Planning to propose in a few months, what should I look for in a good value engagement ring?

avoid diamonds. there are prettier (and more humane) stones. not to mention: more affordable

instead, choose a stone and metal that reflect your and your intended's personalities rather than some boring thing billions of others have.

My wife and I picked out her ring together. She has to wear it all the time. I think she should have say in the matter. Ask your partner to help you pick one out.

I spent more than I should have about 3 years ago, but I HIGHLY recommend the lab diamonds. I was able to get better quality for less price.

I looked into Moissante, and whether or not you should get that is really up to her. A doofus like me would never know it's not a diamond, but many people would. Definitely DO NOT try to pass it off as a diamond, because she'll find out one way or another. If you were proposing to me, (don't get your hopes up, I'm taken) and told me that we could save a thousand dollars by going with Moissante, I'd be all for it because I'm cheap and tradition doesn't mean much to me, but most people aren't like me.

I know it's tricky to get information without ruining the surprise, so what I did was send her a message while I was at work: "The girls here are having a debate on whether or not a fake diamond is acceptable for an engagement ring. 😂". Her response told me everything I needed to know about Moissante.

Good luck! Don't forget to invite us to the wedding!

We went with moissanite, and everyone thinks its an insanely expensive diamond

Moissanite is sparklier than diamond, so for what people look at in rings, it ends up looking better than diamond

I got our engagement rings from a gumball machine. Was really hard to find. And even harder to find one that sold rings. When I had finally found one I didn't have a single 20 cent coin it required on me. I flagged down passerby from across the street. She gave me two coins and refused to take my one Euro in exchange.

Those two coins netted me five balls, which included three rings. I selected the most beautiful and headed home.

We've been married for over 13 years so far.

From when my partner and I bought our ring set, we went to a gem shop instead of a jewelry store. We had three rings given to us by family members, and wanted to rework them into a new set for me and then get a matching ring for my husband. Every jewelry store we went to wanted $6-8k to do the rework. We ended up at the gem shop as a last resort, because we were both over it. The gem shop reworked and made my engagement ring, wedding band, added a lab grown sapphire, and found a ring for my husband for $1900 total. And they did it all on our timeframe of two weeks.

My advice is to shop around and talk to people. All the big jewelry shops were so expensive, and smaller businesses will probably be better on your budget.

Shout out to Bob's Gem Shop in Escondido, California! They got us a great deal and I love our set. 😍

My SO and I discussed that engagement rings shouldn’t be expensive.

Correct answer. This indicates that the two of you have at least some kind of head on your shoulders.

I used a literal piece of costume jewelry for the proposal. It was very shiny, but only $10. The point of this was, we got a "real" engagement ring afterwards and she could pick what she wanted rather than me doing it for her and getting it wrong. We ultimately settled on a moissanite rock which is, it must be said, hella sparkly. And significantly cheaper than getting a diamond which she'd be forever fearful of losing or smashing out of the setting, or whatever. After visiting quite a few jewelry places, believe it or not the place where we found the one she loved was at Walmart. I still feel sophisticated to this very day.

Fellas, if your chickie is more worried about how shiny a pebble you've brought her is rather than, you know, the person bringing it, what you have yourself there is a problem.

I am not sure what you mean with value. Unless you are planning to resell them again, what does the value matter?

Remember there are other precious stones than diamonds. Ruby, emerald, sapphire. For me, they're all prettier than diamonds, and have a much longer tradition.

If they've got favorite colors or colors that hold special meaning to them, prioritize gems with those colors over diamonds.

Even elaborate pieces will still be cheaper than an equivalent diamond ring because the prices are that overinflated for those things.

Also if they like purple, see if you can get the body of the ring in purple gold if it's in the budget, might not be as much of a cost conscious choice as seeking alternative gems but it'll look sick!

If you can, look into local jewelers who can craft you something handmade with ethically sourced stones. I’m in Seattle and we have Valerie Madison who does great engagement sets and Everling Jewelry who uses recycled metals. A local artist will be able to recommend something within your budget, and your SO can and should be involved, as another poster mentioned.

Diamonds are a commodity like gold and silver. You can buy market value diamonds from a dealer and then have a ring made. Even for synthetic diamonds this is the cheapest way to get a diamond ring.

I used to work at a jewelers. A good quality moissanite is gonna be as close to an actual diamond you can get without getting an actual diamond if that's what you're looking for.

As far as metals, gold is the traditional choice but sterling is both less expensive and more durable. If you do go with gold, I would opt for 14 kt over 18 kt personally. The higher the karat number, the purer the gold, which sounds like a good thing but from a practical standpoint is a bit of a PITA because this in effect means higher karats are both more expensive and more fragile because gold is soft. Since typically an engagement ring is worn every day, something that can handle some wear and tear is a plus.

For settings, look for something fairly low with prongs that have a decent heft to them. Tall settings bump into shit ALL THE TIME and eventually the prongs tens to shift and the stone goes flying (again, gold is soft).

Also, look at her other jewelry and talk to her about what her tastes are. There's no rule that says it "has to be" anything if a more standard ring isn't her thing. Going with her favorite color or her birthstone and working from there can be a good option.

Lab diamonds are "fake" diamonds. Artificial and natural diamonds only differ in their level of human suffering and exploitation, with natural diamonds being higher in both.

Band metal depends on taste and costs. Platinum is the most expensive and best IMO, gold is kind of out of style(does she wear gold rings?), white gold is budget platinum, silver is cheap platinum that tarnishes.

Get a lab diamond with both your birth stones flanking it. For the band, I would go with white gold unless she wears gold rings a lot or you can afford platinum.

Also, she wants an expensive ring regardless of what she told you. She wants a giant rock on her finger when she shows it off, but should be absolutely ecstatic for anything you get. Talk to her married friends' husbands and don't get a bigger diamond than they got if you want to be a bro.

I went with moissanite. It's sparklier than diamond. My wife still gets compliments on it years later.

I watch a youtuber who does reaction videos with her boyfriend. She said she'd rather have a blow-pop than a diamond.

Her reasoning is that blowpops are way cheaper, so you can use that money saved on your future together.

..........but maybe don't do that unless your fiancee is cool.

We got each other rings made off Etsy. Hers are a nesting set that we later bonded

Most of the time we are wearing silicone rings out

Nenya

https://www.wetanz.com/us/nenya-the-ring-of-galadriel

That was my wife's engagement ring, it was $75 at the time we bought it. Mine is a wood and titanium band that cost us $17.

Probably different depending on region. Our engagement rings were slate white gold and platinum. When we picked out her wedding ring we first went to jewelers. Everything there was kinda ugly. No elegance, just mass-produced bulky stuff. Unless you want to cough up at least 3000€. So we checked an auction house. Found a gorgeous diamond ring from the 1930s, real elegant and you could see the craftsmanship in every little detail. And I got it for 400€. Then took it to a jeweler to size it and engrave it.

So that could be an option.

I got one that has another kind of stone as the main stone with cubic zirconias around it. That sort of arrangement isn't too expensive, and more interesting than a diamond.

Don't do a plain silver band. They tarnish and cause irritation. The band should be either a metal that doesn't tarnish, or coated in one.

I saw a ring that opens beers… I’ve never a more useful engagement band.

if she will go for it get a 100 pack of rubber or silicon rings (dollor store) they look nice from the distance strangers should look and no worry about lost rings and no safety worries.

I have Moissy ring and it's gorgeous. I'd have been pissed to get something that cost more. It's really a pretty stone, and durable as fuck.

You will need an idea of her taste in jewelry, ask her literally to send you pictures of what she likes. I think a solitaire is best and that is way more affordable if it's not diamond, or at least that was true when we were getting engaged.

Wow, tough crowd. At no point did you say you were looking at typical diamonds but you're still getting jumped. My interpretation is that you're not interested in mined diamonds and are already aware of the massive ethical issues.

I can't tell you if she actually wants an expensive ring with a big rock, despite what that other comment assures you. That's something you have to determine. My SO wanted something pretty and durable, not expensive. She meant it. She also picked a stone in her favorite color. I think it's flanked by small diamonds for that sparkle but it was only $350 at a department store. I guess at this point I should mention why she did all the shopping and why I don't really know: I proposed with a paper ring and quoted Taylor Swift in doing so. Rather than take a guess and potentially be way off from what she's been looking at on her own, she was able to choose it herself. Some people may be upset that you didn't do all the traditional work, but that's between you and your SO and for you to determine acceptability. A woman with established desires (beyond price) in a ring has likely already done a ton of shopping.

If she tends to be rough with her hands, diamonds are still the most durable stone available. It will take most stones a long time to be visibly scratched, but it happens - especially around sand. That also means if she loses jewelry, the ring may not be around long enough to matter.

I wouldn't recommend silver since it's softer and tarnished a little faster than the other options.

As far as cut, you're really getting into an opinionated area. Some people like the traditional cartoon cut, some like an older oval, some a rectangle, etc. It depends on her style and how loud she wants her jewelry to be.

It's a very variable topic. The only thing I can say, and this applies to many things, is that when you get down to the final 5ish options, no one else will know what you chose between. You'll forget too. They'll probably all be nearly identical if you were to describe them on paper without a picture. There's no such thing as perfect but you always come to simply accept something for being what it is. I went through this with dozens of paint chips when remodeling a house. Once the walls are painted, your guests will never know nor care how long you spent choosing between G305-03 and G306-03.

If it doesn't give her the ick and she likes the classic styles, used jewelry is the way to go. It's already had the "walk out of store" depreciation and I think engravings on most rings are pretty easy to replace.

As a more personal recommendation, when I ahem "outgrew" my own engagement ring and was too lazy/cheap to resize, I got a "temporary" replacement 10? years ago from here. It was supposed to be moissanite in titanium, did an XRF analysis and the band material was some sort of nickel-less maybe steel IIRC. No idea if the moissanite is genuine, but it's held up way better than any CZ has, and the band has kept better than silver so props to that.

Okay so. There's a lot of factors that go into this; make sure it's a gem she likes, not just diamond for the sake of diamond. Get synthetic; the entire "natural" diamond industry is a scam. It doesn't hurt to go with something custom, but keep in mind one important thing that I should have.

If your fiance is somebody who tends to lose things, go cheaper and get copies. I learned this the hard way, and it's a very painful lesson to learn. If she's some kind of scatterbrain or klutz, not to be rude but you need to be clinical about this, you're better off spending a couple of hundred bucks and getting like five of them and just putting the extras in a safe or something.

Because honestly the worst thing in the world is having her in tears because she lost something that important, plus the disappointment you will inevitably feel when she lost something so expensive. I know this is probably a niche issue, but you have to be objective about these kinds of things.

Don't listen to commercials.... 3 months salary as a guideline .... My Ass!

By now you should know her tastes. Or just ask her about it. She's the one who's gonna wear it.

Yo! I will tell you what I did. I found a standard ring. Nothing fancy. Just a solitaire (ring with one rock on the top). The key part was that I went with a company that allowed trade ups. Meaning that I could return the ring for full price after the purchase as long as I was using the money to buy a more expensive ring. So I did that. Bought the normal standard ring, did the proposal, then went to get a new ring by trading it in so my partner could get one they absolutely loved.

IMO lab grown vs real diamonds are a non issue. They all look and act the same aside from having a laser etch.

For gold silver platinum, up to you. Again, you can always go standard and trade up (as long as the company does that).

I used a sapphire. I'm a ceramic engineer, and sapphire is just alumina, so I think it's cool, and you can get basically any color you want.

Alternatively you could consider something that isn't a ring. My fiancee is very cat coded, I gave her a gold cat bell that she loves and wears all the time. Got it from Mene dot Com which is a bonus because they're more ethical and transparent about their gold and pay which is something my fiancee is into.

You want a plain ring to go with your plain fiancée, is that how it is?

Next thing you know she'll be dreaming of a guy with wavy hair and chestnut eyes.