced person?
  What are you doing here?
  
  is that how balance works?
  I often find i throw shit away, and then years later remember that it would be nice if i still had it. I cannot win.