im just an unemployed seagull rule

This sounds like just the sort of sign a business with a collection of trained and domesticated seagulls would post.

I only got robbed once in my life.

First day of vacation, the sun is shining and I’m walking down a street in Porto. Bakeries are advertising their freshly baked goods. Happily I enter one, see above sign, chuckle and proceed to buy one of these delicious looking pastries. I leave the bakery, in my hands is a pastel de nata. Tasty. With a big smile I continue my walk down the street. I turn my head and admire some flowers. Then it hits me. Quite literally. Something hit me in my face, and the bag of pastries is pulled out of my hands. I stand there, baffled. The people around me stare at me. I look at my hands, still trying to process what happened. The dude next to me stares at me, I look at him, looking for my pastry. He points at a seagull. There I see it: a freaking seagull flying away with my pastry. It dived down, mid flight and stole the bag I held in my hands. The hit in my face was its wing. I got robbed by a seagull.

If they just gave the seagulls a job, they wouldn't have to steal!

Everyone knows the birds work for the bourgeoisie

Seagulls are such a pain on certain beaches. Revere,MA outside the Kelly’s Roastbeef if you don’t eat in your car you may not get to eat all of your food. Those stupid birds will swoop down at you and take that shit out of your hands.