7mo ago

The inner circle is a dot

introvert @lemmy.world

196 6

49 comments

Nah, I don't mind small talk. Small talk is fine. It's easy, you just smile a bit, and say hi and make a joke about whatever the other guy said.
It's the mid-size talk I can't deal with. The kind of talk where the other person is just giving you clichés of normie chatter about politics you disagree with or car culture or reality shows and you're supposed to just... keep providing valid responses and appear interested. I don't see what's small about that and it's excruciating.
- Nah, that's great because you can so easily escalate to heavy talk. Disagree with the political opinion. Insist car culture is just pointless fashion fads. Dive into the morality of reality TV.
  Either they disengage and you're free, or you get to have an actual meaningful debate instead of echoing hollow platitudes.
  
  Thing is, I just don't care about your political opinion or your preferred fashion fad. I'm not going to either agree or disagree with you, I just don't care about you and now that you keep talking I'm actively disliking you.
  I'm not going to engage in stupid pointless arguments, especially with someone I have to work with again. I'm just going to smile, nod and leave.
  
  While I definitely agree with this and encourage it, most often this happens at work. I got shit to do, I don't have the time to debate politics with a random customer. Sometimes I'd love to, and some rare times I actually get to have a good long conversation with someone like that, but 99% of the time I really want you to just shut up so I can keep it moving. No matter how much I want to tell someone that Game of Thrones was a genuinely good show for 80% of its runtime, or that Joe Biden isn't the literal devil.
- I found this got easier as I got more comfortable with my own eccentricities, but it's still draining after a while. I've just had to accept that some conversations will just not go well for me.
  I think it's one of the reasons a house party can be so draining, but a little dinner date can go down smooth - because the of the depth of the conversation you describe.

"They pick 2 people..." only as a backup in case one of them dies

People are always really surprised whenever I give a presentation or something. I can actually be quite eloquent. I just choose not to be, most of the time.
- I'm the same way. It's funny seeing people's reactions when I "turn it on"
- Haha you just were be eloquent

Two people? No I'm greedy, I need three so we have enough for boardgames.
- I hate games that assume I have my shit together enough to know 3 other people.
  
  Pokemon and some gameboy zeldas were not enjoyed to the fullest extent because I needed to not only have friends but friends with different versions of the game.
- That's what Sven in the basement is for. I assume his name is Sven. Might ask him sometime.

I feel so represented right now lol
- Fucking seriously. I literally have 2 good friends and I don't go looking to add more because conversation is exhausting.
  I have two modes of talking: complaining and explaining something. Sometimes those are both the same lol
  
  I have two modes of talking: complaining and explaining something. Sometimes those are both the same lol
  Holy shit this is perfect and beautiful. Cheers
  
  90% of my voice messages to my partner are literally that. The other 10% is about cats I happen to come across.
- Likewise.
  I just enjoy being alone a lot. Not lonely; alone. I love being alone, or at the very least left alone. Makes me feel relaxed and peaceful. I barely have enough to give one person, let alone a whole bunch of them.
- Precisely my feeling reading that.

I honestly don't think there's any binary introvert/extrovert trait, and that lots of people combine different traits of introversion and extroversion.
- It's just a stupid stereotype some idiot created and people bought into.
  
  I can get behind it as a broad way of classifying personalities, but when people treat it as a whole package deal of different traits it just feels like horoscopes to me.

Y'all are getting two people to share your life story with? That sounds exhausting.
- It's being someone's ONLY person that sounds exhausting to me. What if they need support and I'm out of energy? Or vice versa? Rather distribute it between about three people.
  
  Seriously, this is a valid point. Introverts, please at least try to have more than a single friend. It's hard, I know, I'm one of you. But I've also been someone else's only friend and sometimes you just can't be there when they need you. It doesn't mean they love you any less but each person is the main character of their own story, not yours, and sometimes you can't be the focus of today's chapter. Having more than one person you can lean on will be better for you and better for each of those friends and it'll help you keep friends longer.

By this definition I'd be closer to an introvert, but compared to my wife I'm extrovert as fuck. Would definitely say there is no hard rule.
- It's a spectrum for sure
- Sounds like you're just an introvert to me, that's pretty typical of introverts from what I've seen.

We're like cats.

/c/im14andthisisdeep
- Don’t me mad because no one made you their 1 of 2 :p
  
  **
- Goes for every "look how introvert I am and how my 'batteries' drain by the word" post...
  
  Was gonna make a good reply to this but i ran out of energy and now my day is ruined