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NonCredibleDefense @sh.itjust.works

nuke @sh.itjust.works

1y ago

Pro Tip: Putting spaghetti in your ammo makes for a great emergency snack

23 comments

Follow up pro tip: only do this if you want war with Italy. Every time someone breaks a spaghetto, an Italian person dies.
- My favorite grocery store sells “pot-ready spaghetti noodles” which are half the length of normal ones. I think Italy’s declaration of war is a foregone conclusion at this point
  
  I mean, who decided that spaghetti noodles had to be that long anyway? What if I go to Italy and start selling spaghetti noodles that are 2m long? When will they admit that its fin to snappa the spaghetta?
  
  Protip, you can cook regular spaghetti noodles in a big pan. You only need enough water to cover the noodles and it's way faster than boiling a lake's worth of water in a pot and doing the whole "try to fold the pasta into the water as fast as possible so it cooks evenly" dance.
  
  Did you know they don’t eat garlic bread in Italy?
  Ergo, “Italian Food” in America is better than food in Italy. They have to take us out as a matter of self defense
- What if after it's cooked you just cut it up with scissors?
  
  deeply saddened italian noises
- My wife showed me the Instagram page of an American woman who was married to an Italian guy. She would fuck with him for content. The one where she breaks spaghetti in half before throwing it into the water is hilarious, he flips his shit

Shreddi Spaghetti
- Never forghetti
  
  Maybe a little forgetti, as a treat

Yummy cordite-pasta 😋
- It's called Corditini

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Salted with a little extra lead in case you're not removed enough already

also a good place to hide the weed. 😁

About the same amount of calories as in gun powder. Should work just fine.

Nice try, gluten

This just makes me think the soldier isn't intending to shoot anyone anyway, say if he's more sympathetic to the local civilians than his political masters.
And if I recall correctly, American troopers often made more friends with chocolate and beanie babies than with bullets.

23 comments