Note: Zuck has been defederated! No one on the board is aware of his existence. If zuck moves, his moves do not affect the rest of the board. He can be impacted indirectly by the board, but since other pieces can’t see him, they can’t directly impact him.
Day 1: bishop to A55 (all of them go on vacation, never come back) -ehsan301 (and OP)
Day 2: white queen divorces king -julianh
Day 3: “The white King, heartbroken and disillusioned with his future prospects, lost in a dreary mist of drug-fuelled degeneracy, stuck in the throes of a severe midlife crisis, summons his best friend, his confidant, his ride or die BRO to cheer him up. Ke8 to e1.” -bl00dmeat
Day 4: Queen Alexandra’s Birdwing to D1 -soollik
Day 5: supply convoy to e0 -franzfurdinand
Day 6: white horse (g1) comes out as gay, turns into a unicorn -xffxe4
Day 7: “Top of the board is looking empty, let's start a girl's party with blue queen, green queen, and red queen to c8, e8 and f8 respectively.” -JohnDClay
Day 8: “All pawns are scrambled around the board and turn into hidden mines, turning the game into minesweeper” -mycus
Day 9: “Kings decide to take some well deserved time off on a trip to disney sorld and let their pawn body doubles stand in for them with very little prep time to get the look right” -LastResorter
Day 10: “The castles are renovated into gaudy commercial establishments—one is a café, one is a privately-owned museum, one is a residential condominium, and one is torn down to make way for a strip mall.” -fiasco
Day 11: the titanic sinks on f6 -Jeom
Day 12: Sf6 (submarine on f6, underwater so you can’t see it) -IsThisLemmyOpen
Day 13: “Prigozhin retreats to c0” -Barbarian, also submarine becomes visible
Day 14: “Green Queen is actually Fiona from Shrek. It's day time now, so stops being an ogre and turns into a human.” -negativenull
Day 15: “Sxf6 titan catastrophically implodes leaving a debris field from e5 to g6” -JohnDClay (and COME ON DOWN FOLKS it’s our FIRST. TWO TIME. WIIINNNEEEERRRRRRR) and the first pawn mine of the game is found
Day 16: vanilla extract to b3 -julianh (also a 2 time winner but 2nd place don’t get no prize)
Day 17: “Unicorn to f3 and shoots a healing rainbow from its horn to heal the exploded pawn.” -pruwybn
Day 18: “Black and white horse become gay roommates and live in the bottom right corner together.” -Mewtwo
Day 19: “All the white pieces line up for Starbucks” -eldoom, and oh shit they hit three mines
Day 20: “It's 4th of July. Aliens attack, a wild Will Smith appears.” -NukeminHerttua
Day 21: “Profits soar! Zuck expands to 4 squares” -drev
Day 22: “Zuck gets defederated by all pieces on board, they no longer receive his moves” -shabablinchikow
Day 23: “A0 is now a fractal image of the entire board. A copy of the entire board lives in A0” -CoreyRDean
Day 24: “The blown up white pieces have been rotting. A strange mold starts appearing on the the dead white queen. A moldy tile will spread to one directly adjacent tile every 24hours, unless stopped.” -webghost0101
Day 25: “Turn the lights off.” -imnotsurewhyimhere, the mold spreads
Day 26: “Prigozhin takes advantage of the sudden darkness to hide behind the fractal image of the entire board in A0.” -Marafon, the mold spreads
Day 27: “Flashlight to F1” -julianh (THREE TIME WINNNERRRRR) and “I hope its placed pointing at the unicorn so we get a cool prism effect from its horns reflection.” -webghost0101. The mold spreads, white horsey has fallen
Day 28: “Donkey (from Shrek) on c7. I have a plan 😎” -girl. The mold spreads, it spares for now
Day 29: “the aliens are in love (edit: with Donkey), the ship beams donkey on board where he transforms into Sexy Donkey (stallion)” -girl. The mold spreads, zuck has (partially) fallen but is unaffected due to defederation
Day 30: “the aliens attempt to woo Sexy Donkey, but he rejects their advances (his heart belongs to Dragon). distraught, heartbroken, enraged, crying a lament even the bishops and kings can hear, the aliens bring out their ultimate weapon, the trebuchet. they launch Sexy Donkey with perfect trajectory to a0. Sexy Donkey becomes caught in a recursive loop until saved” -girl. The mold spreads, the dead fake white king has fallen
Day 31: “Switch the flashlight mode to UV light to look for stains” -Shyder. The mold spreads, an empty tile has fallen, and the unicorn rainbow only works in visible light
Day 32: “The largest questionable stain (gh4, gh5) is actually revealed to be The Ooze from the 1995 Sega Megadrive / Genesis game of the same name” -EK13. The mold spreads, Starbucks has fallen.
Day 33: “Mold now follows conway’s game of life neighbor rules. wiki” -CoreyRDean
Day 34: “Black Queen (E1) casts Fireball in a straight line up the board, exploding on first contact with an enemy. Destroying all units in a 3x3 square. White King sacrifices one of his Queens to the Elder Gods and begins to waken one of the Great Old Ones. All pawns begin to bleed.” -Alteon