YSK there is a massive Google Doc of U.S. gynecologists that will tie your tubes without asking about your kids, marital status or age.

I don't really need the sheet, but this comment compelled me to download it anyway

Nothing stresses me out more than FOMO

If you're reading this like 5 years from now and the doc is gone, feel free to reply or DM me or the guy I'm replying to. I will probably still have it, unless I get hit by a bus or something

Good plan. I will do the same. Although you might go back and do it periodically, because the list started a few days ago with only 150 names on it.

It's funny that Republicans want to force women to have babies but then also complain about women that have too many babies and refer to them as "welfare babies" but also want to defund social aid programs and not provide additional resources to foster kids and orphanages.

(I know that was a run-on sentence.)

I’d like to see how many people who have abortions later on choose to have a child. I think the “what if” logic for not having an abortions should also be applied to when having an abortion.

I was thirteen years old when I went to the doctor by myself because a cut on my eyelid wasn't healing. I was asked about my birth control, sexual activity, and whether I thought I could be pregnant (after saying I've never had sex) then pushed out of the examination room after NOT having my eye examined at all.

As an adult, I realize now how terrible that was and I would have done something about it if it had happened to me today. But at the time I was so embarrassed and hurt, I just pushed all thought of it away until years later.

You can open it in private/incognito tab, it doesn't require credentials

The other side is concerning as well. This list could also be used by individuals looking to do some targeted harassment. Or worse.

Just entered it, with my Google credentials, even though I'm neither a woman nor an American. If they are going to track people who read it, let's add as much garbage data as we can (to the tracking, not to the sheet)

i hope you will forgive me for asking something so personal (and i understand if you choose to ignore it), but - if you want a hysterectomy now and have been advised of the impacts, why is she unwilling at present?

My understanding is that doctors often don't just question but often refuse if they think the person should not do it. To be clear, that refusal is generally based on personal opinion, not for medical reasons.

None of those are required to be known for any other surgery. "Are you sure you want your shoulder fixed? What if in a few years you find a nice someone and want it broken again? Think of the smiles of your children when you rub this scar line!"

As a man, I think it's the sort of experience that men struggle to understand because of patriarchal dynamics.

What I mean is: if a doctor were to:

• ask me if I have considered other forms of birth control
• and then explain all the different birth control methods to make sure I actually understand,
• ask if I've talked about the decision with my wife,
• and then explain that a general impression of her opinion isn't the same thing as sitting down together and reviewing all the data,
• ask if understand how the surgery will affect my body
• and then explain the hormonal changes my body would go through
• etc

before agreeing to schedule a vasectomy.

Interpretting these questions through the lens of my lived experience:

These are thorough but pragmatic questions. The doctor is trying to make sure I understand all the options. The doctor is a peer with special expertise and wants to make sure that I understand all the risks.

But women too often grow up in an environment which tells them:

• Women should trust the men in their lives too make the best decisions for them.
• That having children is the most important thing they can do in the world.
• A woman's value is proportional to her utility as a wife and mother.
• Women that have sex for fun are disgusting sluts.

So when they get asked a barrage of questions identical to the ones I'dve been asked, they experience them very differently. Women are not irrational to hear the exact same questions very differently if they are interpreting them through the lens of their experiences. Maybe they experience those questions as:

• "Why don't you just stop having so much sec you slut?"
• "Don't you know how to have sex with out getting pregnant you dumb removed?"
• "Do you have your husband's permission?"
• "Does your husband know you're a slut?"
• "Do you understand that you will be destroying your value to society if you don't have kids?"
• "Do you understand that you will become any even crazier removed after this?"

And too often, the doctor really does mean that.

Edit to add: I'd value other people's takes too.

Age definitely seems really valid. Like I can imagine that certain things about the operation itself can change with age.

The one that really angered me though when she told me the story was “What if something happens to one of your children?” Like you were just replacing a busted TV or something.

That's so awful. What a bizarre attitude. It's like something out of the Middle Ages- you can always have another, unless you die in childbirth.

You're welcome to join us over on !childfree@lemmy.world, if you feel like it. Rather fairly inactive for the time being, unfortunately.

Probably makes the list a lot smaller