Don't tell him how Swabian Ravioli are called in the local dialect

Capybaras are classified as fish in Catholic canon law, on the grounds that they spend their lives in water. I’m guessing that a party of conquistadors was on the verge of starvation and got their priest to petition the Vatican to issue a retroactive ruling in their favour.

Iirc, both Jewish and Islamic law are explicit that if you can break kosher/eating halal if you have no other options for food. Keeping yourself alive is more important.

Is there not something similar in catholic theology?
- In Catholic doctrine you can break literally all rules except denouncing the holy spirit, if you confess and repent afterwards.
- You're always a sinner anyway in catholics.
- Putting on my miter, crossing my arms stubbornly, and whispering "This is the way" as I shrivel up into an emaciated string bean.
- If you want to get really technical, in Jewish theory there's an argument in the Talmud or Mishrad that says that as long as the dish is less than 1/16 or 1/32 (something like that,) of the non halal meat, then it can be considered kosher as well
  
  I'm not Jewish, I just studied religions for a while. Someone who is Jewish can correct me on the proper percentage
I don't have a source for this but I had been told it was in an attempt to try to convert Venezuelans to Catholicism
- You don't like the religion?
  
  Here, we made the big dog a fish, are you happy now?
also hippos are fish.
Apparently same was true for lizards, beavers and barnacle geese due to same reasoning.
- Man did they not known about beans?

Huh so apparently it's because of Latin?

Quoting an old comment

Fish isn't considered meat because English and Latin are slightly different languages. For hundreds of years Catholics were not allowed to eat meat on Friday. But the language of the church is Latin, and what Catholics were not allowed to eat is 'carne' which is the flesh of creatures from the land or the sky. So fish was fine.

http://jimmyakin.com/2005/02/fish_fridays.html

Also. around the mediterrainian, fish is a food staple of the poor. The point is to eliminate excess.

I'd argue that an inlander ordering fish at a fancy restaurant on a Friday during Lent is not following the spirit of the law (which can be more of a discipline than a rule, depending on the local episcopal authority), especially if it's not a special occasion and the fish was caught hundreds of kilometers away.
- The inlander could eat freshwater fish like trout or carp, no fancy saltwater fish.

I can't believe all this religious people that pull off these loopholes really believe in a god...

If it really exists, it's gonna bust your ass.

In some religious traditions, it's not believed that they're loopholes, or cheating.
If the written rules are the precise literal words of your deity who can make no errors, then if something is technically allowed it's allowed on purpose.
The deity wouldn't make a mistake or try to trick people into following a rule that wasn't written.

Yahweh says no tending a fire on Saturday. Alright, what is "fire"? Is electricity fire? Is it a prohibited labor? Time to think.
God says no eating creatures of the land or sky. Well, otters aren't of the land or sky, so fair game.
Allah says no pork unless your life depends on it. Is processed porcine collagen still pork if it's used in artificial heart valves? What level of chemical transformation is required to remove the "pork-ness"?

The belief that a deity cares about the spirit of the the written rules and not the words is itself a religious belief.
Which, in some religions, means it's open to debate to figure out exactly what it means. :P
- I wonder why your comment is being downvoted. As if understanding people different from myself is a bad thing.
- That thinking only works if you don't realize that it's all in interpretation, its not a loophole persay it's a series of loopholes you sorta work around and jump through.
They believe in whatever suits their interests best.
The loopholes were pulled throughout history so people don't remember the old ways after a couple generation and stop asking why things are changing. If the church kept telling people to fast for 40 days they would have lost a lot more believers way sooner.
- The church still tells people to fast for 40 days. I’m in Greece right now visiting my partners family and they’ve just ended their 40 day fast. So not sure where you get that from, unless you’re referring to the Western churches, in which case yes, the fast has been abandoned. But in eastern churches all meat, fish, dairy, egg, alcohol, rich/fatty foods and olive oil (depends on the church that one), is banned and followers are expected to spend those days focusing on their faith, attending church and praying. The very religious restrict themselves to one meal a day after sundown, usually a bean soup of sorts or bread and water (my father in law does this). The faithful are also expected to abstain from things like video games, television etc and engage with family, volunteer and do something for nature and people, but that’s not really followed by many.
Tricking god is a big deal and totally fine depending on who you ask
- you reminded me of this as well https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/jun/09/residents-divided-over-plans-for-eruv-in-north-london
Oh, that's nothing compared to what's going on in Judaism...
- My favorite is the string they put all around Manhattan, so that they can trick God into thinking that they're really at home while running errands on shabbat.
Exploiting a series of obscure antiquated strictures to convince yourself that you're going to get a big reward in the afterlife is central to all sorts of religious traditions. Its no different than chasing loopholes while filing your tax return, and then applauding yourself for winning a big rebate check.

In a world run by petty bureaucrats and dogmatic priests, why wouldn't you believe that God was the most petty and dogmatic of them all?
I don't think that this will convince you, but still:

I think it's a mistake and assume that all religious people are stupid or don't have an internally consistent worldview.

Christians (catholics, especially) know that they can't avoid sinning. That's what repentance is for.

Disclaimer: I'm an atheist myself, but I've outgrown my Richard Dawkins phase.

You can also cover the meat in pasta dough so god doesn't see it

Similar energy to drinking in a dimly lit bar makes sure Allah doesn't see you drinking so it's fine lol
Found the Schwob.
- Nett hier

"Herrgottsbscheisserle"

That's the word you are looking for. We also ate beaver on fridays, they are fish!

Rough translation: "Little god bullshitters"
- Maybe "God-foolers", as in: we're hiding the meat so god doesn't know we're still eating it
The Maulbronn monchs once decided that anything living in their pond was fish. Ducks, geese and apparently once a cow drowned and was thus declared a fish.

For lent, beaver counts as fish

Thats the pickup line I use on devout catholics.
- Ah yes, the beaver reacharound
  
  Save the poophole loophole for 2nd date
Fish: live in water

Beavers: also live in water

checks out
- Some monks also drowned their pigs. They lived in the water until they died, so they are fish
- Some birds live in water... even though they are creatures of the sky...so is duck ok for lent?

Not eating meat on Fridays is an invention of the church. Jesus never said that.

Peter didn't even know what dollars were
Half the fun of the Christianities is endlessly debating what Jesus did or did not say.

https://christspiracy.com/
- I mean, that’s presumably all written in the Bible. More often than not, the question isn’t what he said but what he meant by it, and there’s certainly no shortage of opinions on that.
- What absolute bollocks - Jesus, probably.
Conveniently enough church said beavers are fish so they had meat to eat while others suffer.
- Let him who is without sin eat the first beaver.
- abstaining from the consumption of animal flesh isn't suffering. Quite the opposite.