"I was shot in the head, just like Lincoln."

He's going to find a way to compliment himself for "dodging the shot" as if it hadn't been pure dumb luck.
- to be fair, this is nothing compared to the number of bullets he dodged in the Vietnam war.
- I saw the bullet on the way, dodged it, and directed the return fire before the lady agent went for me (they can't resist me you know)...
  Put that into a trump translator and bingo.
- And the bullet said, with tears in its eyes: „Sir,….“
  
  Always with the 'sir'
- He's probably about to turn it into a "I was spared by the grace of God because my crusade against evil wasn't yet finished" kind of thing.
- Ironic, if he had leaned left at the time.
- Remember how he claimed he would have stopped a school shooting if only he had been there?
  
  Yes. How that was not seen as the pathetic chest beatings of an insecure idiot craving praise that it was by the people attending his rallies is beyond me.

Rev 13:3
One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was filled with wonder and followed the beast.
Not like his morons read the Bible or anything but it's right there.
- How about the part where the beast blasphemes and promises peace?
  
  Yeah yeah yeah he was 8/10 on the general prophecies before, but now you'd really have to be dumb enough to believe the Bible to not see it.
- A fun list of other ways trump fulfills the role of the antichrist.
- What are the chances the streak continues? 50/50?
  Then I saw a second beast, coming out of the earth. It had two horns like a lamb, but it spoke like a dragon. It exercised all the authority of the first beast on its behalf, and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been healed. And it performed great signs, even causing fire to come down from heaven to the earth in full view of the people. Because of the signs it was given power to perform on behalf of the first beast, it deceived the inhabitants of the earth. It ordered them to set up an image in honor of the beast who was wounded by the sword and yet lived. The second beast was given power to give breath to the image of the first beast, so that the image could speak and cause all who refused to worship the image to be killed. It also forced all people, great and small, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hands or on their foreheads, so that they could not buy or sell unless they had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of its name.
  
  Yeah I think the author was suffering some ergot poisoning.
  Although raining fire from the sky is called Tuesday when you are president of the US. And predicting a universal banking system seems pretty dull at this point.
- Revelations shows just how many times we repeat history.

Within 48 hours, he will set up an auction for his bloodied MAGA hat.
- No wonder he kept asking for his shoes when they were moving him off the platform.
- Get ready for another Blutfahne

Yesterday Democrats: "The media is talking too much about Biden and not enough about Trump."
Today Democrats: "Not like that."
- My bad guys; I should have made my wish on a star and not a monkey paw.

The best thing we can do is immediately get bored of it
- Hey Dude, Let's go bowling
  
  Not now Roman

As you all know there was that fateful day, a very fateful day, in Pennsylvania, where they make the best cheesteaks you know, very fine cheesesteaks, but you have to choose, you have to choose you know between the real Philly style and the other way - I choose the real way because I love Pennsylvania you know - I spend a lot of time there, great state, not as good as Florida, but still great, great golfing in Florida by the way, really the best golfing, did you know I could beat Biden on the golf course any day of the week, but anyway so on that fateful day, I felt a lot like one of my favorite people, Hannibal Lector, as those agents were trying to take me away, you know the police were always taking him places he didn't want to go, but they respected him, they respected a man like that, and I was giving the speech and watching the birds in the trees, did you know that their hockey team almost made it to the Stanley cup this year, that's right, they have the best hockey, the Rangers had a great season, I always go to their games when I'm in Pennsylvania, and so all this only makes me stronger and my wife, my wife thinks I'm very handsome, and even more now with the scar on my ear she says it makes me look rugged like an outdoorsman and did you know Hannibal Lector was an outdoorsman too, and he was in a crash with Alec Baldwin - don't let that guy have a gun I tell you - and he was very rugged and handsome and thank you very much please remember to vote for me in November....
- that was almost TOO good

He's always so dramatic about everything. Like, this is America, buddy; lots of people get shot at. It doesn't make you special. And he wasn't even hurt.
- America actually has a long tradition of presidents and presidential candidates getting shot. That's why the secret service is as well funded as it is. Statistically, President is actually a pretty dangerous job for exactly this reason.

president me me me me just got a new favorite topic
- I guess at least he'll shut the fuck up about windmills

- Could be that his secret service are morons since he picked his own 🤷🏻‍♂️
- This is the dumbest shit and we need to fucking grow up a bit. These "questions" are asinine and not that hard to explain.
  Not denying the incident was reported, but there's a heavy insinuation here that this was set up or manufactured. If so... They needed an entire Secret Service detail, local event police and everyone standing by to be in on it. A couple hundred people are going to be involved and no one leaks it?
  "Supposed" gunman. I like how you pivot from "this is probably set up" to "ok even if it was real Trump is capable of worse"
  Again, the insinuation of an inside job here. We're going to involve a hundred or more people and no one thought it would be a problem to kill a bystander? Or the gunman was so good he killed a specific plant? And they had a 100% success rate... No one heard the plan and thought "oh this is a bad idea" and spoke out about it?
  Big difference between deleting text messages and MURDERING AN AMERICAN to further a political agenda.
  Yes. Things happen all the time. Trump people are saying this is to distract from Biden being inept. There's always a convenient time.
  Yes you dumbshit he was concerned about his hat because they already had the all clear. The shooter got taken out in seconds. They wouldn't have moved Trump. And they all were saying it was all clear. Also have you ever seen people in an absolute panic? Not the most rational state. Same thing with his shoes. That's ALSO why he took the photo op. They all dove on top of him. They figured out the shooter's location and took him down before Trump even got up.
  There's pictures of the fucking bullet in flight. So either that was ALSO manufactured (a member of the press willingly heard the plan ahead of time and doctored a photo or they actually shot a bullet inches away from Trumps head AND captured it). But no let's just get Trump, a bumbly ass fuck to orchestrate this perfectly. I'm sure he had it a planned to go down, and everyone covered him and he pulled out a razor blade, cut his ear, and put it away, all perfectly executed and no one caught anything on camera from any of the dozens of angles.
  This shit is so fucking stupid and I'm so sick of hearing about it. These points all rely on the most ass backwards way of thinking where dozens of people are in on this conspiracy and relies on all of them bring cool with killing someone to make it good for Trump.
  Get this shit outta here. This doesn't deserve the pixels on the screen used to illuminate this nonsense. Be a fucking grown up. We're going to have to figure out a real way to beat Trump, not pretend this was some false flag bullshit. Accept reality. Be a goddamn adult.
  I'm not even saying you're wrong for questioning, but I am saying you are wrong because the sheer volume of things that would need to occur for this theory to be even remotely possible is so ridiculous, I would consider aliens an equally plausible situation.
- I think the secret service is tired of his ass. Those are the guys that saved democracy on Jan 6 by preventing Trump from going to the capital.
  The current batch of guys probably has some guys that would run a false flag op.
  
  https://www.vox.com/23274533/secret-service-text-messages-january-6

He is going to demand a Purple Heart
- How about a purple 💜 earring?

Expect the Reagan "missed me" joke every time a balloon pops.
- I wanna go to his next one and yell bang

Tries to talk like a tough guy. Never done anything tough guy in his life. Gets shot in ear. Falls down. Shits himself.
tough guy talk intensifies x100

The world’s biggest victim will now claim to be the worlds biggest crime victim.
He’s already talking about how it felt to get shot and how he felt the bullet, when it appears he got hit with broken glass instead.

He got shot like a loser Trump the Chump.
- I prefer candidates that don't get shot

Yep. Pissy pussy.

You know who else got shot?
- Who?
  
  I'll give you a hint. He was shot by Hitler.

I'm not expecting the 'God moved though me and helped me dodge just enough to avoid the bullet. Send me 20.00

If only Trump had had the grace and dignity to die from the bullet wound.
- No one has ever described trump as graceful or dignified

His failure to die won him the election.

Not today libs! TRUMP 2024!
- What does this even mean?
  
  Everyone that has been praising the attempted assassination of Trump have been from the Left.. you know, liberals.
- Let's play find the fascist nazi!
  
  Wait, so conservatives are the Nazi's now? I get confused.. each side points the finger so much..