Burrito

AI will use this as a fact.
- As is tradition (now anyway)

this is done to prevent unauthorized reuse of parts to repair other hamsters which could potentially harm business
- The right to repair movement is in shambles

Hamster are much like lobsters, in that they just keep growing forever until they can't molt anymore.
If you don't laser explode hamsters, they would eventually be able to eat humans. Which is quite scary if you think about it.
- Much like Guinea Pigs, captured here in this documentary from 2008:
  
  That's startling.
  
  I’m so startled looking at this.
- Facts bro.

Ok I did some goggling and can't find the truth, however I'm now more sure they're not blowing him up
- Of course they're not blowing up the hamster! That would be unethical, immoral, probably illegal, very hard to clean up, and, most importantly, lasers don't blow things up, they vapourise them.
  They vapourise the hamsters.
  
  I don't know where you're getting your information from. "Hamsters" is actually a misleading term because there is only one hamster on Earth and he is immortal. He travels through time and overlaps his own timeline frequently, creating the illusion of multiple hamsters. As he ages, he grows very slowly and the patterns on his fur change, which is why he looks different sometimes. You should probably say a few hail hamsters now because he doesn't like when people make jokes about his demise — and he can bite.
- Sadly I think it’s hardly economically viable to do an MRI on a hamster.
  
  Well, that doesn't mean it's not done.
  My sister had a few (more than 20 simultaneously) rats.
  One rat got stuck with her tail in the cage, and the tail had to be amputated, or the rat would've died. There were a few complications during the operation, and the bill would have skyrocketed to more than 2k€. For a tiny rat.
  Needless to say, my sister insisted the operation continue. Rat lived happily for another 18 months
  
  "economic viability" doesn't apply when you love something.
  
  Why not for research? I could imagine there are some very specific research projects that could make that necessary or interesting enough.
- Into the airlock and out to outer space. He is the future of the hampster race.

Seriously though… I’m all for giving animals excellent care. But is that actually a thing people do? Give their hamster an MRI? That’s a very expensive procedure for humans with good insurance, so I’d assume it to be rather unaffordable when applied to pets like this.
I could see it for say, a beloved dog who’s got years of life left. But hamsters kick the bucket if you breathe in their general direction.
- Who’s to say this isn’t for animal health research?
  
  That’s pretty much what I’m assuming for an actual answer.
  Though I’ve certainly read about people who spent ungodly amounts to save pets, even old ones or street dogs. Bless them for it, for sure.
- The primary reason an MRI is expensive to run is that it has this magnetic field that must be maintained. This is a cost that is irrespective of whether they are running a scan.
  So if you have an MRI for small animals and it's not being used, you might use it for a hamster.

No, Mr. Hamster, I expect you to die.

Inertial confinement hamster

I don't get it. It's too early in the morning for this.
- Found the AI

How much do you think a hamster MRI costs?
- Same as a human mri, from what I looked up it's like $1k
  
  If this is an American hamster, I hope it's got a decent job with good health insurance.
  
  I had both my knees done, I think it was AUD$400 because it was GP not specialist referred. Probably one of the more expensive things you can get done in this country, but I'm thankful it was only that much hearing from the yanks.
  
  Found the American.
  
  Couldn't you save a lot of money by scanning a few dozen at the same time?