Simple question: Are you a nice person?

I‘d say I‘m honest and loyal, not particularly nice. To me nice means diplomatic, charismatic and with low temper.
- Came here to say that.
- Couldn't have said it better myself.

I'm balanced.
I'll help you push you car. I'll hold the door for anyone, I'll let you in, in traffic. I'll over-tip the wait staff, even the ones having a bad day. I give kids in my neighborhood freezypops when it's hot AF. I'll go out of my way to make sure your food allergy is covered and you'll have safe snacks at my gathering.
I won't give the guy begging on the corner money. I won't help you forever if you never reciprocate. You skip a paycheck, I won't wait for you to get it sorted.
I won't remember that you hate mushrooms. I won't remember your kids name or wife's face. I'll forget you birthday if it's not in my calendar. I'll tell you I need to focus on something for an hour and go take a nap.
- We'll get along just fine. But I will remember the kid's face if they're cool.

I can be. The other day, I was driving on a 70mph road and the lead car two in front hit a young deer. She had tried her best to avoid it but there was nothing she could do.
She pulled over with her signals flashing and as I went past I realised no one was going to stop, and then I had the thought of that happening to my wife, who is a vegetarian and would have been in bits, so I pulled over and ran back to check on her.
She was crying and shaking, I asked her to drop the window a bit and if she was ok. I told her it wasn't her fault and she should take as long as needed before driving, and that I would be in my car if needed.
I had my lunch and her husband soon arrived, coming to thank me, which I wasn't expecting. They were very nice and it was very sad and I was slightly emotional. They left eventually and I carried on with my day.
I can be grumpy as fuck, though.
- You aren't grumpy. You're just conserving your emotional bandwidth for when it is really needed.
  That's how I choose to interpret this, anyway.

I'm afraid not, I've never been to France much less be familiar enough to claim to be one of them.
- It's very dry there.

I like to think I am. I used to be a piece of shit, and I've worked really hard over the last 9 years to become a better person. I don't always succeed, as the old demons like to pop their heads out every now and again, but I do put forth great effort most times.
- We're all on a journey. None of us have arrived. The effort counts.

Depends. I default to being friendly, but I’m not good at it. I’m a terrible conversationalist, and what is logical to me (from my perspective) often gets misconstrued as being an asshole. It’s never my intention, but I’m awful at reading people too. I just never really took the time to learn how to… people.

I take "nice" to mean something very different than "good" or "kind". No, I am not a nice person. I am inclined to be an honest asshole over a nice liar. I try my best to be good, kind, understanding, etc., but "nice" is, in my books, more about manners than good acts or genuine understanding. And I generally feel that time and effort spent on attempting to be "nice" is much better spent on genuinely empathizing with and supporting people, even when that support isn't kind or well-mannered at a glance.
I think I just take issue with the word "nice".
- I like you. I'm the same way. Never met an asshole that was being dishonest. That's why I feel like I can trust them more than I can trust 'nice' people.
  So yeah, I might not be nice. In fact, sometimes I'm a downright asshole. But I'll usually give you the shirt off of my back to help you if you need it.

I'm a pheasant plucker.

I try to be when I can muster up the courage to speak. I've always been taught to treat others like how you want to be treated and since I can't handle people yelling and screaming I try to avoid that altogether. Even if you're mean to me, I'll try to be nice or I just don't say anything.

I try to be, but don’t always hit the mark.

Fuck you mind your own business.

I try. I don't always succeed.

No. I aspire to be kind to people that need kindness, though.

No. I am kind. I am genuine. I am not nice. I have become too tired to put on a mask anymore.

I'm a lovely person to everyone until they show me that they don't deserve it. After that, they are dead to me. Unfortunately, one of the people who has shown me that they don't deserve my time or respect is me, so i treat myself like shit. This does not work out so well for me.

75%. I have my moments, plus it's hard to stay nice when there are so many assholes in the world.

No.. In my defence...
“Nice people made the best Nazis. My mom grew up next to them. They got along, refused to make waves, looked the other way when things got ugly and focused on happier things than “politics.” They were lovely people who turned their heads as their neighbors were dragged away. You know who weren’t nice people? Resisters.”– Naomi Shulman
- I think this is where the specific definition of “nice” is crucial. I think it’s very possible to still be “nice” while also being confrontational or standing up for things, and in fact, doing it nicely but without backing down can sometimes be extremely effective.
  I know the “nice” you are referring to, where someone uses it as a shield for uncaring, selfish behavior. I’d of course rather have someone who isn’t so “nice” who earnestly tries to do the right thing than that kind of nice.

I'm far too nice.

I gave a quarter to a cute homeless lady once so I’d say I’m pretty nice.

I try to be, but people often tell me that I sound annoyed/aggressive even when I'm trying not to be.

No.

Nice to a fault. I think it's because I try to be the person I always wish I would have had access to because I've never really had any support from anyone.
- I, the same way. I’m in a pretty outspoken city, but I’m a bit more of a just give in and avoid having to yell at people person. I can get upset and yell when need be, but I don’t employ that tactic unless I lose my cool. Otherwise, I’m overly amenable and very much of the mindset “they’re probably having a tough day” or “it’s not really worth it/this doesn’t really affect me more than my slight disappointment.” And then I just get over it. Or sometimes I’ll think more about it later and wish I acted differently, but right now I can’t really think of a time where that happened, so did it really matter in the long run that I didn’t push harder for myself?
  This is all ironic because my face doesn’t usually seem like the face of a nicer person. I grew up with rbf, mainly because I spent my teen years very angry about everything.

I'm nice to service workers. I am not nice to people on the freeway. Take from that what you will.

No.
I am a good person with a capacity for kindness. The difference? It's not reflex.
Nice is the guy waving you through at a stop sign when it's their turn. Sure there's good intention, but seriously? No.

Simple answer: No.

Hopefully, most of the time. I feel like I'm generally friendly and helpful, and compared to many people around me I feel like I don't let myself get to carried away with anger or frustration. I'm not too good at showing it though. Due to autism I feel like there's a bit of a difference between how society expects people to show friendliness and how I do it. I'm quite reserved and I usually don't randomly show up or give gifts or something. I generally don't care about my own birthday and such, and therefore I'll also not think about those things for others. I try to detect when it does matter to people, and think of something to do or give, but honestly these expectations really stress me out.
I can definitely be a bit of an asshole sometimes though. I don't like people talking nonsense. In places where it matters, like work, want direct communication, with as little weaseling around as possible. No big words, no politics. So I will be that person that asks the "rude" and difficult question if it's necessary. I'm also quite stubborn, and require strong argumentation to actually be convinced of something. I've become more aware of this, so I tend to think twice nowadays to ensure that I'm really fighting a fight worth fighting and don't let myself get carried away too much with debating minor things.

No. But the world isn't a nice place.

Absolutely not. I’m rude to people (just check my post history) and often passive aggressive. I have little patience for people and am often not in a good mood. I don’t help people much and don’t get any pleasure out of it. To me, there is always a 50/50 chance the next person I see/meet may try and hurt or kill me at any moment so I am always on the lookout.
So far, so good. But no, I would never classify me as a good person by any metric.

i want and try to be but i don't succeed every day. i hate thinking about those times when i don't succeed, but being mindful of those times is a big part of what i can do to succeed more often.

I try to treat everyone as though I might be the first drop of kindness they have seen in some time, and my mantra when I find it difficult is "be kindness"- as in, choose the kindest option available to me at the time.
THAT SAID, I would not call myself a nice person, and if I was asked this I would elaborate that I try to be kind. I've known a handful of people who call themselves nice and I've been disappointed in their lack of patience and grace for others. Nice people don't need to say they're nice.

Only to those deserving.

I'm trying my best but I don't think so. I can be very insensitive without me knowing it.

A lot of people in this thread appear to be pretty hard on themselves. There seems to be a trend of people who want to be nice, are trying to be nice, but don't see themselves as nice. If that sounds like you, then I've got some good news for you:
You are a nice person.
If you're sincerely making the effort to be a better person then that's admirable. Self improvement is hard. Too often people are quick to judge based on the result of your actions rather than the effort that's put into them. To put it another way, we judge people by their actions but judge ourselves by our intentions.
Treat yourself to the niceness that you're trying to show to other people. You're doing the best you can. You're trying to be a nicer person which means you're trying to grow. From tiny seedlings grow mighty oaks, and the seedling shouldn't be shamed for starting its journey. Rather, it should be encouraged to keep growing.
If you find it difficult to be nice, but you're trying to be a nice person, I'd say that's a lot nicer than being the person who dismisses another for not being 'nice' enough.

I'm a mirror. if you're nice to me, I'm nice to you. if not, well...

I try my hardest to be a nice person, but I don't really think I am nice person

Honestly, dude. I would watch out for anyone who call themselves "nice".

I am very laid back (my Dad always said I was nearly horizontal) and I never get angry, I rarely even get flustered or impatient. My Dad was a very good man and I try to follow his example as much as possible. As his health declined and I started caring for him (a real privilege as he helped so many it was only just that he got help in return when he needed it, even if it couldn't possibly fully pay him back) and, as I picked up some of his slack I did wonder where he found the time or energy. Since he died, I have felt like a sheepdog without a flock and have found myself adopting various people - I helped a friend through her cancer journey and her son start university, I took another friend to hospital sufficiently often that she just told the staff I was her "hospital husband" (which did stop them asking questions, usually with a roll of the eyes) and, as I don't drink, I ferry people home from the pub.
However, I can be... thoughtless and this can be really annoying, especially to the easily angered - I've lost a friend over it and my brother isn't exactly my greatest fan (the other year, my niece asked if I wanted to know all the nasty things my brother said about me and I declined - if we knew what people thought about us, we'd tear each other apart). I can also be rude to people but just where it's funny, you just have to know your audience (it can appal any bystanders though). I'm also not very emotionally expressive and I suspect at least one friend thinks I'm a sociopath.
So am I nice? Although it might depend on who you ask, I'd say no. However, I try to do as much good as possible - if anyone needs help, I'll drop what I'm doing and pitch in.

75%

probably? I feel like it would make more sense to ask someone else if I was nice (assuming you want an accurate response), given I might be a little biased.

Depends on my mood. If I’m feeling good I’m usually pretty nice, but if I’m hangry then I get not-nice.

no. but i try to forgive myself for not taking the opportunity. imo, it is a skill that forms through a lot of interactions. a form of rizz. and to me, it doesn't come as natural.

I don't think I am, I often regret things I say or do. Even little things.

I'm not even a person.

My emotions and instincts can be assholes, but I choose to be a good person. So the answer really depends on how much you weigh my instantaneous reaction to an emotional situation vs after my rational brain kicks in and I remember that everything that angers or disappoints me wasn't done for the sole purpose of ruining my day. Oh and little stuff pisses me off way more than big stuff.
I wish I was a better person, but I think I'm alright most of the time.
- I'm exactly like that too. I think my nature isn't nice, but i can choose to be.
  And i'm also admiring anyone that as that nice nature, i find it beautiful and extremely attractive. So to a degree i have that goal of trying to choose it whenever i can.
  One drawback, wich also coincide with my very rational personality is that i hate having too strong of an emotion, had anger issues as a kid, but also the start of love is somewhat unpleasant for example.
  But hey, to me as long as your trying to be better, your are good person.

I'm anxious and avoidant and opportunistic. I try to make up for it when I feel able to.

I get told I'm one of the nicest and most polite people they've met, so I think there is something to it... I try my best to be friendly and helpful to people, and treat people how I want to be treated! 🤗

I don't love this question.
I spent a huge chunk of my life putting so much focus into being "nice" that some friends sremovedd about me being "a doormat".
Also? The word "nice" has so many soft negative connotations in 2024.
Subtext: if you're "nice" you're fundamentally un-interesting Subtext: if you're "nice" you're a push over and ripe to be taken advantage of.
GOOD person? MORAL person? OK.
Nice? Asking anyone to attribute this to themselves is a foot gun.

Most the time, but not all the time.

I'm not a nice person. I'm not a kind person. I'm not even a good person. I try to be all of those things and sometimes it feels like a struggle. I don't think I'm evil or a total asshole or a sociopath or something. I just think it a metric we have to constantly check-in on and adjust. I don't really trust people that think of themselves as nice, kind, or good. I don't think I really agree with those people about what it really means to be nice, kind, or good. For example, I do believe the song got it right, sometimes you do need to be cruel to be kind in the right measure.

I think I am. I think I'm nicer than most people (cringing at myself for saying that but I can't think of a humbler way to phrase it while still being honest).
- It's weird that most people probably think they are nice, because that's pretty subjective. Like someone can be in the KKK but thinks he's like a really nice dude. I think i'm nice because i would sacrifice a weekend to help a friend move for example, or do stuff for my almost elderly neighbour and so on. But no one could bring me to go to my uncle's birthday party and socialise with his friends, and i guess that's not very nice of me. So i don't know.
  
  Yea, it's obviously not clearly defined. "Nice" is a box that we like to put people in or out of, but of course people and reality in general don't fit in neat boxes.
  Being nice is more about what you do in a specific situation I guess. You can be nice in one situation, mean in another. Whether you are nice in general... Well how do you decide?

No. I know people who are genuinely nice, and I don't compare to that. I am, for the most part, trying to be a very relaxed person though, and my benign apathy has sometimes been described as "nice".

I try to be, but I don't rule out there may be aspects of the definition that go over my head. For example, there was a time when I was more known for giving to those in need than I'm known for now, but there were critics of mine who saw this and would accuse me of "buying over my friends with gifts". These same people often ask if I see people as pawns because I exchange favors with them, ask if I "think flattery is okay" during the times when I was more known for complimenting others, and criticize me over a combination things I've long made up for, things that normally wouldn't be seen as problematic, and unproven things. I guess I have a lot of everyday pharisees in life who make me think of this question a lot and that this is fresh in my mind. I don't stop people from wanting to explain how I'm not nice though, I just want to understand (within reason, I am my own human).

Irl, yes. Extremely so. I tend to be prickly online because, frankly, anonymous communication generally causes people to be assholes.
That said, I'm only a dick when someone else is being a dick first.
https://www.flamewarriorsguide.com

I can be, but am not always. I actually find niceness to be a highly overvalued character trait. Some of the most back stabbing, manipulative, wishy washy, fake people I have ever known were incredibly nice. In fact, they used their niceness as a shield and mask for their awful character traits. Took a long time to realize that niceness is not so important. Far more important are loyalty, reliability, willingness to admit fault, willingness to listen, and so on. Niceness is just basic human civility. I don't care how nice you are if you are a manipulative and fake.

not always :(